The neckline and the hem and the lower line of the bodice are embroidered with tiny flowers accented with pearls, giving the pure white dress a touch of the whimsical. I think it’s an exceptional dress, and I cannot wait for Damien to see me in it.
I glance over at my mother, expecting to see approval in her eyes. I should have known better.
“Well,” she says with a sniff, “I suppose this is to be expected, considering your choice of flowers and cake.”
“I—” I snap my mouth shut. I have no idea what to say. No idea what insult to hurl that will cut her as deeply as she is cutting me, each word like a new wound.
All I want is one tiny crumb from my mother. Approval, compassion, respect. But there is nothing there, and there never has been.
And yet I have been foolish enough to let that flame of hope keep burning. God, I’m an idiot.
I turn away so as to not let her see that my eyes are bright with tears.
“A longer train,” she says. “And a fuller skirt. This is one of the few times you can completely hide those hips, Nichole. You should take advantage of it.”
I cringe, wanting to scream at her that just because I’m no longer a size four does not mean that I have to start wearing caftans. I’m young, I’m healthy, I’m pretty, and if she’s too goddamn stupid to see that—
My wild thoughts are interrupted by the door to the back room bursting open and a tall red-haired woman hurrying in.
“Nikki,” she says, holding out her hand. “I’m Alyssa.”
I start to hold my hand out as well, only to discover that I’ve clenched it so tight that I’ve left indentations from my nails in my palms. I flex it, then extend it to her. “Is there a problem?”
“I’m afraid so,” she says. “This is terribly embarrassing, but your dress is missing.”
“Missing,” I repeat stupidly.
“We hope it’s just a clerical error in customs, and we’re doing everything we can.” I halfway tune her out, still stuck on that one word: missing . My dress is missing, and my wedding is Saturday. Tomorrow.
“. . . have been other shops with items missing . . .”
What the hell am I going to do? This is my dress. My wedding dress. I mean, I can’t just run to Target.
“. . . customs or the shipper, but we’re looking into it, and . . .”
And it’s not even just a wedding dress. It’s the dress I bought during my trip to Europe with Damien. It’s the dress we bought during our days and nights in Paris. The dress made by the designer who assured Damien that he would go faint with awe when he saw me in the gown. This is not a dress I can lose, nor is it a dress I can replace, and I can feel the panic, the anger, the futility rising inside me.
One goddamn thing after another, and I can’t even lash out. Because it’s not this poor girl’s fault—hell, she’s mortified, too. But everything is just piling on: the photographer and the music and the flowers. Those goddamned flowers that my mother has been talking about for the last hour.
“Ms. Fairchild?” Alyssa says, her voice ripe with concern. Her fingers brush over my arm, and I use the touch as an anchor to draw me out of my thoughts and back to reality. “Ms. Fairchild, are you okay?”
“She’s fine,” my mother says firmly. “This can only be considered a good thing. It gives her a chance to find a dress that might actually flatter her figure.”
Alyssa’s eyes are wide, and she’s staring at my mother like she’s never met such a creature before. Hell, she probably hasn’t.
“Come on, Nichole. This is Beverly Hills. I’m sure we can find you a gown.”
“Get the hell out of here.” I did not plan the words, but I know the moment that they are out that I mean them with all my heart.
“Excuse me?”
“Texas,” I say. “Go back to Texas, Mother. Go now.”
“Texas! But, Nichole, how—”
“It’s Nikki, ” I snap. “How many times do I have to tell you? You don’t listen.”
Beside us, I see Alyssa lick her lips and then fade into the background. At the glass desk, the thin girl seems overly interested in the single piece of paper on the surface.
I really don’t give a shit. Right then, decorum is the last thing on my mind.
“I can’t possibly go to Texas now. I’d miss the wedding.”
“That’s the idea,” I say. “I’ll have Grayson fly you. You’ll need to leave today so that he can be back in plenty of time. He is invited,” I add, my voice syrupy sweet.
“Darling, I’m your mother. You can’t ask me not to be at your wedding.”
I hesitate for just a moment, just long enough to hear Damien’s voice in my head talking about choices and paths and where they lead. And this choice leads to my wedding day. To a day of celebration. Or to a day with my mother harping in my ear. The woman who has, in so many ways, gone out of her way to steal the joy out of so many moments in my life.
“Nichole, don’t do this. I need—” She cuts herself off, her lips clamping tightly shut.
I take a deep breath, suddenly realizing that I’ve been more of an idiot than I thought. My mother didn’t come here because my impending wedding spurred her to repair our relationship. And she didn’t come because she wanted to apologize for the horrible things she said to Damien.
She came because she spent every dime our family had a long time ago, and she sees a new cash cow in me. I don’t know what it is she needs—a new house, a new car, investment capital. I don’t know, and I don’t care. She’s not getting a dime of my money, and she’s sure as hell not getting Damien’s.
“Goodbye, Mother.”
“Nichole, no. You can’t do this.”
“You know what, Mother? I can.” I head for the door, my heart feeling lighter and my step springier. I glance back at her and smile. “And for that matter, why don’t you go ahead and find your own way home?”
Chapter Eight
“You’re amazing,” Damien says that night when I tell him what I did. “You once told me that you didn’t have the balls to stand up to your mother.” We’re in the swimming-pool-size bathtub, facing each other, our legs touching.
“I still don’t have balls,” I say with a laugh.
“Sure you do.” He reaches for my hand and tugs me toward him, then very deliberately cups my hand over his package. “These are all yours.”