I swallow.
One moment—a few seconds—and my entire life can change. I can do this and looking at Oz convinces me that overhearing my parents and Eli’s conversation is possible.
His black hair is an array of messy tufts sticking out in various directions. The bandanna is off and the urge is to knot my fingers in the strands. I step into his personal space. Close enough that heat instantly springs between us. Close enough that when we inhale to breathe, our bodies touch.
I lift my head and Oz’s deep blue eyes dart around my face in confusion. There’s a light stubble on his jaw and, being braver than I normally am, I reach up and gently brush my fingertips along the rough hairs. My heart beats faster with the soft scrape against my skin and Oz sucks in a breath of air.
“What are you doing?” His voice is deep and gruff. Each syllable caressing my soul.
What am I doing? I’m submitting to temptation. I’m taking control of my life. I lick my lips and Oz mirrors the motion. He’s not lying. He’s as attracted to me as I am to him and there’s no part of me that will regret what’s about to happen.
“I’m leaving soon,” I whisper.
“You are.”
“And I won’t be coming back.”
“You won’t.” His gaze wanders the length of my body. “But we can’t do whatever it is you’re thinking of doing.”
Resistance—not what I need and, deep down, not what I want. “Why not?”
Oz pierces me with his eyes and I spot not only a shadow of lust there, but a seriousness I’ve never seen from anyone else before. “Because you aren’t that type of girl.”
Normally, I’m not, yet I bristle like a porcupine and try to ignore the sting of rejection. Maybe he doesn’t want me like he claims. Maybe I’m making a fool of myself. “You have no idea who I am.”
“And you don’t know me and you don’t understand my world.”
His world. He’s right. I don’t, but I do know there’s so much more going on than anyone will tell me and I’m bent on finding it out. Oz thinks he has all the power here, but I’m not blind and I do listen. He wants to kiss me as much as I secretly crave to kiss him. This rawness going on between us is nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s primal, instinctual, and instead of fighting it, I’m bent on using it to my advantage.
The girl I normally am, she’s begging me to return to my chair, but nothing about this moment is normal. Being here, the picture Olivia gave me, Eli’s sudden interest in me...the way my blood pounds in an urgent rhythm whenever Oz is around. “Are you saying you don’t want to kiss me?”
Oz rubs a hand over his face as if he’s waging an internal battle. It’s a battle against me and, in this, I will win. I step closer, my body pressing against his, and a slight twinge of a possible victory overtakes me when he closes his eyes as if he likes the feel of me.
“Are you all talk, Oz? In the short time I’ve known you, you keep saying you want to kiss me and I’m admitting I want to kiss you. This is a now or never. Once I leave here, I will never return.”
I take a huge risk. I lay my fingers on his shoulders, my thumb tracing his collarbone through his shirt. His head snaps up as if I found his “On” switch. A wave of electricity crackles in the air when our eyes meet and I love the utter shock written all over his face. Yes, I am the person in control.
In a lightning-fast movement, Oz’s hand snatches mine, the one that’s touching him, and he holds it in his grasp. He shifts so that he towers over me, like he did in the hallway, in a way that suggests he’s trying to take back control. “Is this what you really want, Emily? To kiss me? You don’t think I see right through you? That you try to kiss me, I lower my defenses, and you push past me and out the door?”
His thumb moves over the top of my hand and I shiver with the contact. My mouth runs dry at the thought of how close we both are to going over this edge. “I can guarantee that bolting past you was never on my mind.”
“Who are you, Emily?” he asks in a husky voice.
I don’t know who I am here. At home, I’m definitely not this. But here? “I’m not shy, and for today, I’m bold.”
“Are you sure about that?” In less than a second, Oz wraps his arms around me, erases the minute distance between us and presses me to him. One of his hands roams the small of my back while the other wanders to my hair. His fingers play with the ends and the gentle pull causes pleasing goose bumps to form along my skin. “Are you sure this is the position you want to be in with me?”
He’s playing with me, he’s testing me, he’s insisting that I tuck my tail between my legs and admit that I can’t go through with what I’ve started, but he doesn’t get how badly I want to understand what’s going on, to learn the truth.
My pulse picks up pace and adrenaline shoots through my veins. This is a means to an end, a means to an end alone, but what frightens me is how much I desire this.
I edge my hands up, brush them against the hot skin of his neck, let my fingernails dance near the tips of his longer hair. Oz’s body tenses and melts into mine at the same time.
“Does that feel like I’m playing?” I whisper.
His hold in my hair tightens. “Whatever you think you’ve got planned isn’t going to work. You’re not walking out that door.”
“Are you scared of me?” I taunt.
“I’m scared of no one. If you want to do this, we’ll do this, but as I said, you’re not going anywhere, so you might as well step back now.”
I may not be going anywhere this very second, but I will be soon. Very, very soon. “Are you going to stop me from leaving?”
“Yes,” he answers as his hands begin to wander and I move my head closer to his, placing my mouth undeniably near his.
“Unless you’re scared, then stop me, Oz.” Our lips briefly touch as I speak. “Kiss me and stop me from leaving right now.”
His nose skims my cheek and he’s still battling the chemistry between us. My own blood hums and frustration kicks in. “Kiss me. Just stop thinking and kiss me.”
He accepts the challenge as he crushes his lips against mine. My knees immediately buckle and, searching for stability, I weave my arms around his neck. Oz uses his strength to support me in response. My fingers rake through his hair. His hands massage my back.
A warmth spreads in my stomach and it’s a driving need that causes me to curl myself around him. Both of Oz’s hands slip down my spine. A slight brush along my bottom and I suck in a surprised and excited breath as Oz grabs on to the back of my thighs.