Staring out at the moonlit sea, Alex tried to get a handle on the rampaging emotions crashing through her. Her mind was alive with careening thoughts that rushed up to be noticed then were swallowed and replaced by the next one. In fact, the only thing she was truly sure of was that she did love Garrett King. Infuriating as he was, she loved him.
They’d known each other such a short time, it was hard to believe. But the simple fact was, as her mother had always told her, love didn’t come with a timetable. It was either there or it wasn’t and no amount of waiting would change that.
Her heart ached and her mind whirled. There was misery along this road and she knew it. Garrett had made no secret of the fact that he wasn’t interested in a relationship. And even if he were, their lives were so different. They didn’t even live on the same continent! What possible chance was there for anything more than what they had already shared?
Taking hold of the iron railing in front of her, she squeezed tightly in response to the tension within.
A moment later, Garrett joined her, and her heart sped into a gallop. She glanced at him. He was wearing the slacks he’d abandoned what felt like hours ago, but he was barefoot and shirtless and his broad, sculpted chest seemed to be begging for her touch. She gripped the handrails to keep from giving in to that urge.
“Alex, we really need to talk.”
“That never bodes well,” she replied, deliberately turning her gaze on the ever-shifting surface of the water below.
He stood beside her. Close, but not touching and still, she felt the heat from his body sliding into hers.
“It’s too late to do a damn thing about it, but none of that should have happened, Alex.”
She stiffened. He still regretted being with her. How would he react, she wondered, if he knew she loved him? She glanced over the railing to the sand ten stories below. He’d probably jump.
“No doubt you’re right.”
“Huh.” She felt more than saw him turn his gaze on her. “You surprise me. I expected a different reaction.”
Alex steeled herself then turned to look up into his eyes. “What were you thinking? Keening? Gnashing of teeth?” She gave him a smile that felt stiff and wooden. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“Not disappointed. Just surprised.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be,” she said, silently congratulating herself on how calm and cool she sounded. Honestly, if she weren’t a princess, she should think of going on the stage. “You’d already made yourself quite clear on the subject, and, as I’ve mentioned, I’m not an idiot, Garrett. I know that we don’t suit. I know we mean nothing to each other and that this isn’t going anywhere....”
Those words ripped a new hole in the fabric of her heart, but better she say them than him.
“I didn’t say you mean nothing to me, Alex,” he said, laying his hands on her shoulders and turning her so that she faced him.
God, she didn’t want to look into his eyes. Didn’t want to feel the heat of him spearing through her body. Didn’t want to think about the pain she would feel when she was gone and back in the palace.
The only way to get through any of it was to pretend none of it mattered.
So she gave him that forced smile again and hoped he wouldn’t notice. “Ah, yes, I forgot,” she quipped. “I do mean something to you after all. Quite a hefty paycheck, I’m guessing.”
“I didn’t say that, either,” he ground out.
“You haven’t said much, Garrett,” she told him. “What else am I to think?”
“That you’re an amazing, smart, funny, incredibly sexy princess.”
“It always comes back to that, doesn’t it?” she mused, stepping out of his grip and turning to face the sea again. “If I’d known how you would focus on that, I would have worn my crown while we were in bed together.”
“I don’t give a damn for your crown, Alex,” he snapped, voice near growling now. “In fact this would all be a hell of a lot easier if you weren’t a princess. You think your father would be thrilled to know that I’m here with you?”
“What’s my father got to do with any of this?”
Clearly exasperated, he snapped, “I’ve done security work for royalty all over the globe. You know what’s the one thing they all have in common? They don’t get involved with non-royals. Hell, I’ve got more money than a lot of them, but I’m still a ‘commoner.’ You think your father feels any different?”
“Probably not.”
“Exactly.” Garrett shook his head. “It all comes down to that, Princess.”
“Story of my life,” she murmured, sliding a glance at him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Please,” she scoffed. “Do you think you’re the only man who has run screaming into the night trying to escape the glare of the palace? You’re not.” Shaking her head she added, “And for all of those that run away, dozens more run toward the crown. None of them see me, Alex. They see the princess. Some hate the very idea of royalty and others covet it. People on the outside look at the royal family and think, Isn’t it wonderful? All the pomp and pageantry. How nice to shop wherever you like and not worry about the price.
“Well,” she continued, “there’s always a price, Garrett. It’s just one that most people never see. It’s a lack of privacy. A lack of freedom and imagination. It’s being locked into centuries of tradition whether you like it or not, and it’s duty.”
Her gaze narrowed, her breath coming fast and furious, she hurried on before he could say a word. She looked up into his eyes and watched them flash with emotion, but she didn’t let that stop her.
“You think I don’t understand your ‘duty’ to protect me? Trust me when I say that’s the one thing I am all too aware of. Duty is the first thing I was taught. Duty to my country, to the citizens of Cadria and to my king. My family has ruled for centuries. Yes, Cadria is a small country, but she’s proud and it’s our duty to protect her. Keep her safe. So, yes. I understand your self-imposed duties, but it doesn’t mean I like them any more than I like the golden chains linking me to my own set of duties.”
He studied her for a long minute before speaking. When he did, he said only, “Quite a rant.”
She huffed out a short laugh. “Apparently, I have what you Americans refer to as ‘issues.’”