“Okay, you go first.”
“Nope. Not yet. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I chewed on my lower lip. Did I have the courage to do this? Making the split-second decision that I wasn’t yet ready to probe into anything deeper—like where he and I stood—I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “I know about the threesome.”
Braydon didn’t even blink. “Am I in trouble?”
I considered it. But it happened before he met me. It’d be completely unfair to be mad at him about something that had happened in his past. “No, you’re not. I was just surprised is all. I wish you had told me.”
“Emmy told you, I take it?”
“She knew about your piercing, and when I pressed about how she knew . . . she told me the story.” He nodded, like he understood this wasn’t something that could be kept secret forever. It had to come out eventually. Emmy and I were best friends. “Is it weird for you now? Being around Ben and Emmy?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nah. I don’t really think about it. I knew it was a one-time thing. Ben and I had done that type of thing before, and it was never a big deal. It was something we did for fun.”
He and I had very different ideas of fun. “Is that something you’d want to . . . would you share me with someone?”
“No.” His voice was firm. “I have no desire to do that again. And I have no interest in sharing your sweet little body with anyone.”
Satisfied with his answer, I knew I had to let it go. Though I knew the next time we were all together, I would have a hard time not picturing the three of them in compromising positions, wondering about the mechanics of how it all went down. I shook my head, clearing my mind. Braydon had said there was something he wanted to talk to me about, and I still had to work up what I wanted to say about some of our bigger issues. Focus, Ellie. “Okay, now that the weirdness is out of the way . . . what did you want to talk about?”
He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and grinned down at me, as if he was proud about how mature I was being about his past. “I’m leaving for Maui next week and I’ll be gone for two weeks.”
“Oh.” Two whole weeks without any texts and visits from Braydon to look forward to? It hurt more than it should. The wine churned in my stomach.
“I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’d like you to come with me.”
“What?” That wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I thought he was going to chastise me for getting too close, for wanting things he’d told me we’d never have. “Ben and Emmy will be there, too. I thought it might be fun.”
“I can’t. I have to work, Braydon.”
“I know, but I thought perhaps you could use a vacation. And I thought it’d be nice to have you there.” He smiled at me warmly, making my heart flutter erratically.
All the things I wanted to say to him about his reluctance to be seen with me went out the window. He was inviting me to Hawaii. That spoke louder than anything, didn’t it?
“I do have a week of vacation time saved up.” The idea of spending a week in the sun with Braydon, Ben, and Emmy sounded heavenly. “I’ll ask my boss about it tomorrow.”
“That’s a good girl.” I smiled at the endearment, gazing up at him like a lovesick fool. “I work better when I’m having regular orgasms, so you being there will be very helpful.” He chuckled.
My stomach dropped, and I let out an exasperated sigh. That was why he invited me? I couldn’t be some kept woman, a mistress hidden away in his hotel room. I had a job, a life, a brain. I was more than just a vagina for him to sink into whenever he pleased. “That’s why you want me there? Newsflash: I’m not just a warm hole to be used for your enjoyment.” I felt like punching him, but I kept my composure.
“Of course you’re not,” he quickly recovered. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. The truth is, I love hanging out with you. You’re fun as shit, and we have great sex. I know you’re not going to deny that.”
“Well, no,” I murmured weakly.
“I’d like you to come on the trip with me because I think it would be good for both of us.”
“We’ll see.” I wanted to be sure that I was protecting myself and could handle an entire week with him.
“Well, think about it.” He rose to his feet and, to my complete surprise, left the apartment without saying good-bye. What the hell? His wineglass sat untouched on the coffee table where he’d left it. Was he trying to give me space to think, or was this some kind of test?
The entire week passed without a single word from Braydon. I hadn’t texted or called him either, but he was the guy, he was supposed to chase me, right? I knew he was leaving for Hawaii in two days—I found out from Emmy. And I hated myself for it, but I went ahead and inquired about the time off with my boss. She’d said it was totally fine and probably long overdue. Which only frustrated me more. I could have the time off if I wanted it. I just didn’t want to give in so easily. Braydon hadn’t clarified if he’d be paying my way, if we’d share a hotel room, or what sort of rules would apply to this part of our arrangement. I had enough money in my savings to cover the flight and hotel, but still—I hated all these questions swirling in my brain. I wished there were a guidebook for this. If you’re invited on vacation to be someone’s f**k buddy, what are the expectations?
My cell phone rang and I sprinted across my apartment, lunging for it. “Hello?”
“Hey, Ells,” Emmy said.
“Oh. Hi.”
She laughed. “Geez, nice to hear from you, too.”
“Sorry, I just, thought it might be . . . never mind.”
“Bray?”
“Yeah.”
She sighed. “You guys still aren’t talking?”
“Nope.”
She grumbled something unintelligible into the phone. “Sheesh, you two are more stubborn than Ben and I ever were.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I picked at a hangnail on my thumb.
“It means you both want each other, yet you’re too damn stubborn to admit it and take what you want.”
“So what should I do?”
“Suck it up and call him. Tell him you want to go to Hawaii.”
“I can’t do that, Emmy.”
“Why the hell not? Are you insane? Piña coladas on the beach . . . warm sand . . . sun . . . me . . . hello? It’s gonna be awesome.”