“You killed the Lilin,” Zayne said after a moment. “The Alphas told us that the Lilin was dead. They pulled back—no longer threatening to wipe out all of us. That’s how we knew something happened—that something had to have happened to you.”
Jasmine tugged the quilt closer around my shoulders as she finished checking me out. “She’s fine,” she said to Zayne. “From what I can see. No wounds.”
Zayne lifted a hand, scrubbing his hand through his hair. “When Roth showed up, we knew.” His voice was rough, and my heart squeezed like someone had dropped it into a juicer. “He said you left in the middle of the night without him. I... I don’t even know why he came here, what he thought we could do for him. He said that one of his contacts had confirmed that you...that you’d done it. Roth was...” His brows knitted together as he looked away. “We had a funeral for you, Layla.”
My stomach dropped. “You did what?”
“You were gone. There was no body.” Nicolai frowned from the doorway, and I suddenly felt like hurling because he was talking about my body. “But we knew you were gone and I...we had to give you that rite, after what you sacrificed.”
Great guacamole, I had no idea what to think about that. I missed my own funeral! Well, if I’d been dead, dead I would’ve missed my funeral anyways. “That seems a little quick,” I said finally.
Zayne stepped toward me, his expression severe. “Layla, it wasn’t quick. You’ve been gone for six days. The funeral was two days ago.”
“Six days?” My eyes widened. “It couldn’t have been six days. It was just last night...” I trailed off, remembering what Roth had said about time moving differently down below. The disconnect had happened when I went down to see Grim. Though I didn’t think I’d gone to Hell this time. I had a feeling I had been in something more like a waiting room of sorts. Time must’ve moved slowly then, too. I shook my head and cool, damp hair clung to my cheeks. “I thought I died. I was in this place and I saw—”
A commotion rose from the hallway, cutting me off. I looked up as Jasmine rose from the couch. A rush of warm tingles tiptoed across the nape of my neck. Nicolai turned and I saw Dez step to the side, away from the room.
“It’s him,” Dez said softly.
I was standing before I realized what I was doing, the blanket slipping off my shoulders. My senses started coming online, firing all at once. Shivers raced up and down my spine.
My heart stuttered, and then skipped a beat as a tall form parted the Wardens crowding the door. Messy raven-colored hair fell forward into ocher eyes that were deeply shadowed.
Wrinkles clung to the black shirt he wore. It looked like he’d slept in it for days, as did the dark jeans. The laces on his boots were untied. He was a mess, every inch of him, but he was still the most striking thing I’d ever seen.
Roth strode into the room, stopping halfway. His full lips parted, and I caught a quick glimpse of light reflecting off the metal ball. Our gazes locked, and it was like the world around us just slipped away. It was only him and me, and I didn’t remember moving and I didn’t see him move either, but in a heartbeat, I was standing before Roth, staring up at him.
“Layla?” His voice cracked halfway through my name. He reached out, clasping my cheeks with hands that shook. A shock jumped from his skin to mine.
Tears filled my eyes as I inhaled deeply. The sweet, dark scent of his settled over me. In that very moment, there was no lingering doubt in my mind that I was alive and this wasn’t some kind of bizarre hallucination.
“I’m here,” I whispered as the tears broke free. “I’m really here.”
Roth’s hands slipped off my cheeks, and then his arms were around me. He hauled me up against his chest, onto the tips of my toes as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. He staggered back a step, and I guessed his legs had given out, because the next thing I knew, he was on his ass and I was straddling his lap, my knees on either side of his hips.
His entire body trembled as I wrapped my arms around him, holding him just as fiercely as he held me. We were so close I could feel his heart pounding and the rapid rise and fall of his chest. Tears ran down my cheeks unchecked, and I had no idea how long we sat like that, clinging to one another as Roth rocked back and forth ever so slightly. I couldn’t get close enough. I wanted to burrow my way in, because this—this—I never thought I’d feel any of it again—his arms around me or his warmth or his unique scent. Only a tiny part of me had hoped that somehow, someone would let him see me after I passed on, but I hadn’t been counting on it. I’d left to face the Lilin never expecting to experience this again.
