Snow continued to fall, but with the moon out, reflecting off the pristine surface, I found my way to the lake easily. I stood by the frozen, flawless water, huddled down in my sweater and the scarf my mom had bought me for Christmas. I’d even donned the matching gloves.
Things were clearer here. Not less intense, but manageable. Adam was dead, and eventually the DOD would come looking for Vaughn. And when they did, it would come back to me…and to Daemon.
And I’d killed. Not by my own hand, but I had led everyone down this road. People have died—innocent and those not so innocent. Daemon had been right—a life was a life. Enemy or not, there was blood on my hands I couldn’t wash away, soaking through my skin and leaving a dark stain.
And every time I closed my eyes, I saw Adam’s body. There was a tightness in my chest that would probably never go away.
I wasn’t sure about going to school tomorrow. It seemed pointless after everything. I still had no clue who had betrayed Dawson and Bethany, and there were more implants out there, watching me—watching all of us. An invisible clock had appeared, ticking away to my very own personal doomsday, and I had no one to blame but myself.
About a minute later, I felt a warm tingle dancing across my neck. My breath stalled in my chest, and I couldn’t will my body to turn around. Why was he here? He had to hate me. So did Dee.
The snow crunched under his footsteps, which I found strange. He could move so quietly when he wanted. His body heat blanketed me as he stopped directly behind me. I couldn’t ignore him forever, and I also knew he’d stand there forever if he chose to. Surprised and wary, I faced him.
“I knew you’d be here.” He looked away, a muscle popping in his jaw. “It’s where I come when I need to think.”
I said the first thing that came to mind. “How’s Dee?”
“She’ll survive,” he said, eyes shadowed. “We need to talk.” Daemon leaned forward before I could respond. “Are you busy right now? Not sure if I’m interrupting. Staring at the lake can take a lot of concentration.”
I couldn’t figure out anything from his words or expression. “I’m not busy.”
His ultra-bright gaze settled on me. “Then come back with me?”
Anxious energy built inside me. Was he going to kill me and stash my body? Drastic but probable after everything I’d caused. My throat dried as we started back to his house in silence. I followed him inside, hands clammy and trembling.
“Hungry?” he asked. “I haven’t eaten all day.”
“Yeah, a little.”
He moved into the kitchen and pulled out a package of lunch meat. I sat at the table while he made two ham and cheese sandwiches. He doubled up on the mustard on mine, knowing that was how I liked it, and I almost started bawling again right then. We ate in strained silence.
Finally, after he’d cleaned up, I stood. “Daemon, I—”
“Not yet,” he said. Drying his hands, he then walked out of the kitchen without answering me. Drawing in a deep breath, I trailed after him. When he started up the steps, my pulse skyrocketed.
“Why are we going upstairs?”
Daemon glanced over his shoulder, hand on the mahogany-colored rail. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. It’s just seems…”
He went up the stairs, leaving me no other choice. We passed Dee’s empty bedroom. It looked like Pepto-Bismol threw up in there. There was another bedroom with the door closed. I figured it had been Dawson’s, probably untouched since he’d disappeared. Months had passed before Mom and I had moved any of Dad’s stuff.
“Where’s Dee?” I asked.
“She’s with Ash and Andrew. I think being with them is helping her…”
I nodded. More than anything, I wanted to go back in time, to ask more questions, to not be so damn stupid.
Daemon opened a door, and my heart flip-flopped. Stepping aside, he let me brush past him. “Your room?”
“Yep. The best spot in the whole house.”
His room was large, surprisingly clean and organized. A few band posters hung on the walls, which were painted a deep blue. All the blinds were down, curtains drawn. With a wave of his hand, a bedside lamp clicked on.
There were a lot of expensive electronics: a flat-screen TV, a Mac that sent a dose of envy through me, a stereo system, and even a desktop. My gaze went to his bed.
It was big.
And the blue down comforter looked comfy and inviting. Lots of room to roll around…or just to sleep. Nothing like my little-girl bed. I forced my gaze away from his bed and walked over to his Mac. “Nice computer.”
“It is.” Daemon kicked off his shoes.
I could barely breathe. “Daemon—” The bed springs creaked under his weight as I ran my fingers over the lid of the Mac. “I am so sorry about everything. I shouldn’t have trusted him—I should’ve listened to you. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“Adam didn’t get hurt. He died, Kat.”
A lump formed in my throat as I turned to him. His eyes glittered. “I… If I could go back, I’d change everything.”
Daemon shook his head as his gaze dropped to his open hands. He curled them into fists. “I know we don’t always get along, and I know the whole connection thing freaked you out, but you knew you could always trust me. The moment you suspected Blake was with the DOD, you should’ve come to me.” Helplessness cracked his voice. “I could’ve prevented this.”
“I do trust you. With my life,” I said, inching closer. “But once I thought he could possibly be involved with them, I didn’t want you involved. Blake knew and suspected too much already.”