“No.” I shook my head vigorously. “None of that was your fault.”
“It wasn’t?” Anger deepened his voice. “I have this ability to heal, but I couldn’t get it right.”
“But you had to want to heal them—like on a cellular level. You were being forced to do it.”
“It doesn’t change that so many people died.” He sat forward again, antsy. “There was a period of time that I believed I deserved what they were doing to me, but never…never to Beth. She didn’t deserve that.”
“You didn’t either, Dawson.”
He stared at me a moment, then looked away. “They withheld Beth, then food, then water, and when that still didn’t work, they got creative.” He let out a long breath. “I guess they did the same to Beth, but I really didn’t know. All I saw was what they did in front of me.”
My stomach sank to the couch cushion. I had a really bad feeling about this.
“They’d hurt her just so I could heal her, and they could study the process.” Dawson’s jaw worked. “Each time I felt the worst kind of fear. What if it didn’t work? What if I failed Beth? I’d…” He moved his neck, as if working out a kink.
He’d never be the same. Tears climbed up my throat again. I wanted to cry for him, for Beth, but most of all, for the people they once were but never would be again.
Chapter 19
After that, Dawson shut down. He talked about anything—weather, football, the Smurfs—but nothing about Daedalus or what they did to him and Beth. Part of me was grateful. I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle knowing, as selfish as that sounded.
But the bad part was that once we stopped talking about serious stuff, my brain ran right back to where Daemon was and what he was doing. When it neared midnight and he still hadn’t come home, I couldn’t sit there any longer.
I couldn’t sit anywhere.
Saying good night, I made the quick and chilly trek across the lawn. The first thing I did was check my cell. There was a text waiting and my heart stuttered.
Srry abt tnght. Tlk tmrw.
It had come in about an hour ago. Meaning he was still with Ash—er, Andrew, Dee, and Ash.
I glanced at the clock, like that would somehow change the time. My heart was pounding in my chest, as though I’d run from next door. Looking down at my cell, I fought the urge to throw it against the wall. I knew I was being ridiculous. Daemon was friends with them, including Ash. He could hang out with them without me. And with the fallout between Dee and me, he hadn’t been spending a lot of time with her.
Ridiculous or not, my feelings were hurt. And I hated that—hated that something as stupid as this would upset me.
Taking my phone upstairs, I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and changed into my jammies, still debating on texting him back. I wanted the willpower not to, kind of like my in your face, but damn if that wasn’t stupid considering everything that was going on.
On the flip side, I was butt sore about this. So I placed the cell on my stand and I climbed under the covers, pulling them to my chin. I stayed that way, beating myself up for not texting him back, for going out with Blake the first time, for kissing him, and for lying awake beating myself up. Finally, my brain had enough and it closed shop for the night.
Sometime later, I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or not. I was in that hazy stage where reality mixed with the subconscious. Part of it was a dream, I knew that much, because I could see Daemon in this building. I’d catch sight of his dark hair and then he drifted away. He was in one room and before I could get to him, he went to another. It was an endless maze and he kept moving around, never responding to me as I yelled his name.
Frustration swelled inside me and my chest ached. Chasing him, never reaching him in time, losing him… It wouldn’t end.
And then the bed shifted and the building faded, evaporated into wisps of smoke and darkness. A heavy weight settled beside me. A hand brushed the hair back from my face, and I think I smiled, because he was here and that soothed me. I slipped back into deep sleep, where I wasn’t chasing Daemon in my dreams.
…
When morning came, I rolled over, expecting to find Daemon. Mom worked until late morning on Saturdays and Daemon had taken to staying as long as he could, but my bed was empty.
Smoothing my hand along the extra pillow, I inhaled, expecting the outdoorsy clean scent that was uniquely his, but all I smelled was a faint trace of citrus. Had I dreamt Daemon’s presence?
Geez, I was so lame if so.
Frowning, I sat up and grabbed my cell. There was a missed text that had come in around two in the morning from Daemon.
Bacon & eggs 4 breakfast. Cme over when u wake.
“Two in the morning?” I stared at the phone. Had he been out with them till then?
My heart was racing again and I flopped onto my back, groaning. Apparently I was lame and Daemon had a really late night but not with me.
Dragging myself out of bed, I showered and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. Numbness had settled over me as I dried my hair halfway and twisted it up into a messy bun. I headed next door and found that the door was locked.
I placed my hand on the handle and waited until I heard the locks turning over. As I opened the door, unease blossomed. It was way too easy to get in and out of people’s houses, including mine.
Shaking my head, I eased the door shut and took a deep breath. The house was tomb silent. Everyone was still asleep. I went upstairs, careful of the two steps at the top that creaked. Dawson’s and Dee’s bedroom doors were shut, but I could hear the soft hum of music coming from Daemon’s.