Raw emotion expanded inside me, and it was almost too much, but in an odd way, not enough.
Roth jerked back, lifting his head. There was a sheen in his amber eyes, a glassy quality that tore at my heart. I’d never seen a demon cry, didn’t even know it was possible, but I’d been wrong. Then my cheek was pressed against his shoulder again, and he was holding me so tight there was a good chance I’d turn into a squeak toy, but it would be worth it. There were no words between us. None needed to be spoken. Every action was drenched in what we felt for one another.
One of his hands traveled up the line of my spine, fisting around my hair at the nape of my neck. He dragged my mouth to his, and he kissed me. There was nothing soft about it. The kiss tasted of desperation and joy, of pain and relief, and of the bright rediscovery of tomorrow that had once been stolen away.
The kiss was the act of someone who never thought he’d have the chance to experience it again. I tasted blood and I wasn’t sure if it was from him or me, but it didn’t matter. Our tears mingled and our hands clutched at one another. He was so very much warm and alive under the clothes, and I was so very much here, with him.
Roth pressed his forehead against mine, and my hands trembled as I pressed them against his damp cheeks. He hadn’t shaved and the rough bristle tickled my palms. “I love you,” he said, and then spoke in a language I didn’t understand before switching back. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
thirty
HOURS LATER, WE lay in bed, our arms and legs tangled as night fell and snow continued to blanket the ground.
The trip back to the McMansion had been a blur. The Wardens had left us almost immediately, which was shocking. Things had most definitely changed if they were now willing to leave a demon and, well, whatever I was alone in their sanctuary, even if they were standing guard outside the sitting room.
No one stopped us when we left, and I hadn’t seen Zayne. Only Nicolai and Dez had been visible when we exited the room. I was in no shape to fly the friendly skies, so we ended up having Cayman pick us up.
He’d been overly excited at the idea of playing chauffeur.
I lay on my side, the front of my body pressed against Roth’s. I was curled around him and his hand slid up and down my spine in a continuous, smooth caress. Since the moment he’d walked into the sitting room at the compound, there hadn’t been one second where we weren’t touching one another.
And only a handful of seconds had passed between the moment we’d stepped into the bedroom and when our clothing ended up in a forgotten pile on the floor. Again, there had been little said between us, but what we felt for one another was expressed in each brush of our fingertips, sweep of our lips and in the way we moved against one another.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed after our hearts slowed and the fine sheen of sweat cooled on our skin.
The tips of his fingers followed the line of my spine. “I went to Hell looking for you.”
I lifted my chin, peering up at him from when I was snuggled up against his chest. “You did? Roth, that was so dangerous. They could’ve kept you.”
He looked down at me, dark eyebrow raised. “I thought you were dead. The last thing I was worried about was the Boss throwing my ass in the pit. And as it turns out, I was in such a pathetic way, the Boss took pity on me, and just tossed my ass out of Hell after telling me you weren’t there.”
Resting my hand above his heart, I felt it beat strongly before I spoke. “Still, it was dangerous.”
“I was... I was desperate.” His hand made another trip up my back. “I’ve never felt that before. I mean, when that asshole Warden stabbed you, I felt fear, tasted it for the very first time when you were in my arms and I thought you might die, but this was so much stronger. It was different. When I woke up that night and you were gone, I knew... I just knew what you’d done, and I wasn’t even mad at you for it. I was too damn afraid to feel anger at first.” He tipped his chin back, staring at the ceiling as he swallowed hard. “Some kind of missive went out from Hell. Like a freaking text message, saying that the Lilin was dead—actually, it was a text message. A group text message to every demon topside. I saw it on my phone when I got out of bed.”
For some horrible reason, I had the urge to laugh. Hell sent texts messages—group ones at that? It kind of fit, since there was nothing worse than being on the receiving end of a group message—sort of like being held hostage. But nothing was fun about any of what Roth was telling me.