The envelope is all thick and creamy white and has a crest on the back with a Latin motto. I always forget how totally grand Suze is. When she sent us a Christmas card it was a picture of her husband Tarquin’s castle in Scotland with FROM THE CLEATH-STUART ESTATE printed inside. (Except you could hardly read it because her one-year-old, Ernie, had covered it with red and blue fingerpaints.)
I tear it open and a stiff card falls out.
“It’s an invitation!” I exclaim. “To the christening of the twins.”
I gaze at the formal, swirly engraving, feeling a slight pang. Wilfrid and Clementine Cleath-Stuart. Suze has had two more babies and I haven’t even seen them. They must be about two months old by now. I wonder what they look like. I wonder how Suze is doing. So much has been going on without us.
I turn the card over and see that Suze has scrawled a message.
I know you won’t be able to come, but thought you’d like it anyway… Hope you’re still having a wonderful time!All our love, SuzexxxPS Ernie loves his Chinese outfit, thank you so much!
“It’s in two weeks,” I say, showing Luke the card. “Shame, really. We won’t be able to go.”
“No,” agrees Luke. “We won’t.”
There’s a short silence. Then Luke meets my eye. “I mean… you’re not ready to go back yet, are you?” he says casually.
“No!” I say at once. “Of course not!”
We’ve been traveling for only ten months, and we planned to be away for at least a year. Plus, we’ve got the spirit of the road in our feet now. Maybe we’ll never be able to go back to normal life, like sailors who can’t go back and live on the land.
I put the invitation back in its envelope and take a sip of my drink. I wonder how Mum and Dad are. I haven’t heard much from them recently. In fact, the last time I called home, they both seemed a bit distracted. Mum hardly listened to my story about the elephant orphanage, and before I could ask Dad how he did in the golf tournament, he said he had to go.
And little Ernie will be walking by now. I’m his godmother and I’ve never even seen him walk.
Anyway. Never mind. I’m having amazing world experiences instead.
“We need to decide where to go next,” says Luke, leaning back on his elbows. “After we finish the yoga course. We were talking about Malaysia.”
“Yes,” I say, after a pause. It must be the heat or something, but I can’t actually get up much enthusiasm for Malaysia.
“Or back to Indonesia? Up to the northern bits?”
“Mmm,” I say noncommittally. “Oh look, a monkey.”
I cannot believe I’ve gotten so blasé about the sight of monkeys. The first time I saw those baboons in Kenya I was so excited I took about six rolls of film. Now it’s just, “Oh look, a monkey.”
“Or Nepal… or back to Thailand…”
“Or we could go back,” I hear myself saying out of nowhere.
How weird. I didn’t intend to say that. I mean, obviously we’re not going to go back yet. It hasn’t even been a year!
Luke sits up straight and looks at me.
“Back back?”
“No!” I say with a little laugh. “I’m just joking!” I hesitate. “Although…” There’s a still silence between us.
“Maybe… we don’t have to travel for a year,” I say tentatively. “If we don’t want to.”
Luke passes a hand through his hair, and the little beads on his plaits all click together.
“Are we ready to go back?” he says.
“I don’t know.” I feel a little thrill of trepidation. “Are we?”
I can hardly believe we’re even talking about going home. I mean, look at us! My hair’s all dry and sun-bleached, I’ve got henna on my feet, and I haven’t worn a proper pair of shoes for months.
An image comes to my mind of me walking down a London street in a coat and boots. Shiny high-heeled boots by L.K. Bennett. And a matching handbag.
Suddenly I feel a wave of longing so strong I almost want to cry.
“I think I’ve had enough of the world.” I look at Luke. “I’m ready for real life.”
“Me too.” Luke takes my hand and weaves his fingers between mine. “I’ve been ready for a while, actually.”
“You never said!” He seemed so into it! I’ve never had an inkling he’s been bored.
“I didn’t want to break up the party. But I’m certainly ready.”
“You would have kept traveling… just for me?” I say, touched.