I pulled her lips to mine, then rolled her over so her back was flush to my mattress. We had time before Denny was due home, and as long as she was mine, I was going to enjoy her.
After spending all day in bed with Kiera, it was difficult to leave her. Well, okay, it would have been difficult to leave her regardless, but our amazing afternoon together made it even harder. I wanted to freeze time so nothing between us would change. She had tears in her eyes when I said goodbye. I kissed her eyelids, assuring her that I’d see her at Pete’s. It was Friday after all, and I had a show to do. Life trudged on, whether we wanted it to or not.
When I got to Evan’s for rehearsal, everybody was already there. Matt looked over at me as I walked through the door. “Hey, Kell. Ready to rock?”
I nodded. We didn’t always practice on the nights we played at Pete’s, but I’d asked for a rehearsal tonight. “Let’s run through the new song again.”
Griffin slugged Evan in the shoulder. “This is ’cause of you, isn’t it? Some chick break your heart again?” He shook his head in disgust. “Freaking pansy. You won’t ever catch me mooning over some girl. Plenty of fish, bro. Plenty of fish.”
Evan gave him an amused smile, then raised an eyebrow at me. Like he’d predicted, the guys thought he was the reason behind the song. That worked for me.
While we played the song again, I thought about being wrapped in Kiera’s arms today. It was a perfect moment, and one I was afraid wouldn’t ever happen again. It was hard to imagine never again feeling that connection. It was also hard to imagine sharing her with Denny. The thought of her being intimate like that with him…it made me want to throw up. I pushed that dilemma from my mind. I didn’t want to deal with it yet.
After a quick rehearsal, we made our way to Pete’s. Denny’s Honda was in the parking lot. I was surprised to see it there, and I considered turning around and leaving. I couldn’t though; I had a job to do. Even though it was sooner than I would have liked, I knew I needed to eventually face him. We did live together, after all. I guess tonight was as good a night as any.
He greeted me at the door with a genuine smile; like Kiera, he hadn’t seen me much this week. “Hey, mate. You’ve been a ghost lately. Everything all right?”
I folded one arm around him in a brief hug. My chest was pounding with anxiety, my gut was churning with guilt, but I kept my expression warm and friendly. I could keep my feelings hidden when I needed to. “Yeah…just work stuff. It’s been a little crazy.” I have been such a bastard to you…
“Crazy is good,” Denny said as he started walking toward the band’s table. Heart in my throat, I followed him. “Anything in particular you’re working on?” he asked.
Loving your girlfriend.
I couldn’t tell if he was making small talk, or if he was curious for a different reason. Choosing to believe he was clueless about Kiera and me, I smiled and said, “Matt’s trying to get us lined up for a festival next year. And, on top of that, he wants to soundproof Evan’s loft so we can record a demo. It’s quite a process.”
Denny’s eyes widened, and I was a little proud of my misdirect. The best lies are based in truth. Then I remembered who I was lying to, and a knot of disgust roiled in my belly. I was such an asshole. “Yeah, I can imagine,” Denny said. “Sounds like you guys are on the right track. It won’t be long till you hit it big.”
I had to smirk at the notion of the D-Bags being “big” one day. Seemed like an amazing but improbable future to me, but it was just like Denny to believe we’d go far. He’d always supported and encouraged me. I wouldn’t even be in a band today if it weren’t for his interference, a fact that wasn’t lost on me. It amplified the sick feeling in my stomach.
A loud noise across the bar stole Denny’s attention, and I risked a peek at Kiera. She was staring my way, looking sad and full of longing, like she was forcing herself to stay put when all she really wanted to do was jump into my arms. I felt the same way. I’d been hoping for a little alone time at the bar with her, as much alone time as we got at Pete’s at any rate, but it was clear Denny wasn’t going anywhere. Kiera and I would both have to deal with this awkwardness.
When we were seated at the table, Denny gave me a calculating expression. It made my muscles tighten with tension. “What?” I asked, keeping my expression even.
