His voice cracked. Then the peaceful curiosity twisted to anger again. He grunted, “You tattooed yourself with nonsense. Nonsense you can’t even remember.”
I shook my head. “It’s not nonsense if one day it will lead me to the truth. It’s wealth—don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t see. I don’t understand any of it.” His touch turned possessive as he positioned his cock once again by my entrance. I bit my lip as he eased forward, spreading me.
“Enough talking,” he groaned as he slid his delectable length inside me, pulling me higher off the bed and onto his hips. He sank deeper and deeper until only my shoulders remained on the mattress and my hips fully straddled his.
He teased me, pulsing but not thrusting.
“I hate that you look like her,” he muttered. “But I can’t deny you feel fucking good.”
I tried to rock, to encourage him to thrust, but the position he’d put me in was of complete control. I couldn’t peek or cheat. He’d locked me in the darkness with no power.
Claustrophobia clawed a little and I squirmed for freedom.
But then he moved, driving his hips upward and all thoughts of escape exploded from my thoughts.
Pulling almost all the way out, he entered me again, groaning quietly.
My mouth parted as he stretched, then withdrew, then filled me again. Torturing me as surely as any punishment possible. I arched up, pressing my hips harder onto his. But it didn’t do any good.
Despite my predicament and complete subservience to this man, I found sublime peace in having him inside me. He belonged there. I’d been made for him to fill me.
Don’t be so stupid.
I waged between ridiculous notions and the starkness of my reality as he rocked with a mind-numbing rhythm.
There, in the darkness with no words or worries, he was my sanctuary.
His rock turned determined. His voice rained angry around my ears. “Give me something true. Right now.”
I gulped; all hazy passion left my system. My heart filled with fear. So much truth hidden in so many secrets. “I wish I could.”
I wish I could make you believe the impossible.
“Try.”
I gasped as he drove deeper. “You don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
He cursed beneath his breath, his hands clutching my hips. “What’s your name?”
My name?
That elusive silverfish that refused to be caught.
“I don’t know.”
“Tell me,” he commanded, rocking harder, making my mouth fall open with bliss.
My eyes flew open behind my blindfold as I sucked in a breath at the blatant beg in his tone.
Need granted me recklessness. “Please, Kill… give me more. I don’t know my name. Don’t punish me for something I can’t control. Just make me yours.”
My heart seized as he jerked. His cock slid ever deeper, making us both groan. He pressed down on my belly, keeping me pinned. “You’ll never be mine. I don’t want you to be mine.”
Pain splashed from my soul to my heart.
I don’t want you.
How was this man so much more broken than me? So blinded to a life where he wasn’t living, merely existing?
I waited—for what? An apology? Something to heal the agony he’d caused. But nothing came.
I resorted to living with questions.
I hoped with all my soul that I would find the truth before this nightmare was over.
I expected him to use me roughly—to take me hard. But he just kept up his mind-numbing rock while my skin itched for contact. He pushed me off him, withdrawing his hard heat.
I felt empty as he unlocked the spreader bar, allowing my arms to come together. Flipping me onto my belly, he pressed himself over me.
I sighed with relief to have his weight blanketed, then gasped in delight as he slid deep inside. His stomach pressed against my ass every time he thrust.
I wanted more. I wanted his hands on me. His lips on mine.
It was a hopeless wish.
Then a whisper-soft kiss landed on my shoulder blade—so fleeting I would’ve missed it if my senses weren’t on overload with awareness. A single kiss planted almost fearfully on my flesh with a touch so loving, so adoring, a small sob erupted up my throat.
I didn’t know why I hurt so bad. I didn’t know why I wanted to cry so much. But his single act of sweetness drove me to break.
I needed to remember. I needed to remember him—the boy, my past and future—so agony would find someone else to torment.
His mouth settled over my spine, making my back bow, pressing my flesh into his mouth.
I moaned as he wrapped an arm under my chest, holding me tighter to his lips. His tongue swirled, tasting me with infinite gentleness.
