Lucie didn’t respond, unsure what even to say to that. There were so many times that she had wished the same thing. Not about the events of the night because, if she were honest, she didn’t want to change the way that it happened. She just wished he had remembered so she didn’t have to spend the next five years wondering why it hadn’t been good enough for him to remember.
“That had been a really dark time for me,” Kane explained. “I’m not sure why that year was harder on me than the others, but I had a difficult time dealing with the anniversary of my brother’s death.”
Lucie didn’t move a muscle. Hell, she wasn’t even sure she was breathing. Her heart cracked wide open from the sadness she heard in his tone. She waited patiently for him to continue, trying not to disrupt whatever it was that caused him to open up to her. She had no idea Kane even had a brother, much less that he had died.
“It would’ve been his twenty-first birthday that year and drowning myself in alcohol had been the only way I knew to deal with the overwhelming loss that I felt.”
Lucie thought back to that night and the days preceding it. Kane had been indulging quite a bit more than he normally did from what she remembered. In fact, these days, she rarely saw him drink anything more than a beer. She hadn’t thought anything of it.
“How did he die?” she asked, immediately wishing she had kept her mouth shut. Kane didn’t move, nor did he answer her for several seconds, or maybe it was minutes. Lucie wasn’t sure, but she didn’t breathe during that time.
“Drunk driver.” Those two words broke through the otherwise silent bathroom, aside from the gentle hum of the motor from the tub jets.
“Oh, Kane,” Lucie’s heart leapt into her throat, “I’m so sorry.”
“He was the drunk driver,” Kane stated firmly, his tone no longer sad.
Lucie detected the underlying anger mingling with the agony she imagined he felt. “He was only sixteen years old, for chrissakes! He was so damn smart; it still boggles my mind why he would do something so stupid.”
Lucie couldn’t help but think back to that night when she had driven Kane home from the club. Had she not intervened, she knew he would’ve gotten behind the wheel drunk. She didn’t want to think about what might’ve happened if she hadn’t been there to stop him.
“Thankfully no one else was hurt. He wrapped his car around a tree. They said he was killed instantly and that his blood alcohol level was more than triple the legal limit.”
Lucie’s heart went out to Kane and his mother for what they had to go through. She was saddened by the fact that Haley would never get to meet her uncle. Kane’s loss explained so much about that night and the way he had treated her. Still, she didn’t see it the same way that he did. He hadn’t hurt her, and never once had she thought he would.
“I love you, Kane,” Lucie said quietly after several long silent minutes. She hadn’t expected to say the words aloud, although her heart was consumed with the love she felt for him.
Kane still didn’t move, but she was almost positive she felt his hands tighten against her stomach.
Maybe it was too soon for her to say the words, but she couldn’t take them back now. She didn’t want to. Even if he didn’t feel the same for her, Lucie needed him to know just what he meant to her. After Haley had surprised them both by calling him daddy earlier in the evening, she was pretty sure he was overwhelmed enough already. Thinking about his brother probably didn’t help either.
At least that’s what she was going to tell herself. There was no way she could accept that he didn’t feel the same for her. Not until she got home where she would be able to fall apart without him looking on.
Chapter Eleven
The next few days flew by without incident. Kane, Haley, and Lucie spent their days down at the beach, soaking up the sun. He even managed to coax Haley into the water a time or two, although it was obvious his daughter wasn’t a water lover like he was. The highlight of the week though had been the whale watching tour. He wasn’t sure who had been more excited, Haley or Lucie.
They were on their last full day of their vacation and Kane had a surprise for Lucie. Any minute now, his mother was going to arrive to spend the day with her granddaughter, which meant he had the opportunity to spend some alone time with Lucie.
After the first night they were there, Kane had been on emotional overload. Between Haley calling him daddy, which she continued to do every time she spoke to him, making him beam with pride without even knowing it, and Lucie telling him she loved him, Kane was beside himself. Overwhelmed with so much love for these two girls he had come to claim as his own.