“I know this isn’t any of my business, but…” He paused, and I could see the debate in his eyes. “Kiera’s sister…”
Sighing, I looked at the table. Oh good…he wants to talk about the fake story Kiera cooked up. That, I can handle. “Yeah…you know about that?”
Denny nodded. “Kiera told me that was why she hit you, which wasn’t cool on her part, but…neither was what you did, mate.” I looked up and made eye contact with him. I stayed silent, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. When he saw that I wasn’t going to be a dick, he added, “Kiera said you hurt Anna’s feelings when you never called her. If you didn’t want a relationship, you should have been honest with her from the beginning.”
I bit back a dark smile. Honest with her from the beginning? Yeah, that was a lesson I’d learned the hard way. Maintaining eye contact, I gave him a somber nod. He clapped my shoulder. “I don’t mean to scold you, it’s your life, but try to keep people’s feelings in mind, okay?” He lifted an eyebrow. “Trust me. I almost lost everything because I didn’t do that.”
He glanced over at Kiera and I forced myself to not turn and look at her. I felt like he’d just stuck a sword in my gut, then twisted it in a circle about five times. He almost lost everything…Had he? Only time would tell.
Since Denny was still clueless, I left the goodbye song out of the lineup. That was a last resort song—the end of the road—and Kiera and I weren’t there yet. We still had time, although I was feeling that time slip between my fingers with every passing second. I cast Kiera longing glances all throughout my set. I couldn’t help myself. Denny didn’t notice though. He was too busy watching Kiera with concerned eyes, like he knew something was wrong, he just didn’t know what it was.
Denny stayed until Kiera’s shift was over. I debated heading home while they were still here. If I followed after them, I would have to endure watching them walk into their bedroom together, and that would tear me up. While I gathered myself to leave, Jenny approached me.
“Kellan…what are you doing?” she whispered. Her gaze flicked to Kiera, and I knew she wasn’t talking about this exact second.
I sighed. “I don’t know. And if I knew how to get out of this without hurting anyone, believe me, Jenny, I would.” I raised my arms. “I honestly don’t know what to do.”
She frowned at my answer. “Then why get involved in the first place? She was happy with him, you shouldn’t have—”
“I didn’t mean to,” I interrupted.
She gave me a stern expression. “Didn’t mean to? He’s one of your best friends, Kellan. That’s an automatic stop sign, regardless of the circumstances. I know you don’t usually care about stuff like that, but…you should have known better.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Denny and Kiera leaving the bar. So much for beating them home. Not having any excuse worth giving, I merely said, “I know. But I’m an asshole, and I did it anyway, so…now what do I do?”
Jenny shook her head. “Now you tell him.”
My gut clenched at the thought of confronting him. How could I hurt him like that? He’d never look at me the same. I’m here for you, Kellan. I’ll always be here for you.
I took my time going home. I drove five miles under the speed limit. I made wrong turns that took me all over town, all in the hopes that Denny and Kiera would be sound asleep when I stepped through my door. I gave new meaning to the word “avoidance.”
Everything was quiet when I eventually made it home. Tiptoeing upstairs, I got ready for bed. How could we keep doing this while we all lived together? Easy…we couldn’t. The friction, tension, and jealousy would tear us apart. It had already strained us. Lying under my covers, I stared at the ceiling and waited for sleep to come. It didn’t…but something else did.
My bedroom door creaked open. Sitting up on my elbows, I watched Kiera slip through the crack, then shut the door behind her. What the hell was she doing here? She was resplendent in her clingy tank top and loose pajama bottoms. She seemed to glow in the silver moonlight, and her eyes were bright, with no trace of sleep in them. She’d waited up for me. Why?
Before I could question her, she slipped into my bed, wrapped her legs around mine and her arms around my neck. Her sudden weight on top of me knocked me back down to the pillows. She was with me again. “Am I dreaming?” I whispered as her lips closed the distance to mine. If I am, please don’t let me wake up.
As our lips moved together, I ran my hands up her back, tangled my fingers in her hair. “I missed you,” I murmured, deepening our kiss.
“I missed you too…so much.”