“That’s not true, actually. We met on New Year’s Eve on a flight back from Paris. We had a delay, and well—” Jackson broke off, feeling guilty for saying anything. He would have to punch Michael if he thought anything bad about Alyssa.
“You met on New Year’s and bedded her,” Michael said with another glare.
“It wasn’t like that,” Jackson said, trying desperately to defend himself, but his brothers knew him well, and knew what he thought about women. They were for one purpose and one purpose only.
“Really? You suddenly had a change? You met her and talked all night? Didn’t have sex?”
Squirming a bit beneath his brother’s sarcastic questions, Jackson suddenly didn’t know what to say. Yes, it had started out the way it always did. But there’d been something different with her.
“Well, we did have sex, but before you jump all over me, let me explain. We talked. I mean, we really talked, Michael, like I haven’t talked to another woman. I found myself liking her. When I woke up the next day, she was gone, and I figured I’d never see her again, and then a few weeks ago, I walked in that bar and there she was,” Jackson said.
“Damn, Jackson. It sounds like you really are into this woman,” Michael said with wonder.
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I mean, I do like her, and I want to be with her, but I’m not into any woman,” Jackson said, immediately trying to backtrack.
“Okay, whatever. But still, none of that explains why you were in the baby section of a retail shop,” Michael said, not buying Jackson’s words even a little bit. Their waitress set down their food and then disappeared as Jackson tried to think of his next words.
“She’s pregnant. About five months pregnant, and I know the fact that’s she’s pregnant should scare the shit out of me and have me running for the hills, but I can’t get this woman from my head. It’s just a baby—it’s not like that changes things.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Michael looked at him silently for several heartbeats before he began guffawing. “Did you honestly just say that? Really, Jackson? And people think you’re the smart one . . .” he said in between fits of laughter that had Jackson clenching his teeth.
“What in the hell do you find so funny?” Jackson had lost all appetite, so he ignored the food in favor of chugging his beer.
“A baby changes everything, you dumb ass. They are messy and demanding, and the world revolves around them. Don’t you remember?” Michael instantly stopped and his laughter died. No one ever talked about Jackson’s daughter. It was just too painful to bring up.
“Yes, I remember,” Jackson said, a deep sadness forever locked inside him. Instead of replying to what Michael had said, he went off on another tack. “But I think I’m moving on. Really moving on. I will never forget Olivia. She was my beautiful girl. I just realize that I have to let her go.”
“I’m glad you’re healing, Jackson. Truly, I am,” Michael said as he reached out a hand and patted Jackson’s shoulder before he leaned back. “But you can’t play games with a pregnant woman. If you’re not thinking about forever, you have no business being with her.”
Jackson knew deep down that his brother was right, but if he said those words aloud, admitted the truth of that statement, that would mean he’d have to walk away from Alyssa, didn’t it? Because he was in no way ready to admit to deeper feelings for the woman other than lust. To admit to that would mean he was weak, would mean that Alyssa had the power to hurt him.
He couldn’t do that. Michael remained silent while Jackson spent several moments thinking about what he wanted to say next. He was grateful when the waitress came and handed each of them another beer, giving him an extra few seconds.
“I’m not trying to hurt her. She’s fine,” Jackson finally said, not knowing if he was trying to convince Michael or himself.
“I’m not going to rag on you, Jackson. We both know you’ve been through your share of hell. Just don’t forget that she’s a real person. She’s not another one of your one-night stands. This woman is going to be a mother and she deserves more respect than some girl who knows the score.”
“I’m not disrespecting her, Michael.”
“If you’re offering her anything less than marriage, that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“But I’m offering to take care of her.”
“That’s not enough, Jackson. I have a feeling that Alyssa isn’t too keen to accept that offer. Am I right?”
“She’s been less than accepting, but I know she’s happy to see me when I visit.”
Michael raised his brow as if calling Jackson on his crap. “Really?” That one word was filled with meaning.
“Okay, she may not thank me profusely, but a man can tell when a woman is into him or not. I can see that she wants me,” Jackson insisted.
“There’s a difference between wanting someone and wanting to be with them.” Why in the hell did Michael have to point that out?
Jackson didn’t feel any better after he and Michael talked. They turned the subject matter to more superficial topics, and by the time Jackson dropped Michael off at his truck, he still didn’t know what he should do.
On the long drive back to Sterling, he had plenty of time to think, though. By the time he found himself pulling up in front of Alyssa’s place, he still didn’t know what he was going to say. So instead of going inside, he restarted his truck and drove home.
Maybe it was best if he just left her alone. But Jackson just wasn’t sure if he was capable of doing that. He had a feeling he was already too involved to back out. It wasn’t something he was ready to do. But absence made the heart grow fonder, right? Hell, he didn’t know.
“You have another delivery,” Teresa trilled as she entered the bedroom with a package.
“Can you open it, Mom?” Jackson hadn’t been by in several days and she hated to admit, even to herself, how much she missed him, but she did. Getting a package from him wasn’t the same thing as seeing him. Maybe he didn’t want to see her anymore. She should be happy about that, but sadly, she wasn’t.
“I’d love to.” Her mother sat down at the foot of her bed and opened the box.
When her mom smiled and then paused before taking out the item, Alyssa wished that she’d just dealt with the box herself.