It would still feel like a betrayal to her. She studied him for a moment and then asked the one question that had boggled her mind for longer than she cared to admit. “And how do you feel about me?”
Braydon stood up straight, backing away from her just a little. She could see some of the same emotions she’d witnessed before flitting across his handsome features. Brendon had told her that Braydon loved her. Was it true? Would he admit it if it was?
And if he did, what was she going to do about it?
Braydon turned away as he sighed.
“I never meant for it to happen, Jess. I knew, just like you did, that it was supposed to be temporary. Everything is temporary where Brendon is concerned. I don’t know how he ended up like that, or why he seems to think that he has to hold back, but I’m not like him in that regard.”
Jessie was listening, trying not to read between the lines. But even in doing that, she didn’t hear what she wanted to hear. “When did it stop being temporary for you?” she asked, pushing him to open up to her.
Not that she was being fair, because she had no intention of giving away her true feelings. Not yet anyway. This man had abandoned her—even if he didn’t see it that way.
“The first time I kissed you,” Braydon said, turning to face her again. “Everything changed from that moment forward, Jess. I . . .”
Jessie waited, holding her breath.
“I fell in love with you,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. I know I fucked things up for all of us, but I couldn’t stop what I was feeling.”
Jessie’s heart began an erratic beat, swelling with emotion and hope.
“I don’t know what that means for us,” he continued. “I just know that I can’t walk away from you again.”
“But you did once,” she reminded him, reminded herself.
Braydon gripped the back of his neck again and turned away. She could see the battle he was having internally, and she wanted to both comfort him and question him. She opted for questioning because until she had answers, she knew that they’d never get past this. Before she could get another inquiry out, Braydon continued.
“I didn’t want to leave you, Jess. I thought I was doing the right thing. Giving you space, giving Brendon space. But most importantly, I had to come to grips with what I was feeling and how I was fucking things up.” Braydon kept his head down as he went on. “I was being selfish. I know that now. I wanted—I still want—you all to myself. I don’t want to share you anymore. Not with my twin, who I’ve shared every other woman with; not with anyone. Can you understand that?”
She did. More than she wanted to admit.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” she told him, purposely not answering his question.
Braydon turned again, his hand falling to his side. She felt the penetration of his heated gaze fixed on her and she closed her mouth, swallowed.
“Tell me this, Jess. Do you want this? Do you want to see where this goes?”
God, here was the part where she sliced herself wide open and allowed him the ability to crush her heart into a million pieces.
But she couldn’t lie to him.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I do.”
“Do you want to take it slow?” he asked, taking a step closer.
No, she didn’t, but this was the part where she was going to lie to him. If they didn’t take it slow, she was going to end up hurt. Or worse, everyone else was. And above all else, Jessie knew she didn’t make sound decisions when it came to men. But this man was different. He deserved everything, and she knew in order for her to give him that, they were going to have to take baby steps. “Yes,” she said, locking her eyes with his. “It’s the only way it’ll work.”
Braydon moved closer again, eliminating the gap between them. All the oxygen in the air around them disappeared when he put his hands on her hips, pulling her close. She watched as he leaned down. “Then we’ll take it slow, Jess.”
And when he pressed his lips to hers, the heat engulfed her, making her tremble with a need that had built for months and months, the desire to have this man all to herself, to focus all her attention on him.
God, he could kiss.
The way his tongue slid into her mouth, seeking, searching, tasting . . . Jessie met him halfway, sliding her tongue with his, relishing the warmth of his body against hers. The rest of the world fell away as he held her right there on her front porch, kissing her like a man who’d been dying to do so.
Jessie knew what he was feeling. She’d dreamed about this moment, never believing it would be possible though. Yet here they were, and she was scared to let him go, scared he would walk away and never come back.