I lost track of reality and life. I wasn’t human anymore. I wasn’t pain or death.
I was just…time.
No sensation or memories. No hardships or heartaches. Only time ticking past unwanted and unseen.
I was nothing, no one…gone.
“God’s sake. Pick me up again. I’ll freaking do it.”
“I’m doing it, woman! How many fucking times do I need to tell you that?”
“You’re not going fast enough.”
The yellow light turned white with power, beckoning me forward, promising a better existence than the one I endured.
I wanted to reach for it, squinting in my mind as the light grew larger, brighter, inhaling me into its orb.
I’d never seen something so pure—as if I stared at the nucleus of the sun or the entrance to heaven.
Am I worthy of paradise, after all?
“Hurry. We need to leave.”
“Woman, give me a damn moment, okay?”
The light supernovaed. Hissing increased in decibels until it echoed in my teeth. Electricity sparked in my muscles, slowly bringing me back to life. I tried to move, to see what beast hissed so loudly, but my body was no longer mine to command. It was weak and broken and past listening to such requests.
My foggy mind wouldn’t focus; wisps of thoughts and flickers of images all faded with every failing heartbeat.
I didn’t know why I continued to cling to whatever semblance of life I had.
This was no life.
This was just damnation.
“Shit, it’s not cutting.”
“I know it’s not freaking cutting. You’ve got the ratio wrong!”
“If you’re such a fucking know-it-all, you fix it.”
My ears rang with bickering.
I didn’t know the man, but the girl reminded me of my sister. A little girl who I’d loved since childhood but also drove me nuts. She’d constantly pinch my favourite toys and hide them where I could never find them.
She ran circles around Kes and me. Driving us mad, proving that love wasn’t enough to protect an infuriating sister from retaliation—usually in the form of frogs in her bed or beetles on her cereal.
I attempted a smile, thinking of happier times.
The light went out, followed by a scraping noise.
“Now, turn that gauge to the left and that to the right. See those two lines…that’s the ideal ratio.”
“Fine. Done. Now what?”
“Now, I want to work the wand.”
“What? No way.”
Something clanged off the earthen walls. My ears twitched, reminding me they still worked, even when other parts of me didn’t. I’d long since stopped feeling the soft splash of internment droplets on my forehead or tensing when a fresh wash of agony bathed my skin with fever.
“Pick me up and then give me the wand. Got it?”
“God, you’re such an arse.”
“Kind of you to notice. Now…pick me up.”
“But it should be me who—”
“Why? Because you’re male and playing with power tools is a man’s job?”
A heavy sigh. “No…because it’s—”
“Look, the original plan was for me to use the torch. If you hadn’t gone all ‘He-man’ on me, they’d be free and halfway to London by now.”
Silence again.
For a while, minutes swept me away, granting that odd sensation of no time passing but hours slipping anyway.
“They’re probably already dead. They haven’t moved since we started this.”
A livid curse littered the rank air. “If they don’t make it, our bargain is over. I promised Nila would be safe if you helped me rescue my brothers. If they die…why should I honour that?”
Nila…
The name…
Like an angel.
Nila…
My heart suddenly woke up. Shedding death, sending lethargic blood through my veins.
Nila.
Mine.
The woman I want but failed.
“Threads is walking out of here—regardless if they don’t.”
“Guess the only way to know for sure is to bust my brothers out of here before it’s too late.”
I sucked in a useless breath—it was like breathing cremated ash.
Before, the void I existed in had no emotion, no feeling to suck me dry. But these two people? Fuck. They had so much to say and no correct words in which to say it. The woman wept with helplessness and despair, hiding it beneath bluster and rage. The man…he was just as helpless and lost; only he wrapped his in confusion and disbelief.
“Alright, alright, I get your point.” Boots thudded on the dirt floor. “How should I do it again?”
A derisive laugh trilled, chasing back ghouls and monsters. “I told you how. Arms under my knees and around my shoulders. You can’t break me.”
