“Yeah, Rem, the kinds of ass you get,” Riley says. “Jesus!”
An image flashes in my head of gold eyes, brimming with tears, in a hospital room. I stare down at the letter and uncrumple it from my fist, aware of Pete and Riley watching me, and then watching each other.
“Dude, hand that over, I can put that away from you.” Pete comes over for the letter.
I instantly fist my hand around it. “You touch it, you die.”
He drops his arm and sighs, and I look at both of them. “Where’s her sister?”
“Not out of rehab yet. Another week.”
I keep testing my body. Coach must be using the TENS machine on me to maintain muscle mass. I fold my muscles, they’re hard as ever. All electronically manipulated to make them believe I trained—when I did not.
“Coach has been shocking every inch,” Riley says, confirming my thoughts. “You’re filled up with glutamine and all kinds of supplements.”
I drop to the floor and do a push-up. Nice. It flows. My back isn’t f**ked from lying in bed. I jump up and twist my neck, then I open my suitcase and spot my boxing robe. And I know, with every inch of me, if I grab it, it’s going to smell like her. In that moment the urge to expend all my rapidly building energy becomes acute. “Call Coach, let’s hit it hard.”
“You’re seriously going to train? You’ve been in the hospital for over two weeks and getting shocks in the head! That’s the only way we could pull you out of your depression.”
“But I’m good now.” I take her letter and my training gear into the bathroom, then I open the letter and read it again: I love you, Remy.
I close my eyes and throw it away.
Then I go get it, read it, and trace her letters. Damn you, Brooke. You should’ve told me to stay away. That you hated me. That you can’t live with someone like me. Instead you tell me my team is your family. That you’re happy. That you think about me when you hear my songs. You tell me that you f**king love me. Now, Brooke, I’m coming after you.
EVERYONE, EXCEPT DIANE, rides in the Escalade. We’re only blocks away from the building and there’s a war zone in my chest. I drum my fingers on my thighs while the knot in my gut tightens as we get nearer. Brooke needs to be set f**king straight, and I’m sure when she sees the little package we’ve brought, there won’t be much explaining to do.
I rub the back of my neck and then ram my hand into my jeans and grab the letter. The letter burns me. I’ve read it until my eyes cross and they burn from my rage. She held me like I was golden. She said she’d never leave and every inch of me believed her. I want to know what I said. I want to know what I f**king did. I want to know if she meant what she said in her f**king letter or if it’s all a load of f**king bullshit.
“Oh, there’s Brooke, and Melanie,” Pete says from the back.
My head snaps toward the two figures trotting down the sidewalk as the car heads farther down the block to stop before her apartment. Holy god, it’s her.
My heart starts pumping, the arteries in my heart widening to feed my muscles. I curl my fingers and yank open the door, but Pete and Riley descend from the car first. I step out on the sidewalk after them, and I see her. And she sees me. And we stare, neither of us moving. My eyes have been so starved, they hurt when I take her in—ponytail, running shoes, exercise gear, the oval face I dream of and those marshmallow lips of my fantasies and those gold eyes shining as they look back at me.
God, I love you.
With every bit of my f**king being, and every inch is buzzing at the sight of her. She wears tight running gear and sweat glistens on her forehead and throat, her hair held back in a cute ponytail, and she’s frozen on the spot as she looks at me. I don’t know if she’s going to launch herself at me when she starts to move; all I know is, if she does, I’m so f**king ready to catch her. I’m going to catch her and never set her down on the ground.
Jesus, she looks so right and so glad to see me, I get all knotted up as they start heading for the three of us.
“Miss Dumas?” Pete asks her as she and her friend keep heading over. “We believe this belongs to you?”
He signals past me, and from our Escalade Nora emerges.
Brooke looks at me first, then blinks. “Nora?”
“Nora?” her friend Melanie repeats.
“We just wanted to make sure she got home safe,” Pete says.
“Nora?” Brooke can’t take her eyes off her sister, and my chest swells at the joyous disbelief on my little firecracker’s face.
