I blocked out everything and everyone as Jenny pulled us into the hallway. Evan opened the door to the back room and Jenny dragged us inside. Evan scanned the hallway for eavesdroppers, then stepped inside the room, closed the door, and guarded it, like Kiera and I were prisoners or something. The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me, and I just wanted to go home.
“Okay,” Jenny began as she released our hands. “What’s up?”
I started explaining what happened at the same time Kiera did. Jenny held her hands up. “One at a time.”
I was done with this entire conversation, even though it technically hadn’t begun yet. And what could either one of us really say right now anyway? If Kiera and I were going to discuss this, then we needed to do it alone. And I didn’t feel like being alone with her.
I shifted my angry eyes to Jenny. What was the point of being here? “We don’t need a mediator, Jenny,” I bit out, a dark edge to my voice. We can skirt around the problems between us just fine on our own, thank you very much.
With a look that clearly said she wasn’t bothered in the slightest by my tone, Jenny calmly said, “No? Well, I think you do. Half the people in there think you do.” She indicated the bar full of witnesses we’d left behind. Her expression shifted to a frown as she eyed me with trepidation. “I happen to know a thing or two about your fights. I’m not leaving you alone with her.”
Shock ran through me. She knew? If she knew about our fights…then she knew why we were fighting. She knew…everything. Kiera told her. Why in the hell would she do that?
I shifted my gaze to Kiera. “You told her…she knows?” Kiera shrugged. Her eyes flicked to Evan; he was still out of the loop. The only one in the room who didn’t know the truth. “Everything?” I asked her, still disbelieving. Our secret being out in the open made it all the more real, all the more horrible. And it had been bad enough before.
Kiera only shrugged again in answer. Her nonchalant attitude about it ticked me off even more. I’d kept my mouth shut, why the fuck couldn’t she? How hard was it to not tell people you were a tramp who’d screwed around on your boyfriend? Seems like that would be an easy thing to keep quiet about. Guess not.
Still stunned, I murmured, “Well…isn’t that interesting. And here I thought we weren’t talking about it.” My eyes shifted to Evan. He was still confused, that much was clear. Well, what the fuck did it matter now if he knew or not? What did anything matter anymore?
Since none of this seemed important at the moment, I decided to fess up to all of it. “Well, since the cat’s out of the bag, why don’t we all get on the same page?” With a dramatic flash of my hands, I indicated Kiera while I told Evan, “I fucked Kiera…even though you warned me not to. Then, for good measure, I did it again!”
“Kellan, stop swearing,” Jenny scolded, while Evan told me, “Damn it, Kellan,” and Kiera screamed, “Shut the hell up!” Irritated at all of them, I glared at the room and added, “Oh…and I called her a whore!” If they were gonna be mad at me, they might as well be really angry.
Her hands clenching into fists, Kiera averted her eyes. “You’re such a prick!”
That got under my skin. If either of us was being a prick right now, that title went to her. I stared at her until she looked my way again. “A prick? I’m a prick?” I took a step toward her and Jenny placed a hand on my chest. “You’re the one who hit me! Again!” I showed her my face; I knew from the stinging there had to be a red mark on my skin.
Evan interrupted before Kiera could respond. “Jesus, man. What were you thinking…or were you?”
I snapped my eyes to him. He seemed really ticked at me. I didn’t care what he was at the moment though. I didn’t care about anything. Screw everyone. “She begged me; I’m only human.”
Kiera made a sputtering noise, like I’d just spouted a lie or something. I hadn’t. That was exactly what had happened. “You begged me, Kiera! Both times, remember?” I gestured at her and Jenny pushed me away. I felt like I was losing my mind. How did trying to do the right thing bite me in the ass so much? “All I did was what you asked. That’s all I’ve ever done—what you’ve asked!” I threw my arms out to my sides, not knowing what else to do anymore. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
“I didn’t ask to be called a whore!” she seethed.
She had a point, but I was too ticked to care. “And I didn’t ask to be hit again! Quit fucking hitting me!” Jenny told me to watch my language while Evan told me to calm down. I ignored them both; they weren’t supposed to be involved in this anyway.
