“But I love her,” I said without hesitation.
Her eyes widened, probably since it was the first time she’d heard me say it out loud—well, about anyone other than my family. I wished I had said it more often, especially to Kat. Funny how that kind of shit always turns out in the end. While you’re deep in something, you never say or do what you need to. It’s always after the fact, when it’s too late, that you realize what you should’ve said or done.
It couldn’t be too late. The fact that I was still alive was testament to that.
Tears filled my sister’s eyes as she said in a quiet voice, “She loves you, too.”
The burn in my chest expanded and crawled up my throat.
“You know, I always knew she liked you before she admitted it to me or herself.”
I smiled slightly. “Yeah, same here.”
Dee twisted the length of her hair in her hands. “I knew she’d be…she’d be perfect for you. She’d never put up with your crap.” Dee sighed. “I know Kat and I had our problems over…Adam, but I love Kat, too.”
I couldn’t do this—sit here and talk about her like we were at some kind of wake or memorial. This shit was too much.
She took a little breath, a sure sign she was about to unload. “I wish I hadn’t been so hard on her. I mean, she totally needed to know that she should’ve trusted me and all of that, but if I could’ve let go of it sooner, then…well, you know what I mean. It would’ve been better for everyone. I hate the idea that I might never—” She cut herself off quickly, but I knew what she was getting at. She might never see Kat again. “Anyway, I had asked her before prom if she was scared about going back to Mount Weather.”
My chest seized like someone had grabbed me in a bear hug. “What did she say?”
Dee let go of her hair. “She said she was, but, Daemon, she was so brave. She even laughed, and I told her…” She stared at her hands, her expression pinched. “I told her to be careful and to keep you and Dawson safe. And you know, she said she would, and she did, in a way.”
Christ.
I rubbed my palm over my chest where it felt like a fist-sized hole had opened up.
“But before I had asked her that, she had been trying to talk to me about Adam and everything, and I had cut her off with that question. She kept trying to make amends, and I kept pushing her back. She probably hated me—”
“That’s not the case.” I looked Dee dead-on. “She didn’t hate you. Kat understood. She knew you needed time, and she…” I stood, suddenly needing to get out of this room and this house and onto the road.
“We haven’t run out of time,” she said quietly, almost like she was begging…and damn if that didn’t hurt. “We haven’t.”
Anger flashed through me, and it took everything for me not to lash out. Because keeping me in that damn cabin had been nothing but a waste of time. Taking several deep breaths, I asked a question I wasn’t sure I wanted an answer to. “Have you seen her mom?”
Her lower lip trembled. “I have.”
I caught my sister’s stare and held it. “Tell me.”
Her expression said that was the last thing she wanted to do. “The police were at her house all day after…we got back. I talked to them, and then to her mom. The police think you two ran away. Or at least that’s what they told her mom, but I think one of them is an implant. He was way too adamant about it.”
“Of course,” I muttered.
“Her mom doesn’t believe it, though. She knows Katy. And Dawson has been keeping a low profile with Beth and all. It would seem suspicious to anyone with two brain cells.” She plopped back down, arms falling in her lap. “It was really hard. Her mom was so upset. I could tell she thinks the worst, especially after Will and Carissa ‘disappearing,’” Dee said, using air quotes. “She’s really bad off.”
Guilt exploded like buckshot, leaving dozens of holes in me. Kat’s mom shouldn’t be going through this—worrying about her daughter, missing her, and fearing the worst.
“Daemon? Don’t leave us. We’ll find a way to get her, but please don’t leave us. Please.”
I stared at her in silence. I couldn’t make a promise I had no intention of keeping and she already knew that. “I have to go. You know that. I have to get her back.”
Her lower lip trembled. “But what if you don’t get her back? What if you are put in there with her?”
“Then at least I’m with her. I’m there for her.” I walked up to my sister and clasped her cheeks. Tears rolled down, pooling along my fingers. I hated to see her cry, but I hated what was happening to Kat more. “Don’t worry, Dee. This is me we’re talking about. You know damn well I can get myself out of any situation. And you know I will get her out of there.”
And nothing in this world would stop me.
Chapter 3
Katy
I was amazed that with all the reeling my brain was doing, I’d be able to do something normal like change into fresh clothes—a pair of black jogging pants and a gray cotton shirt. The clothing fit on a disturbing level, even the undergarments.
Like they knew I’d be coming.
Like they had snooped around in my undie drawer and got my size.
I wanted to hurl.
Instead of dwelling on that, which would most definitely lead to me flipping out and getting a face full of onyx and icy water again, I focused on my cell. Oh, excuse me. My quarters, as Dr. Roth reminded me.