“It’s me!” Her sister runs over for a hug, and I’ve never been jealous of a woman before, but I want Brooke’s arms around me, her scent in my nostrils, in my lungs, caressing my soul. “It’s me, big sis! I’m back! I’ve done work in rehab. Pete helped me. And I got the tattoo off.” She points to the place where Scorpion’s f**king ink used to mark her face. “I felt so little when you looked at me that day, Brooke. I felt so little and so . . . dirty.”
“No! No, never!” Brooke hugs her again, and my gut clenches in jealousy and my arms feel leaden with the want to go around her.
“Nora! Nora Camora Lalora Crazyora!” Brooke’s crazy, funny friend dives for Nora and swings her around, and Brooke turns to stare at the group of us, my heart kicking in anticipation.
But she looks at Pete, only making the knot in me tighten even more. “Pete, what’s going on?”
“Surprise.” He signals happily at her sister. “She’s done great. She’s such a sweet girl.”
Then he nods in my direction, and Brooke’s gold eyes return to me, but I can’t take standing here, like she’s not mine, and I’m not hers. I ram my hands into my jeans pocket and can’t stop checking her out, the way her curves fill out, her sweat clings to her pretty skin.
“The night Remy went to fight with Scorpion, Scorpion offered your sister to him instead of the championship. And Remy agreed,” Pete explains.
I watch her, and her eyes meet mine in utter confusion, and I wait for her to say something.
“You mean he agreed to . . . lose?”
My body tightens at the disbelief there, at the pain. She thought I did it because I’m a f**king BP, and I know it.
She starts shaking her head, clinging to my eyes with hers. I see her pulse pounding, her face changing in color, her eyes darkening in pain.
“You did this for . . . Nora?” she breathlessly asks me.
She’s so exquisite, she’s my girl, my little firecracker, and when her eyes flood with tears, I want them to fall only so I can lick them away.
Pete grabs a green duffel bag from the back of the Escalade and heads inside with Nora. “Let me take this in for you, Nora.”
Riley stands by me, and the girls are looking back at us. No. Melanie is looking at Riley. But Brooke can’t take her eyes off me. I push my hands deeper into my pockets. I could grab her to me. Crush her to me. Give her a punishing kiss for leaving me, and then a loving kiss because I’m f**king insane about her.
She wraps her arms around herself and drops her head. “Why didn’t you tell me? That you threw the fight for . . . her?”
She looks forlorn, and, god, I wanted her to feel protected by me. Not ashamed of what I will do for her. “You mean for you,” I softly tell her.
“I didn’t know either, Brooke,” Riley says. “Or Coach. Only Pete knew. He’s the one who found him that night, and he helped secure your sister while Remington delivered the win.”
Her eyes briefly meet Riley’s, then they come back to roam all over me. I can feel her touch. Her want. It’s in her eyes, trembling in her voice. I want to reach it, touch it, see it, feel it closer.
“How are you? Are you all right?” she asks me, and her sweet concern makes it impossible to think straight. I only nod. I’m not all right, little firecracker, not even near all right.
“What does this loss mean for you now?” she asks. She wants to talk, but I don’t want to talk about the Underground. I lost something far more important that day and I want it back.
“Other than we’re poor?” Riley answers for me. He chuckles too hard. “He has a couple million to get him through the year. We’re making a comeback when the new season starts. Remy’s fans demand retribution.”
“You do have loyal fans, don’t you?” Brooke asks, those gold eyes softly massacring me.
I want to tell her that for a month I have not been aware of everything I have, only what I don’t.
“Well, time to go.” Riley slaps my back. “Actually, Brooke, we’re also here because we’re looking for a sports rehab specialist for the upcoming new season. Good to get a head start on training.” Riley gives her the card with the details. “In case you’re interested, Mr. Tate’s number, if you consider, is on the back. There’s the hotel where we’re staying too. We leave in three days.”
Riley climbs into the car, and so does Pete, but I wait for her reaction.
She looks at me, and I stare directly back at her.
My pulse is wild as I want to say a thousand things, play her a thousand songs, and nothing comes out. Out of the mess inside me, the roil and tangle of emotions, I can’t say a single word. Not even Why? Why did you leave me. Why did you say you loved me and leave me.