Maybe the weapons should have made me feel safer. Instead, it made me even more frightened. Made the whole situation more real.
“Do I not get a say in this at all?” My voice sounded shrill. “Because I don’t agree. We’re going.”
JC put a hand on my upper arm. “I’m not taking you away from your life, Gwen. And I’m not leaving you. The matter is settled.”
I brushed him away and ran to Drew’s side. “Tell him he’s wrong. Tell him he’s making a mistake.”
“I’m afraid I can’t. We offer witness protection for those afraid of testifying. We can’t force someone into the program if they don’t want to go.” He stood and directed his attention to JC. “If you’re officially declining—”
JC cut in. “Which I am.”
“Then we’ll be going. You know how to reach me if you change your mind.” Drew nodded at JC then gave me a tight smile before making his exit.
I stood gaping, astounded and pissed and scared. JC ran through introductions with the men that remained. I did my best to smile—it probably wasn’t the best idea to piss off the people who were protecting me from harm—but I couldn’t manage to do more than that.
As the names were told to me, I recognized two of them as the ones Dom mentioned on the Fourth of July. We’d had bodyguards watching us for that long, and I’d never had a clue. In some ways, I understood why JC hadn’t told me. It wasn’t something I wanted to deal with even now that I had to. He’d read me right, but just because he understood that about me didn’t mean that he’d acted appropriately in keeping me in the dark.
Goddammit, I was so mad! And hurt. And in love with this lying jackass. Which meant there wasn’t anything I could do about the situation because he’d chosen to stay in town, and I was bound to him wherever he was.
“We’ll move our watch in closer,” Dom said as he was leaving. “I’ll have two men assigned at all times on rotations of three instead of just the one from afar. One man inside the building, another out. First tight shift will start at oh-eight hundred hours.”
“Thanks, man.” JC clapped him on the back, and the team departed, leaving only JC and Norma and me.
I hugged myself, trying as hard as I could to not completely fall apart and not succeeding. My eyes were watery, and I refused to look at him even though I felt his gaze pinned on me.
“Gwen…” he said softly, and I couldn’t help myself—I looked up. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you. Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it.”
He took a step toward me, arms outstretched. “I do mean it.”
I backed away. “Why exactly are you sorry then? If it’s for not listening to reason, then it’s not too late to call Drew back and say you’ll accept.”
JC’s features softened, and, for a second, I thought he might be considering my suggestion. But he said, “I’m sorry that you don’t agree. I’m sorry that you don’t think that I can keep us protected without them.”
“Little good your sorry is worth if you’re dead.” I headed toward the door, careful not to touch him as I passed.
Then I remembered something else. I spun back toward him. “Who else did you spy on, JC?” If I had to play his game, he’d have to play by my rules. And rule number one was transparency. “What was so important that you had to maintain your own protection team?”
As before, he glanced at Norma, and this time I didn’t think it was just out of commiseration.
“Why do you keep looking at her?” I turned to my sister. “What do you know, Norma?”
Her eyes widened, as if she’d been caught, but all she said was, “It’s not mine to tell.”
“But you know something he’s keeping from me?”
Behind me, JC let out a frustrated huff. “I’m not keeping anything from you that you didn’t want me to keep from you.”
I threw my hands in the air, tired of the constant circles. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Can you just give me a straight answer?”
“It means that you said you didn’t want to have anything to do with your father.” He gestured at Norma. “So, together, we decided not to tell you that I’d found him.”
My eyes widened in shock. “You know where my father is?” He nodded once. “How long have you known?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Since I left town. I tried to tell you—at the fireworks—but you didn’t want to talk about him. And then the next day you said you didn’t want to have any connection with him at all.”