“And you’re being a selfish asshole.”
I stare at Max in disbelief just as my phone pings with a text.
Addie:
Kat says you were worried about me. I’m okay. I’m sorry that you were worried. Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?
“First of all, five years ago was an accident. It wasn’t your fault, but you’ve convinced yourself that it was. So the band broke up, which I don’t have too much resentment over anymore. I mean, we probably would have broken up at some point anyway, and this writing and producing gig is awesome.
“But you’ve become a hermit. And Addie was bringing you out of that. You deserve to be loved, you know.”
I shake my head, but he interrupts me before I can speak. “You do. Everyone does. You deserve to fall in love and have a dozen babies and do what you love. If you love to sing for a couple hundred people every weekend in a pretty cool restaurant, then do it.”
I don’t respond. I simply nod and stand and walk out of the studio. I need some time in the pool.
I need Addie. Everything in me is screaming at me to go find her, to hug her and make sure that she’s really safe and whole.
But Addie doesn’t need me.
Chapter Fifteen
Addison
“It’s going to be another stellar day in Portland, Bill.”
“Indeed it is, Shelley.”
I glance out the window and smile at the sunshine. The newspeople are right; it’s going to be another beautiful day in Portland.
I reach my arms high above me, stretching, and then bend over to touch my toes. Even in heels, I can touch my toes.
Not bad, if I do say so myself.
I feel great today. I slept like the freaking dead, although I would have slept better if I’d been wrapped around a certain sexy rock star, but I think it was good to have a night away from each other. My chat with Cici helped a lot. I know that there will be times that we get on each other’s nerves, but we’re just human. It happens.
And whether I like it or not, he’s a celebrity, and there will be times that he’s gone, around other famous people, and photos will be taken. The press is a son of a bitch who likes to start rumors, and I need to learn to trust.
Because I don’t really believe that he’d hurt me. Not on purpose.
In fact, I miss him. I reach for my phone, but stop with my thumb hovering over his name. What am I going to say? I’m sorry seems trite.
But I am sorry.
Just as I’m about to tap on his name, the doorbell rings, and I can’t help but smile and rush to the door, butterflies taking flight in my belly.
I hope it’s Jake.
I’m not disappointed when I fling the door wide open. He’s leaning on the jamb, and when his eyes meet mine, I see relief in their green depths.
I grip his hand in mine and pull him inside, then launch myself into his arms, holding him tightly around the neck.
“I was just about to call you! Jake, I’m so sorry for yesterday. I totally overreacted. I think I was thrown off and irritated by Jeremy showing up, and then you surprised me, and I really just reacted poorly.” I kiss his cheek and bury my face in his neck. God, he feels so damn good. “But I talked with Cici for a while yesterday and she helped me come to my senses. Sometimes I just let my emotions get the best of me. I’m sorry.”
I kiss his neck and wiggle even closer to him, soaking up his warmth and his clean, amazing scent. “I’m really sorry you thought I was a part of that accident. From now on, I’ll keep my ringer on.”
He suddenly stiffens against me, and it occurs to me that he hasn’t said a single word since he got here.
“Are you okay?”
“No.” He grips my shoulders in his hands and sets me away from him, then walks to my window, facing away from me. He shoves his hands in his pockets. “No, Addie, I’m not okay.”
“Is this about yesterday?”
I frown and watch him as he stands perfectly still. He’s not looking at me. He’s completely closed off. He simply shakes his head no and sighs.
“Are you not speaking to me?” I ask incredulously.
He sighs again and turns to me now, looking at me with resigned, bloodshot eyes.
“Have you slept?” I ask, frowning.
“No,” he replies.
“Why not?”
His hands are still in his pockets. I walk to him, but he immediately walks away, out of my reach. “Why won’t you let me touch you?”
He shakes his head and sighs. “My life is busy, Addie.”
“All of our lives are busy, Jake.” He rubs his hand over his lips, then turns to me and all I see is a stranger. I don’t know this man staring at me with empty, emotionless eyes. “Are you saying you need time away from me? We have been spending a lot of time together—”
“I don’t want time away from you,” he whispers.
“I know you’re attracted to me.” Why is my voice shaking? And why do I want to beg him to stay? I fucking hate this!
“Look at you,” he murmurs, with a sad half smile, gesturing at my outfit. “That red blouse shows off your tits perfectly, without actually showing me your tits. How the fuck do you do that? Did you learn that from modeling?”
I simply nod.
“I thought so. But you’re beautiful no matter what you wear. You could wear a burlap sack and my dick would be clamoring for you.”
“Thanks. I think.”
Pure emotion is rolling off him in waves. “That’s not our issue at all, Addison.”
“What is our issue, Jake?” I approach him now, grip his shoulders, and look him in the eye.