Denny’s cheeks reddened, just like my dad’s used to when he got really angry. I knew what he was going to do before he even moved to do it. Cocking his arm back, he twisted his body and threw his weight into a hit that landed on my jaw. Denny was strong, and the blow knocked me back a step. My jaw throbbed, my head started to pound, and I tasted blood in my mouth. Good. I deserved this.
When my vision stabilized, I straightened and faced him. I could feel warmth dribbling down my cheek as I spoke. “I won’t fight you, Denny. I’m so sorry, but we never wanted to hurt you. We fought against…We tried so hard to resist this…pull…we feel toward each other.” I hated the words coming out of my mouth. I hated the look on Denny’s face. I never wanted it to happen like this.
Denny clenched his fists. “You tried? You tried to not fuck her?” he yelled. He hit me again, on the cheek this time. My ears started ringing, but I still clearly heard him when he screamed, “I gave up everything for her!”
He pummeled me again and again. I let him. I did nothing to block his blows, did nothing to protect my body. After each hit, I faced him again, giving him another perfect target for his rage. I deserved every strike. I deserved the full force of his anger. And…if Denny was kicking my ass, then he was leaving Kiera alone. Better me than her.
“You promised me you wouldn’t touch her!”
He was right, I had. And I had shattered that promise like I had so many others before it. I’d wanted her, so I’d taken her. I was no friend to him, to anyone. And the really sad part was, it was all for nothing. She chose him. “I’m sorry, Denny,” I whispered, but I doubt he heard me. And what good was an apology from me anyway? It was a tiny patch on a gaping wound. Worthless.
I felt my strength fading, my vision dulling. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take Denny’s rage. But what did it matter anymore? What did anything matter anymore? I’d lost the only thing I’d ever wanted. I’d tasted love, then had it snatched away from me. I couldn’t go on living my empty, meaningless life. If I was destined to be alone, then it might as well end right here. I fell to my knees while Denny shouted, “I trusted you!” His knee connected with my chin, knocking me to my back.
Everything went black, and for a second, I thought I’d passed out. But I couldn’t be unconscious, because everything hurt—my head, my body, my heart. All of me was throbbing. Just kill me and get it over with.
Heavy blows from Denny’s boots met my exposed abdomen. I left my body open to him. Made it as easy as possible for him to hurt me. Every hit sent shock waves of pain throughout my body, but I welcomed it. I deserve this. I deserve worse than this.
A solid strike to my arm resulted in a sickening snap as Denny broke the bone, and acidlike pain radiated up my forearm and across my chest. Unable to contain the agony, I cried out and held my arm close to my body. Denny didn’t notice what he’d done. He only screamed, “You said you were my brother!”
Underneath the flood of pain, I felt nausea rising. Now, every kick Denny gave me jolted my arm, reigniting the painful break. I deserve this. I deserve more than this. Just finish me. I felt a rib break, maybe two, I had no idea. All I knew was pain. I really wasn’t going to survive this. Good. I didn’t want to go on without her. I wanted the pain to end.
Spitting out blood, I muttered, “I won’t fight you…I won’t hurt you…I’m sorry, Denny…” I deserve your rage. My life is yours…take it. In my daze of pain, I started repeating my words like a chant. Denny beat me the entire time I whimpered them. “I’m sorry…I won’t fight you…I’m sorry…I won’t hurt you.”
“You fucking piece of shit! You fucking pathetic, fucking selfish bastard! Your word is worthless! You are worthless!”
I turned my head away from him then. I know. I know I’m worthless. That’s why I’m not fighting you. I deserve this. “I’m sorry, Denny.” Don’t feel bad when this is over. You did the right thing.
“She is not one of your whores!” he screamed, ignoring my apology.