“No, but I’ve heard about people like you—”
“People like me?”
“Shit, I just meant people with your—”
“My disability—is that what you were going to say? People like ‘me’ who can’t feel anything below their waist?”
An awkward cough. “I just meant, I know you can bruise easily and it’s not so simple to heal like a normal—”
“Wow, this just gets better and better. You’re saying I’m not normal?!”
“Whoa, fucking chill—”
“You know what? I don’t have time for this. Pick me up, give me the damn torch, and shut the hell up. When they’re safe in the hospital then we can discuss the politically appropriate ways to discuss my condition. Got it?”
A deep sigh. “Fine.”
I couldn’t make sense of anything.
What the hell did this mean?
Was my brain playing tricks? Giving me an angst-loaded argument, all for what? To keep me strained enough to stay lucid? Or were there truly two people trying to save me?
“There. You okay?”
“I’ll be okay once we get them out of here. Right, hand me the wand.”
A pause.
“Good. Take me closer.”
A few seconds later, the hissing began. I wanted to raise my head and see. But all I could do was bask in the meagre happiness the sound gave and slip again.
The brightness suddenly flared, cutting past my eyelids, imprinting on my retinas. No talking, no bickering, only the licking of flames against whatever enemy it destroyed.
Time skipped again—like a faulty record, jumping ahead, screeching backward, never playing the track in order.
“You’re almost there,” the man said.
Almost on cue, a snapping sounded, followed by a skeletonish groan.
“Ah, see. How little you trust me.”
More shuffling. “I take it back. You’re a girl, and you know how to use power tools.”
“Damn right, I do.”
Silence fell except for the occasional footfall and clang of metal on metal.
I sighed as the tempers eddying around me faded as companionship and victory stole their frustration. Inner peace settled, and I gave up trying to hold on.
The excitement disappeared, giving me a body that was cold, hungry, and riddled with pain.
I’m ready to go now. I’m ready to leave.
But then another sense came back to life.
The sense of touch.
“Kite…can you hear me?”
The softest warmth flittered over my cheek and forehead.
I wanted to moan with sheer pleasure. To answer their question and prove I hadn’t given up, no matter how much I craved sanctuary.
“You’re okay. You’ll be fine.” Warmth darted over my chest, my arm.
Then the sweetest voice whispered in my ear. “I’ve got you, Jet. You’re safe now. Just hang on.”
“SHE’S IN THE bath.”
“She’s not feeling well and can’t come to the door.”
“I have her chair—see? Of course, she’s in here with me.”
“She’s in bed. We had a sleepover and can’t get up.”
I groaned, wiping both hands over my face.
“Nothing will work.”
The empty room swallowed my words, keeping my fibs from reaching Hawk ears.
Ever since leaving Jasmine and Vaughn in the corridor leading toward the kitchens, I’d practiced a believable lie. Only thing was, there was nothing believable. After the visible hatred between Jaz and me at the meeting with the lawyers¸ no one would buy the excuse of a sleepover or girl chat or time willingly spent together.
It’s hopeless.
The best I could hope for was no visitors and for V and Jaz to get back as soon as possible.
My mind skipped back to last night.
My spine had tingled with foreboding as V bent down in the dark and hesitantly plucked Jasmine from her chair. I’d never seen her legs in full view without baggy pyjamas or a blanket hiding the emaciated muscles but seeing them dangle over V’s arms hit me hard.
Once upon a time, she could run and ride horses and chase her brothers.
Now, she had to rely on the brother of her enemy to be her transport.
A brutal price to pay for a payment I didn’t know.
The look in V’s eyes as he’d turned his back on me and left me in the empty corridor with an empty wheelchair squeezed my heart until I couldn’t breathe. Helping a Hawk went against everything he believed in. In his mind, he betrayed his stance on blackmailing with social media, slandering the Hawk name, and standing up for our mother and me.