“Excuse me? Weren’t you the one who told me your life story that first night on the beach?”
“You asked questions and I answered them.”
“And you think that works?”
“It has for us. We have no trouble talking.”
“But that’s because I ask a lot of questions.”
“Yes.”
“Well, it’s a good thing I do. Or we’d end up like some of those older couples I see in coffee shops who don’t say a word to each other while they eat breakfast. Of course, that’s probably right up your alley. I can easily imagine you going an entire day without saying anything to anyone.”
“Sometimes I do.”
“That’s not normal.”
“Okay.”
She took a sip of wine and waved a hand at him. “More detail, please.”
“I don’t know what ‘normal’ really means. I think everyone has his own definition, and it’s shaped by culture, by family and friends, by character and experience, by events and a thousand other things. What’s normal for one person isn’t normal for another. For some people, jumping out of airplanes is crazy. For other people, life isn’t worth living without it.”
She nodded, conceding the point. Still…
“All right. Without me asking a question first, I want you to say how you really feel about something. Something unexpected and completely off topic. Something I wouldn’t expect you to say. And then elaborate, without me having to ask a single question.”
“Why?”
“Humor me,” she said, nudging him. “Just for fun.”
He rotated the wineglass with his fingers before raising his eyes to hers. “You’re amazing. You’re intelligent and beautiful and it should be easy for you to meet someone who doesn’t have my past, who hasn’t made the mistakes I have… Truthfully, it makes me wonder what I’m doing here, or why you even invited me. Part of me thinks that all of this is too good to be true and that it’s going to come crashing down, but even if it does, it wouldn’t change the fact that you’ve already added something to my life, something that I hadn’t even realized was missing.” Colin paused. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “You’ve come to mean more to me than I think you realize. Before you came along, I had Evan and Lily, and I thought that was enough. But it isn’t. Not anymore. Not since last weekend. Being with you makes me feel vulnerable again, and I haven’t felt vulnerable since I was a kid. I can’t say that I always like it, but the alternative would be worse because it would mean not seeing you again.”
Maria realized she’d been holding her breath; by the time he finished, she felt almost dizzy, overwhelmed by his response, and tried to steady herself.
Colin, on the other hand, continued to exude an easy confidence, and it was that, more than anything, which allowed her to regain her equilibrium.
“I’m not sure what to say,” she admitted.
“You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t say it because I wanted a response. I said it because I wanted to.”
She wrapped both hands around the stem of her glass. “May I ask you a question?” she asked shyly. “About something else?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you act like you didn’t know anything about salsa dancing?”
“When we talked about it, I didn’t. Lily spent the week giving me lessons. That’s what I was doing on Thursday and Friday nights.”
“You learned how to dance for me?”
“Yes.”
She turned away and took a sip of wine, trying to mask her amazement. “Thank you. And I guess I should thank Lily, too.”
He flashed a quick smile. “Would you mind if I refill my water glass? I’m still a bit thirsty.”
“Of course not.”
Colin stepped away and Maria shook her head, wondering when, or even if, she would cease being surprised by him.
Luis had never spoken to her like Colin just had. As she leaned over the railing, she suddenly found it hard to remember what she’d really seen in him. On the surface, he was attractive and intelligent, but underneath he’d been arrogant and vain. She’d often made excuses for his behavior, and if anyone questioned her feelings, she’d reacted defensively. Thinking back, she admitted that she’d desperately wanted his approval and not only did he sense that, but he frequently took advantage of it. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, she knew, and when she tried to imagine him behaving as Colin had – calling her, bringing flowers, learning to dance – she couldn’t. And despite all that, she’d loved Luis with an intensity she could still sometimes feel.
Earlier, as she and Colin had been dancing, she’d caught herself thinking that the night couldn’t possibly get any better. And then, all at once, it had. Listening to him express his feelings without fear or regret had left her speechless. She wondered whether she was capable of such a thing. Probably not, but then again, Colin wasn’t like most people. He accepted himself, faults and all, and forgave himself for the mistakes he’d made. More than that, he seemed to live in the moment without regard for either the past or the future.
The greatest revelation was how deeply Colin was able to experience his emotions, perhaps even more deeply than she did. Watching him over dinner and on the dance floor, and hearing his words just now, she knew that if he wasn’t in love with her yet, he was on the brink. Like her, he was willing to surrender to the inevitable, an idea that made her hands tremble. As Colin stepped back onto the balcony behind her, she took a long breath, savoring the wave of desire that flooded through her. He leaned over the railing next to her, and as their breaths fell into steady rhythm, she took another sip of wine, the warmth coursing down her throat into her stomach and limbs.