Anne was finally still. At the end, she’d been exhausted, running on nerves, and hadn’t sat until he’d brought Bronx in. Then she’d dropped down onto the couch to hug the ecstatic dog.
The woman had so much love to share.
Bronx was still sprawled over her lap as if he couldn’t stand to let her out of touching range.
Ben knew the feeling. Good thing there was enough room for another person on the couch. After handing over the sparkling water, he sat down and pulled her close.
At one time, he’d have taken the liberty of lifting her onto his lap.
Times changed. The sense of loss filled him again. Damn but he’d missed holding her. She felt like a part of him, like the sun in his sky. “Ready to talk?”
Her shoulders curved inward slightly, as if she wasn’t sure she could bear what he might say.
He felt the same. She could break him far too easily.
Stalling, he took a drink of his cold lager for reassurance. She hadn’t thrown out his beer. And she’d said she loved him. His voice came out hoarse. “Where should we start?”
She met his gaze with her level, honest eyes. “I’m sorry, Ben.”
She wasn’t going to give them a chance, was she? She didn’t think love was enough to overcome the differences? Heart sinking, he bit back his protest.
After a moment, he managed to clear his throat. “I am, too. I’d hoped you’d give us a chance.”
Her brows drew together and then she shook her head and half laughed. “We’re good at miscommunication, aren’t we?” Her shoulder rubbed against his chest as she took his hand, her grip firm and warm. “What I meant is that I’m sorry you misunderstood that business with Joey. Uzuri said you thought I was taking Joey back because I was staring at him.”
“I…yeah.”
“That wasn’t what was happening. Actually, I’d totally zoned out and was thinking about you.”
His brain was having trouble keeping up.
“I’ve already found Joey a couple of Dommes who will suit him better.”
Jessica had been right. Damn. Ben felt as if he’d been pushing a boulder uphill and reached the top without realizing. After a few thousand seconds, he caught up. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.” He stared at the window, out at the black water, seeing the faint rim of white on the waves like a touch of hope.
But he needed to clear away the past first. He took her hand. “You weren’t even tempted to go back to Joey?”
“Not even. Our needs don’t mesh any longer, although I didn’t want to admit how much I’d—”
“Changed?”
She made a tiny growl. “There’s that word again. You know how I feel about change.”
He snorted. “Pretty much how most people feel about necrophilia.”
She gave a startled laugh and leaned into him more fully. Fuck, yeah. He released her hand and lifted her onto his lap. Bronx gave him a disgruntled look
But this was where she belonged. She fit perfectly in his arms.
“But yes, as my anger at men died, so did my enjoyment of hurting them.” Her hand curved around his jaw firmly enough to give him a surge of pleasure. “I’m still quite, quite fond of domination, though.”
“I never doubted that for a moment, Ma’am.” He considered her confession—because that was what it sounded like. He grinned, remembering how she’d said once that her anger had started with God for not making her male, expanded to her father, brothers, uncles, grew to include the government for not allowing women in combat, and on and on. “So, you took out your annoyance on those poor helpless slaves?”
Her frown stopped just short of a scowl. “So it seems. I’m not happy that I used them that way.”
Raoul hadn’t thought her motivation was unusual. He shrugged. “Seems as if everyone has a shitload of reasons for doing what they do—from getting up in the morning to pounding on someone. You never dished out anything that the slaves didn’t love and beg for.”
“Until you.”
He pulled her closer, kissing the curve between her shoulder and neck. “I’ve liked everything you’ve done to me.”
“Just not full time.”
“Not full time.” His arms tightened. “Anne, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I should’ve given you a chance to explain.”
“This is very true.” Tears shimmered in her eyes before she blinked them away. Her tone turned judicious. “I’m afraid I’ll need to punish you for that. Bear it in mind as we talk.”
The way his cock shot to full arousal, it was liable to sprain something.