Denny paused in his attack, and I raised myself up onto my elbow. I was a little surprised I still could. My vision had only partly returned, and it wavered with darkness. My head throbbed, my arm was on fire, and I was bloody everywhere. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move. All I had left was pain. And the truth. And what Denny had just yelled wasn’t true. That wasn’t how it was at all. She was never a whore to me.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Denny, but I love her.” Every breath was agony, but telling Denny what I’d held in for so long filled me with joy. It felt good to confess. I might not make it through this, I might have lost her, but for one second, I had loved and been loved in return. My life was complete. Peace filled me as I shifted my eyes to Kiera. She was frozen in shock with tears streaming down her cheeks. She’d never been more beautiful. Maybe what we’d done was wrong, but we’d loved with all our hearts, and no one could take that away from us. Not Denny, not fate, not life. Nothing mattered from here on out, because I had already reached the pinnacle of bliss. Someone had loved me. “And she loves me too.” We’ll be together forever in my dreams…
I tuned Denny out. It didn’t matter what he did to me. I wanted to memorize every line on Kiera’s face, every expression in her color-shifting eyes. If tonight was my last night on earth, I wanted to spend it staring at her. It’s okay, Denny. Do what you will…I’m ready.
Kiera’s gaze shifted from me to Denny, then back to me. She looked terrified. I wanted to tell her everything was okay, I was at peace, but she moved before I could focus long enough to say the words. My mind couldn’t keep up with what she was doing. She screamed, “No!” then tackled me. I looked up at Denny just in time to see his boot connect with Kiera’s temple.
No! It was supposed to be me…
“Kiera!” My mouth felt full of marbles, and my vision hazed in and out, but that was nothing compared to the sight of Kiera slumped on the ground beside me, motionless.
The blow she’d taken in my place had flung her away from me, and her hair was covering her face. I had no idea if she was okay or not. Adrenaline gave me strength, and I scrambled to get closer to her. Please be okay. I was scared to touch her, scared to move her. What was the rule about head injuries? I had no fucking clue.
By the time I had pulled myself around to where I could look at her more closely, Denny was on his knees at her side. “Kiera?” he said, shaking her shoulders.
“Don’t,” I muttered, “you could make it worse.”
He looked up at me, his eyes wide. “Is she okay? Please tell me she’s okay. Jesus, she’s bleeding…there’s so much blood. Kellan, is she okay? Did I…? What did I do to her?”
By the paleness of his cheeks and the frantic look in his eye, I knew he was losing it. Ignoring him, I focused on Kiera. “Baby?” I whispered, moving her hair away from her eyes so I could see her. “Tell me you’re okay…please.” She still didn’t respond, and I could see that Denny was right about the blood. The ground beneath her head was so sickly red it looked black. Fuck. Cringing in pain, I held my cheek next to her mouth. Let me feel a breath…don’t let her be dead. I can’t handle a world where she’s dead. It was supposed to be me. Why did she do that?
I felt like I waited an eternity to feel…something…and when I finally did, I exhaled in relief. “She’s breathing,” I told Denny. “It’s faint, but it’s there.”
“We have to call for help. She needs a doctor, a hospital…we need to call an ambulance.” He ran his hands back through his hair. His knuckles were torn and bloody from repeatedly hitting my face.
I knew time was of the essence, but I also knew that Denny would be in serious shit for this…especially if she died. Fuck, please don’t let her die. “You need to leave. Now,” I told him. Caring more about stopping the bleeding than any potential damage I could do to her head, I pulled Kiera into my lap the best I could with one good arm, and then held the bottom part of my shirt against the sticky section of her skull. My shirt instantly darkened.
Denny’s eyes went wide as he watched me. “No…I’m staying with her.” There was a trace amount of jealousy in his voice, but we didn’t have time for that right now. This wasn’t about us at the moment.
Irritated and scared, I snapped out, “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something? Your stupid ass will go to jail if you stay here. Do you fucking understand me? You beat the living shit out of me, and…your girlfriend is…”
I couldn’t finish, and Denny didn’t let me. “I’m not leaving her side.”
Seeing the blood stain growing on my shirt, I yelled, “Yes, you fucking are! You will get hauled off and locked away, and your career will be over! Is that what you fucking want? Is that what you think Kiera would fucking want?” I spat a wad of blood from my mouth to emphasize my point. “Now quit arguing with me and get the fuck out of here!”