“Really?” He sounded extremely pleased with himself.
“If you must know, it disturbed the hell out of me at the time.” I sniffed haughtily.
He grunted. “I’m sure it did. I’m surprised you could look me in the eye afterward.”
“It wasn’t easy.”
I felt him shake with laughter. “Okay… so tonight’s dream?”
I tensed again, and he felt it, his arms tightening around me. “It was the same dream to begin with… but just as you’re about to…”
“About to?”
“Come inside me,” I muttered, still not quite sexually forthright enough to say the words without a little bit of modest embarrassment. “Suddenly I was across the room, watching on. I thought at first I was having some sort of out-of-body experience, but then the woman cried out and… I saw who it was.”
Logan was tense now. “Who was it?”
I shook my head, feeling sick all over again with the memory. “My mother.”
“Jesus Christ,” Logan bit out immediately.
I pulled away from him so I could look him in the eyes. “I know you wouldn’t betray me like that. That’s not why I’m crying.”
He cupped my face in his hands, his eyes dark with worry. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I finally feel like there is a chance I could be really happy… and I thought I had let go of them long ago, but these past few months…” The tears spilled down my cheeks. “She has cancer, Logan. She hasn’t asked for me. My father hasn’t. And it was his pattern, you know… Whenever she hurt me, I’d do something rebellious. I’d decide I was dropping out of high school and he’d suddenly fly home from a business trip to tell me how proud he’d be if I graduated top of the class. And it worked. He manipulated me. Made me believe that he actually cared. And then she’d hurt me again and I decided I wasn’t going to a top university. Community college would do me. Dad would come home, give me presents, sweet-talk me, and suddenly I was going to Oxford. Then she hurt me again and I changed my mind and accepted University of Edinburgh. Dad didn’t mind too much since it was still a good school, but he came back to try to change my mind.
“When she slept with my boyfriend, Dad tried to manipulate me then too. But I was too hurt and disgusted by them this time. It didn’t work. I left. And he gave up.” I stared up at Logan, pleading with him. “How could he do that? He just gave up. He never came for me. He has never sought me out. And now my mother has cancer and they just… they don’t want me there.”
“Do you want to be there?”
“I want them to want me to be there,” I admitted, ashamed they still had that hold over me. “I thought I was over it, Logan. I’m so mad at them and mad at myself. I’m not a child anymore. I shouldn’t feel like this.”
“It doesn’t matter what age you are. Parents have more power over us than anyone.” He drew me closer. “They don’t deserve you, Grace.” He pressed a soft, comforting kiss to my lips. “Perhaps you should talk to someone again?”
I stared up at this beautiful, caring man and gave him a small, watery smile. “I’m talking to you.” I mirrored his words to me from not that long ago.
“And you always can.” The words were heavy and deep with promise.
CHAPTER 22
Six pairs of pretty eyes stared at me, together conveying a mixture of curiosity, teasing, delight, and expectation. Chloe, Shannon, Joss, Jo, Hannah, Ellie, and Olivia sat in a semicircle in my sitting room.
It was two days after my decision to give Logan a chance, and I’d called them all for a reason. Probably not the reason they were hoping for.
I wasn’t much of a gossip.
“Thank you all for coming, guys. I’ve asked you here —”
“To thank us for pushing you to give in to Logan? You’re welcome.” Shannon grinned.
I smiled serenely. “Oh, no. You’re here despite that.”
Joss snorted. “Gotcha.”
“This is actually about Maia’s sixteenth birthday. Logan feels it would be better if I organize it —”
“And of course you said yes because you looovve him,” Chloe interrupted.
The girls tittered at her immaturity.
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, I was wondering if you ladies would like to help me organize a sweet sixteen birthday party.”
“Of course!” Shannon nodded enthusiastically, and the other girls smiled and added their own agreements.
“Okay, so I think we’re all on board with helping you organize the best sweet sixteen any girl has ever had, but first please give us some details about you and Logan,” Olivia said.
Shannon made a face. “Not too much detail. He’s still my brother, and I can guess what put that look of pleased satisfaction on his face. I don’t need the details.”
Looking around at their inquiring faces, I gave a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. I have agreed to give a relationship with Logan a chance so he can earn back my trust. It’s been two days so far, and we’re still working on it.”
“And the sex?” Chloe persisted. “Is it as good as the first time? He looks like he would make it good every time.”
Shannon made a gagging noise.
“He’s not good at it.” I shook my head, watching their faces fall. “He’s fantastic at it, and that’s all you need to know on the matter.”
“Frankly, that was too much for some of us,” Shannon muttered.