I couldn’t breathe. Tears scalded my cheeks as he trailed kisses up the length of my spine to the nape of my neck. Then the touching stopped. The only sensation of him still being there was his soft puff of breath as he leaned close, and his cock thrusting shallowly and relentlessly into me.
I wished I could see him. I wished I could read the story in his eyes as he looked at me. He touched me like a man in love. He touched me like a man who knew me. Who adored and wanted me for just as long as I’d wanted him.
It was a lie.
By blindfolding me, he kept me trapped worse than any amnesia, almost as if he wanted to indulge in his memories but not include me.
Selfish.
A flash of hatred worked its way through my soul.
I groaned as he suddenly picked up his pace. The rock disappeared under a siege of claiming.
In and out.
Deeper and harder.
My heart exploded as every sense relocated in my core. Every stroke of his cock sent an earthquake rippling through my body. His balls tightened, pressing deliciously against my clit. With my legs together and his weight above me, my orgasm built fast, finding friction against the mattress.
He reared up, impaling himself deeper. Mysteries thickened between us as our hearts raced.
“Please… tell me who you are,” I moaned, tears trickling down my cheeks as my mouth opened with delirium.
He didn’t reply. His touch turned angry, spreading my thighs, keeping me at his mercy.
My leg swung backward, boldly wrapping around his and connecting with hot flesh.
He froze, his cock twitching inside. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Trying to remember,” I breathed.
He paused. I waited to see if he would push me away, but slowly he thrust again, obeying the pressure of my leg around his—dictating the speed and depth.
Power shot through me as he groaned, his erection growing bigger and harder—stretching me impossibly more. The silkiness of his skin sent ripples of lust into my core.
I wanted him. So much. It wasn’t enough to have him inside—I wanted his heart.
“Touch me,” I begged. “Fuck me.”
He sucked in a breath. Words dangled unsaid between us. I hoped against hope he’d voice them, but he didn’t.
Instead, he pushed away my foot and smothered my body with his.
His cock drove into my pussy, hot and tempting. I wriggled beneath him, welcoming.
Then he did something I would never have suspected.
He fisted my hair, arching my head to kiss me.
His lips descended on mine.
Hard.
Fast.
Wet. And possessive.
I couldn’t breathe or think as his tongue invaded my lips, taking so much, giving so much.
All my attention was on his kiss and I cried out as his hips thrust hard, driving his cock fast and deep inside.
Stars twinkled behind my eyes. I bucked beneath him, assaulted by sweetness and violence. Tenderness and hate. He nipped at my lips, biting me, while his cock drove deeper and deeper.
He swallowed my screams, feeding me on his groans.
Not seeing or being able to touch him made the taking so much… more. He took everything I had to give.
The orgasm started behind my memories, dark and lurking just like everything else in my life. He rode me hard, pushing my body up the bed.
“Fuck. Take it. I can’t fucking—”
I had no words for him. Not this time. Not when I wanted to remain nothing but warmth and sparkles of my building release.
“Goddammit, I can’t. I… shouldn’t. Fuck me… This is wrong, so… fucking wrong.” He grunted with every thrust.
My ears twitched with his torment. This was wrong? What connecting? Making each other feel incredible? I couldn’t believe that. I didn’t want to believe it.
Tilting my hips, I drove us to the pinnacle of no return.
“There’s nothing wrong about this,” I moaned as his cock stroked and detonated the fireball in my core.
I came with an explosion, squeezing along his length with ferocity that made my eyes water. He followed, his groan so loud, it set off another earthquake inside me. The release felt like a bomb, a grenade—bullets of power and rage and freedom.
He fucked me with abandon. Losing all pretenses as we came hard and long. Throwing ourselves into the grey where there were no ghosts or memories—only us and pleasure.
Chapter Eleven
She looked at me as if she understood. She saw straight into my soul and understood.
She’ll never understand.
She twisted my mind.
I hated her for offering a second chance with every blink of her green eyes. She offered the priceless gift of forgetting and letting go.
My heart wanted to believe so fucking much.