That riled Kiera up. Eyes blazing, she spat out, “You did ask for it, prick! Since we’re sharing, why don’t you tell them what you said to me!” Kiera took a step toward me, and this time, Jenny held her back; her petite body was the only thing standing between our mutual rage.
“If you’d given me two seconds, I was going to apologize for that. But you know what…now I don’t! I’m not sorry I said it.” Pointing around Jenny at her, I added, “You were out of line! You just don’t like that I’m dating!”
She gave me an incredulous expression. “Dating? Screwing everything that walks isn’t dating, Kellan! You don’t even bother learning their names. That’s not okay!” With narrowed eyes, she shook her head and spat out, “You are a dog!”
I was what? Was she kidding me? I was just about to rip her a new one when Evan interrupted again. “She has a point, Kellan.”
Kiera and I both twisted to look at him. “What?” I felt like the blow to my head had jostled around some brain cells, and I was misunderstanding every word leaving every person’s mouth. There was no way Evan had just agreed with her. By the stern look on his face though, I knew I hadn’t misinterpreted anything. He thought I was a dog. Well, the truth was coming out left and right, wasn’t it? “You got something else to say to me, Evan?”
I backed away from Jenny and her hand fell from my chest. Evan’s expression became even harder as he stared me down. “Maybe I do. Maybe she’s right. And maybe, just maybe, you know it too.” I flinched at the truth in his words, and my own words froze up in my chest. Did Evan know what I was doing with all these random women? That I turned them into Kiera in my head? I didn’t see how he could possibly know that, but just the thought that he might sealed my mouth shut.
When I didn’t say anything, he added, “Why don’t you tell her why you’re so…free…with yourself? She might understand.”
Anger flashed up my spine. I was tired of people commenting on my life. It was mine. No one had the right to judge me on it but me. And I knew exactly what I was. “What the fuck do you know about it?” I snapped, taking a step toward Evan.
Evan’s face softened into sympathy. “More than you think I do, Kellan.”
I froze in place, unable to move. He wasn’t talking about Kiera. About my insane little fantasy where I turned every girl I touched into her. No…he was referring to something much deeper, much darker. I saw something in his eyes that I’d seen before…in Denny when he’d taken a blow for me. In Kiera, when I’d confessed how torturous my life had been with my parents. He knew. Fuck me, he knew. I had no idea how he’d found out…but Evan knew I sought comfort in sex because it was the only place I’d ever found it. He was calling me out, right now, but this was not something I wanted to talk about. Ever.
“Back off, Evan…I’m not asking. Back the fuck off.” I was about to snap, and if he pushed me right now, I’d take him with me.
Jenny reprimanded me on my language again, Kiera wanted to know what was going on, but all of my focus was on Evan. This is the moment, and the band is on the line. Drop it, Evan, before you ruin everything we’ve built.
Evan understood everything I wasn’t saying. With a sigh, he shrugged and said, “Whatever, man…your call.”
With a sniff, I minutely relaxed. He was dropping it. “Damn right it is.” Pointing my finger over all of them, I got us back to the topic that none of them had the right to chide me on. “How I date is none of your concern. If I want to screw this whole bar, you all—”
Kiera cut me off with a nasty screech. “You practically have!”
I matched her tone. “No! I screwed you!” In the sudden silence after my statement I heard Jenny sigh and Evan swear. My eyes never left Kiera though. Her cheeks were flushed and she was clenching her jaw so hard I could see the tension in her neck. When the room was quiet again, I told Kiera the truth. “And you feel bad about cheating on Denny.” I leaned over Jenny and she brought her hand to my chest again. “You feel guilty about having an affair, but you—”
“We are not having an affair! We made a mistake, twice—that’s it!”
My jaw dropped as I let out an exasperated exhale. Did she really believe that? “Oh, come on, Kiera! God, you are naïve. We may have only had sex twice, but we’ve most definitely been having an affair the entire time!”