“How long will you be gone?”
“A week.” It felt like he’d been gone too much lately. His little girl was growing more and more every day and every second he was away from her he felt like he was missing out on a milestone. He wanted to take her with him, to make Sierra go as well just so he could be with the two of them. He knew better than to want Luke to go along because the man wouldn’t do much of anything outside of his club.
Jealous much?
Cole had been feeling a strange envy lately, and he wasn’t even sure what he could relate it to. He wanted to think it had to do with the fact that they were all tired from long nights taking care of their little girl, but he was beginning to wonder. Cole wouldn’t trade one second with Hannah for anything in the world. He just wondered how she would feel as she got older. About him. About Luke. Would she equally see them as her father? Or would one of them get priority over the other? The thought always managed to depress him.
Letting the gloom bring him down wasn’t going to benefit anyone, certainly not him. The more he was pulled away from Hannah, the worse he began to feel.
“Would the two of you go with me?” Cole asked, suddenly wishing he could take the question back when he saw the concern in Sierra’s eyes.
“You know I wish we could,” Sierra stated, but he wasn’t feeling it.
Nodding his head in understanding, Cole glanced down at the perfect angel sleeping on his chest, kissing her downy soft hair and inhaling the sweet baby smell. He wasn’t going to push it. Not today.
“Do you know when Luke will be home?” Sierra questioned, standing to move over to the couch on the other side of the room. Cole felt her eyes on him, but he didn’t meet her gaze.
“I haven’t talked to him today.” Cole was under the impression that Luke was working to ensure that Trent and Xander understood who still owned and made the decisions for Club Destiny.
Although the two of them spent more time together as it pertained to the club before Hannah was born, that hadn’t been the case lately. Luke was working late nights and Cole was traveling back and forth across the state of Texas it seemed for Alex. Their schedules didn’t mesh for them to talk much lately, and when they did, it wasn’t usually much more than a few sentences at a time.
“Why don’t you go lay down? I’ve got her and will stay up with her until her next feeding,” Cole told Sierra. She wasn’t getting enough sleep he knew, and since this was one of those rare times when he wasn’t sleeping in a hotel room somewhere, he figured he’d give her a break.
Sierra smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Without saying a word, she nodded and disappeared into the bedroom.
Cole remained where he was until Hannah stirred a little while later, probably ready for her dinner. He was starving, but he wasn’t in the mood to eat, so he made his way to the kitchen to at least get her settled.
He couldn’t seem to get his mind to quiet as he thought about his conversation with Alex earlier that day. He had been telling the truth. He was ready to walk away from CISS because this wasn’t what he signed up for. Now that Dylan appeared to be out of the picture, for how long no one seemed to know, Cole wasn’t vested enough to want to take on either role.
He wondered whether he was just being overly emotional. There were plenty of reasons, work being one of the main ones. He wasn’t getting enough sleep, he wasn’t getting to spend enough time with Hannah for his own peace of mind, and besides sleeping in the same bed with Sierra and Luke at night, it seemed as though the three of them were once again drifting apart, just when he thought they’d managed to find their way back to one another.
“You ready for dinner, angel?” he asked Hannah as he reached into the refrigerator and pulled out one of the premade bottles. Sierra hadn’t been able to breastfeed because her milk never came in, so they had resorted to formula. He admittedly didn’t know much about the differences, but since they didn’t have a choice, he opted not to question it, especially after he’d seen the devastation in Sierra’s eyes when the doctor told her this was how it would have to be.
Hannah squirmed in his arms as he waited for the water on the stove to heat. Sierra had insisted that they heat the bottles by setting them in boiling water on the stove and checking them repeatedly rather than using the microwave. Again, another one of the baby things he would never have known about without Sierra’s guidance.
It didn’t take long for the bottle to warm, but by the time it was ready, Hannah had already moved on to a good mad. He smiled down at her, talking quietly as he tried to calm her before giving her what she wanted. Cole marveled at his little girl as he watched her eat with gusto. Just like her dad’s, he thought to himself.