“It just seems like we’re trying too hard.” God, she was doing a horrible job of explaining this. “Last night was mind-blowing. Better than anything we’ve done in a long time. But it didn’t have anything to do with being tied up.”
Sam allowed a small amount of disappointment to show when Logan wrapped his towel around his waist. He laughed at her, just as she hoped he would.
“What did it have to do with then?”
They stared at one another for a long moment before Sam finally said, “That man. It had to do with that man.”
Logan nodded, his eyes still fixed on her as he added, “You’re still interested in a threesome.”
It wasn’t a question, just a simple statement and to her surprise, Logan didn’t sound disappointed. Not that she really expected him to. They could create a spark between them alone just as well as when they were around others. That had never been an issue. But they both knew that what had transpired between them back when Luke and then Tag had been in their lives had been volatile.
“Yes,” she told him just to assure him that they were thinking the same thing. “I’m still interested in a threesome.”
Logan’s head tilted slightly, his eyes locked with hers. “Finish getting ready and we’ll talk some more.”
Sam wondered if he had something specific that he wanted to talk about or if he were just interested in digging deeper into her psyche. He did that. Logan liked to know everything she was thinking. If he had a concern, he confronted her about it.
Logan didn’t like her hiding from him and he made a point to remind her that she couldn’t keep herself from him. So, for the last couple of years, she’d grown accustomed to opening up to him. Especially when he questioned her openly.
Sam watched him disappear from the bathroom. She did need to finish getting ready or there wouldn’t be anyone left at the club for them to go see anyway.
Heading to her closet to get dressed, she thought back to the last part of their conversation last week.
“I need you to do something for me, Sam,” Logan said. “You need to think long and hard about what you want. If you want to pursue this BDSM stuff, I’m game. If you’d prefer to find a third for the future, I’m open to that too. I just need to know which you want more.
“Unfortunately, I think you’re going to have to make a choice here. I don’t see you getting both. And definitely not with Xander.”
Sam had agreed with him wholeheartedly. It was part of the reason she hadn’t pushed further at the time. She did need to give their situation some thought. And she’d done that. She’d actually done little else besides think about it.
Thoughts about what she’d seen that first night, thoughts about what she wanted, what she didn’t want, what she might want. It was all very confusing.
Rather than worry about Xander, or whether there might be a possibility for a threesome with him in her future – because she knew without a doubt that the man was in love with Mercedes – she had turned her focus to Logan. Her husband.
It all boiled down to the fact that whatever they decided to do would need to make them both happy.
If BDSM were something they could give a trial run, then maybe they should. But if Logan was doing this to placate her, or because someone else believed it might be what she wanted, they would need to sort that out ahead of time.
Sam wanted what Logan wanted. Pure and simple.
That was when the most important questions had come to her: Was she putting her desires before Logan’s? Was Logan doing the same with her? Had they somehow lost sight of what would make them both happy?
Since the very first time when Logan had introduced her to a threesome, she’d found out things about herself that she didn’t even know existed. And she craved those interactions as much as Logan did. Only they’d both shut down somewhere along the way because things hadn’t worked out the way she had expected.
That didn’t mean Sam wasn’t happy. She was. More so than she ever had been in her life. And with each passing day, Logan continued to teach her more and more about herself. Like just how much love she could have for one single human being.
There was no denying the fact that she enjoyed the exhilarating feeling of two men focused on her, the way Logan controlled her pleasure, even if he were just directing her.
She knew Logan enjoyed those times, as well.
But she also knew Logan didn’t develop emotional ties the way that she did. At least not with the two men who had previously participated in their sexual exploits. For him, it was about pleasure and she respected that. Just as he respected the fact that the casual interactions weren’t her thing.