As I pass a gorgeous little stone cottage I notice a curtain twitching and someone peering out at me. I suppose I do look a teeny bit conspicuous with my red and lime green suitcases. My wheels are trundling noisily on the road, plus my hatbox is banging up and down with every step I take. As I walk past a bench, two old ladies in print dresses and cardigans eye me suspiciously and I can see one pointing to my pink suede shoes. I give them a friendly smile and am about to say “I got them at Barneys!” when they get up and shuffle off together, still glancing back at me. I take a few more strides along the street, then stop, panting slightly.
It’s quite hilly, isn’t it? Not that there’s anything wrong with hills. This isn’t a problem for me at all. But even so, I might just take a few moments to admire the countryside and get my breath back. The taxi driver offered to take me to the door, but I told him I’d rather walk the last bit, just to steady my nerves. I’m starting to feel a bit jittery about seeing Jess again, which is ridiculous because I had hours on the train to prepare.
I even ended up getting some expert help! I’d popped into the train bar and ordered a Bloody Mary — just for a bit of Dutch courage — and there was a whole group of Shakespearean actors, swigging wine and smoking, on tour with Henry V. We got to chatting and I ended up telling them the whole story and how I was off to try and reconcile with Jess. And they all got quite stirred up. They said it was just like King Lear, and ordered Bloody Marys all round, and insisted on coaching me in my speech.
I’m not sure I’ll do every single thing they suggested. Like calling myself a “wretched wench.” But a lot of their tips were really helpful! For example, never upstage your fellow actor, which means never stand so they have to turn away from the audience. They all agreed this was the worst possible thing I could do to my sister, and if I did, there would be zero chance of a reconciliation and frankly they wouldn’t blame her. I pointed out there wouldn’t be an audience, but they said nonsense, a crowd would gather.
The wind is blowing my hair all over the place, and I can feel my lips getting chapped by the strong northern air, so I get out my lip salve and put some on. Then, with a twinge, I reach for my mobile phone for the millionth time to see if Luke has called and I’ve somehow missed it. But there’s no signal at all. We must be out of the area. I stare for a minute at the blank little display, my heart beating with stupid hope. If there’s no signal, maybe he’s tried to call! Maybe he’s phoning right this minute and he just can’t get through…
But deep down inside I know it’s not true. Six hours have gone by since he left. If he wanted to call, he would have called before now.
Our row has been echoing angrily round my brain all day. Luke’s harsh voice. The way he looked at me just before he left, so disappointed and weary. All the things he said. To my horror, tears suddenly start pricking at my eyes, and I furiously blink them back. I’m not going to cry. It’s all going to be OK. I’m going to make amends and turn into a new person and Luke won’t even recognize me.
Determined, I start wheeling my cases up the hill again, until I reach the corner of Hill Rise. I stop and peer along the gray stone terrace of cottages, stiff with apprehension. This is Jess’s road. She lives in one of these houses!
I’m reaching in my pocket to check the exact number when suddenly I notice a movement in an upstairs window a few houses along. I look up — and it’s Jess! She’s standing at the window, gaping down at me in utter astonishment.
Despite everything that’s happened between us, I feel a swell of emotion at the sight of her familiar face. This is my sister, after all. I start running up the street, my cases trundling behind me, my hatbox bouncing up and down. I reach the door, breathless, and am about to lift the knocker, when the door opens. Jess is standing in front of me in pale brown cords and a sweatshirt, looking aghast.
“Becky… what the hell are you doing here?”
“Jess, I want to learn from you,” I say in a wobbly voice, and lift my hands in supplication like the Shakespearean actors told me. “I’ve come to be your apprentice.”
“What?” She takes a step backwards in horror. “Becky, have you been drinking?”
“No! I mean, yes. A few Bloody Marys, maybe… but I’m not drunk, I promise! Jess, I want to be a good person.” The words come tumbling out in a rush. “I want to learn from you. And get to know you. I know I’ve made mistakes in life… but I want to learn from them. I’m sorry I didn’t listen before, but now I’m ready. Jess, I want to be like you.”