“Stay.”
Beau wanted to stay more than he wanted air, but he wasn’t sure whether Ethan was saying that for his benefit or Blake’s. And truthfully, Beau didn’t want to get in the middle of this. The two of them needed to work through this or there was no way Beau and Ethan could move forward.
If that was the direction they were headed.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” Beau said quietly, forcing his legs to move. One foot in front of the other. Repeat.
He managed to make it to his truck without incident, but as soon as he was inside, the heater blasting, Beau sat in the darkness for several minutes, staring up at the closed front door to Ethan’s house. He couldn’t help but wonder what they were doing now. Was Blake still touching Ethan? Was Ethan angry that Beau had left?
Knowing he wouldn’t get the answers to any of his questions tonight, Beau put the truck in Reverse and backed out of the driveway.
Driving away was honestly the hardest thing Beau had ever had to do.
Chapter Eighteen
“You need to go,” Ethan said adamantly, his blood pressure soaring from the anger that was building inside of him. Between Blake showing up and having the fucking nerve to use a key he’d clearly had made without Ethan’s knowledge and then Beau walking out, he wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t lose his shit right then and there.
“I want to talk.” Blake’s face showed absolutely no concern for the danger he might actually be in if he continued to push.
Unable to control himself, Ethan got up in Blake’s face until they were nose to nose. He didn’t touch him otherwise, fearing what he might actually do if he released the contempt he suddenly felt for this man. “You. Need. To. Fucking. Leave.” He spelled it out as clearly as he could.
That’s when Ethan’s world flipped upside down, and the anger erupted. When Blake gripped the back of Ethan’s neck and pulled him to him, their mouths pressing together, Ethan reacted in the only way he knew how. He shoved Blake. Hard.
“Don’t you ever fucking do that again,” he warned, taking several steps back.
“Why? Because of Beau? Are you feeling guilty now?”
“I have nothing to feel guilty about,” Ethan yelled. “Whatever you thought there was between us is over, Blake. Over.”
“No, it’s not,” Blake argued. “Not by a long shot. I love you, Ethan. I won’t let you go.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Ethan said, taking a deep breath and trying to calm his nerves. “I was never yours to begin with.”
“Then give me another chance. It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have walked out. I shouldn’t have quit. I’m only human, Ethan,” Blake pleaded. “One more chance.”
Not in this lifetime, Ethan thought to himself. There was no way he could go back. Not even if he wanted to. After what he’d shared with Beau that afternoon, Ethan wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to engage in meaningless sex ever again. Nine years were a long time to go without that intense thrill of being with someone that you cared about. He wasn’t making any promises, wasn’t going to get his hopes up, but what he felt with Beau… shit, what he felt when he was with Beau transcended anything he’d ever felt before. Even the naïve, young love he’d felt for Gavin.
These confusing emotions were enough to alter Ethan’s focus. To make him want things he swore he would never want again.
“You love me,” Blake said, taking a step closer.
“I never loved you,” Ethan said, his voice much calmer than before. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t like confrontation, and he damn sure wasn’t the type of person who wanted to put someone in their place, but with Blake, it wasn’t like he had much choice.
“Do you think fucking Beau is going to fix you?” Blake said snidely.
Ethan flinched. He knew it wouldn’t take long for Blake to get nasty.
“My personal life isn’t your business.” The statement wasn’t an effective argument, but Ethan didn’t want Blake talking about Beau.
“It always was before, remember? I was the man you fucked every night until you were too exhausted to move.”
It damn sure hadn’t been every night, but Ethan wasn’t going to try and prove that point.
“I know you care about me,” Blake said, his voice rising.
Ethan shook his head in denial, and then glanced at the floor. He hated doing this. Didn’t want to fight with Blake or anyone else. He didn’t want to be that guy. He had no intention of making Blake feel bad. “It’s not the same,” Ethan said.