Who was he fooling, wondering what would happen if he allowed himself to love the child? Whether that little girl was his or not, her loss would devastate him. He’d been with her every day since she’d been born, held her in his arms, sat by her side as she struggled to survive.
He was already invested in her life, and whether she carried his blood or not, her loss wouldn’t be something he could get through easily. Yes, he loved his little Angel. So what did he do now?
Was he going to demand that Alyssa give him parental rights? Of course he was. The girl was his child, too. He deserved to be a part of her life. Was there any possibility that Alyssa was now lying to him? As Jackson thought about that, he knew with certainty that Angel was his daughter. Maybe he had known all along. Maybe he’d been just as afraid of voicing the question as she had been of telling him. Why hadn’t he asked? Why hadn’t he pushed her to tell him who Angel’s father was? The longer he sat there and thought about that, the more his heart thudded.
Angel was his daughter.
“What are you doing out here, Jackson?”
He looked up to find Spence walking toward him. His brother hadn’t yet changed into his scrubs, and he was wearing a pair of old jeans and a worn sweatshirt and carrying a can of soda in his hand. Looking at him as he jumped up onto the tailgate of the truck and sat next to Jackson, no one would ever realize he was a wealthy surgeon.
“I don’t know,” Jackson answered.
“You look upset. I know baby Gerard is fine.”
“I really appreciate your sticking around and taking care of her,” Jackson said.
“She’s important to me. I want to ensure she makes it.”
That’s the kind of man Spence was. He truly cared about his patients, big or small. Yes, Spence could be an ass at times, but he was one of the best men Jackson knew. Jackson felt blessed to have him for a brother.
“I’m a father again, Spence.” Just like that, he blurted out the words. Saying them aloud made it all so much more real. “I’m a dad.” His voice held awe as he spoke it again.
Spence was quiet as he swigged his soda, taking his time before he spoke. He didn’t ask who the baby was. It was more than obvious Jackson was speaking of Alyssa’s baby.
“So, you asked Alyssa to marry you?” Spence asked.
“Not yet. I just found out I’m a dad,” Jackson said, as if the reality was still sinking in.
“Wait. I don’t think I quite understand. You feel like a father because you love this woman and baby and plan on being her father?”
Of course his brother was looking confused. Yes, Jackson had made it clear that he’d met Alyssa before, but he’d only told Spence a couple of months ago, on that night he’d met Alyssa again at the bar. He hadn’t said when; he hadn’t explained they’d slept together.
“No. I mean that Alyssa and I met on New Year’s, had spectacular sex, and then she walked away from me, and I found her again very much pregnant.”
Spence’s mouth dropped, but he recovered quickly. He couldn’t speak for a few moments. Jackson waited, wondering whether his brother would call him on being such an idiot. He should have known better.
“Congratulations. I will make sure your daughter has a long, healthy life.”
Yes, Jackson had told the right person first.
“What do I say to Dad?” Jackson asked.
He suddenly felt as if he were five years old and had done something wrong. He’d gotten a woman pregnant without being married to her. Hell, a woman he’d met in an airport. But his worries fled quickly. He knew that his father wouldn’t be upset over having a granddaughter. He’d be ecstatic. Martin had doted on Jackson’s first daughter during her brief life and had been just as devastated as Jackson when her life had been taken.
“You say congrats,” Spence replied as he finished his can of soda and crushed it, then tossed it into the bed of the truck.
“Yeah, I guess that’s a start,” Jackson said, and he flashed his first smile since finding out about his daughter.
“What are you going to do?”
Jackson wasn’t a fool. He knew his brother was asking whether he was going to marry Alyssa. They had a child together. Jackson knew there was no other option other than to marry her. What surprised him was that he felt no panic. Yes, there was anger, and he knew there would be anger for a while longer, but there was no fear, no panic, and no feeling that he needed to run as far away as he could get.
“I will marry her.”
“Hey. Why so blue? You and Alyssa were made for each other. She’s a good woman.”
“She lied to me, Spence.” That was the short of it.
“Did she actually lie to you? Did she ever say to you, This isn’t your child?”
Jackson thought about it, thought about their conversations. No. No, she hadn’t lied outright, but she also hadn’t volunteered the information when he’d asked her.
“I made an assumption that it was someone else’s. She could have set me straight.”
“Maybe she should have told you the truth,” Spence began saying when Jackson gave him a solid glare. “Okay, okay, I’d be ticked about that, too. But you have a couple choices here, brother. You can hold a grudge against her, hold this over her head forever, and make both of your lives hell, or you can accept that she had her reasons. If your little girl was walking around and you’d missed out on years of her life, I’d be furious, but Alyssa did tell you now, when the child is only two weeks old. It’s not as if you’ve missed out on anything but four months of morning sickness, if you think about it—you were around for the rest. So talk to her. Find out exactly why she didn’t tell you.”
“She told me she was afraid I would take the child away, and then when she knew I wouldn’t do that, she told me she was afraid I’d be mad because she hadn’t told me,” Jackson said.
“Well, how did you act the day you created the baby?”
Jackson knew that Spence could probably take a pretty accurate guess as to how Jackson had acted that night. He’d only had one use for women during that time, had no desire for a commitment. He couldn’t remember all he’d said to Alyssa back then, but he knew he would have told her their night together had no chance of turning permanent. Maybe she did have a valid reason in the beginning to keep her secret. But after two months of being together, her reasoning was no longer valid. Jackson had changed.