It looked biker babe.
But biker babe chic.
I stared at myself wondering if I’d ever have the nerve to wear such a top.
Then I thought about Joker with his brunette and I wished I could afford it.
On that thought, my phone rang.
“I’m on it,” Tyra said, sitting on the shelf bench, before she dug into my purse, which was on the bench beside her.
I felt a little hand slap my thigh and looked down to see Cutter standing there, his head tipped way back, his mother’s green eyes in a face reminiscent of his father on me.
“Pretty,” he said.
Well, there was another vote.
I smiled at him. “Thanks, honey.”
“Says unknown number,” Tyra stated and I turned to her to see she had her arm extended, phone toward me.
I grabbed it, took the call, and put it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Teodoro?” a woman that sounded familiar asked.
“Yes.”
“Hold for Angie, please.”
Oh. My attorney.
I heard a click and then I heard, “Ms. Teodoro?”
“Hi, Angie. Please, it’s Carissa,” I corrected.
Or Carrie.
Or Butterfly.
But those were Joker’s.
I looked back to the tube top, thinking maybe I could afford it, if I could talk Sharon into giving me some overtime next week.
“Just wanted to touch base, tell you we got the files, and I’ve been over them. I’ll transfer you back to Leanne to set up a meeting but I wanted to ask you about breastfeeding.”
I stopped thinking about tube tops and my eyes unfocused as I gave my attention to Angie.
“Sorry?”
“Breastfeeding. There’s a note in your attorney’s file that says that Mr. Neiland refused your breast milk during his visitations with Travis and started your son on formula without discussing this with you. Is this true?”
It was, but I tried not to remember it because at the time I’d been so hurt, and so angry, I’d phoned my attorney and told him all about it.
That being that, in the beginning, when Aaron had Travis for only short periods of time, the fact that I breastfed him wasn’t an issue. I just pumped extra and handed it over when I handed over Travis, and, if needed, I would drop more by his house.
But when Aaron won half custody, it was harder for me to keep up with supply and demand, meaning I couldn’t hand over a week’s worth at one time. This meant that I had to pop by Aaron’s house more often, but also, because I worked and I couldn’t be at Aaron’s beck and call, Tory would have to come by my place or the store to get more milk.
Therefore, this had gone on for two visitations before they stopped setting up pick-up times for more milk, which obviously made me worry.
Then at the end of his time with Travis, Aaron handed my son back to me, telling me he was no longer feeding Travis my milk, but formula. He also declared it was better for Travis if I stopped breastfeeding and switched to formula, essentially ordering me to do so.
Now, I wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted to breastfeed until my kid was five.
But I was the kind of woman who wanted to give my child the kind of nurture and connection he could get only from me until it was a healthy option to stop doing it.
So, of course, I refused. My times feeding Travis were mine. They were beautiful. There was no way to describe how significant that connection was, and I had no intention of giving it up.
Unfortunately, Aaron’s decision had a variety of ramifications.
The first being, since I was tossing a lot of milk down the drain once the freezer filled up (and had to take breaks from work to pump), this became onerous and disruptive, rather than necessary for my son’s nurture.
Still, I would have continued doing it, but then it came clear that Travis was having trouble coping with the constant change. He’d already suffered nipple confusion when the back and forth was happening between my breast and Aaron needing to use bottles. Not to mention just having to endure the back and forth between his mommy and daddy.
But then Travis started spitting up more, having trouble returning to the nipple when I got him back, was cranky and slept fitfully, and in the end, he wasn’t gaining weight the way he should.
Since Aaron flatly refused to put him back on my milk, I had no choice but to switch to formula.
And heartbreakingly, Travis’s feedings steadied, he was in better spirits, slept peacefully and looked healthier.
At the time, I’d been devastated, the experience made worse by learning precisely how powerless I was about what happened with my baby.
So it also terrified me.
“It’s true,” I answered Angie. “He demanded I switch from breast milk to formula, and although I refused in the beginning, Travis had issues with the change, Aaron would not hear of accepting my milk, so I had to relent.”
I heard Tyra gasp but I didn’t turn to her. I stayed focused on Angie.
“It says in your custody agreement that matters of health and well-being are to be decided equally between you and your ex-husband,” Angie told me, something I already knew.
“That may be so, but that’s not Aaron’s way of doing things,” I shared. “If he wants to do it, he does.”
“That couldn’t have been easy on you or your son,” Angie noted.
“It absolutely wasn’t,” I confirmed. “On either of us. But Aaron has little concern about what’s easy on me or, apparently, Travis. In fact, just last week Travis had croup. Aaron took him to the hospital, and he didn’t inform me he did. His fiancée shared with me after the fact, but Aaron didn’t contact me at all. I requested to see my son, but this was refused. I saw him two days later, but only because Aaron’s fiancée snuck him to my place of work so I could spend thirty minutes with him.”
There was heavy silence before Angie said, “When you speak to Leanne, please make our meeting as soon as you possibly can, Carissa. There are a number of motions I could file. In the meantime, I’ll think things over so I can fully discuss our strategy options going forward during our meeting.”
“Can you give me a hint?” I asked, my heart thumping.
“Of course,” she answered. “First, there’s no way the financial support you can provide your son should not be augmented by your ex-husband. The discrepancy between your earnings is vast. Second, even though your marriage was not very long, your settlement, considering proceedings started when you were pregnant, was outrageously low. There is no way you could set up an appropriate home for your son and yourself with that kind of money. Your husband more than has the means to have helped provide you with that, not only through his earnings but also the trust fund that opened to him when he turned twenty-five, and two rather substantial inheritances that he’s received in the last four years.”