He nodded. “Yeah, it is, I suppose. And that’s pretty much how I feel.” He smirked slyly at me. “Maybe we should just…push the boundaries a little, and see how we feel?”
I snorted, and then giggled. “That is such a guy thing to suggest.”
“Well, I am a guy.” He glanced at his hand, which had inched up my thigh. “Am I wrong, though?”
Damn him, he knew me. That was exactly what I wanted, to ease into the idea. Get used to it, some. Part of me was full of warning, however, insinuating that just maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.
I ignored the voice and waited for Jason to kiss me. Oh, boy, did he kiss me. His tongue assaulted me, and I loved it. I pulled him closer, and he complied, crushing me perfectly against him, and I wanted to be closer still. Usually I ended up straddling his lap in the driver’s seat, but this time, that didn’t happen. I felt myself falling backward until my back was pressed into the cloth of the seat and Jason’s hot hard huge body was above me, and god…I wanted more. His mouth was on mine, but his hands…god, his hands. They teased and tantalized me. One played on my thighs, touching, tracing, carving, sliding up and down my thighs, but never pushing up under my dress. His other was on my face, at my cheek, curving down my neck to my side, arcing along the outside swell of my breast.
I let go, just a little at first. I pushed his blazer off, and then his tie, tugging down on the knot until it was loose. And then his shirt…yes, I unbuttoned his shirt. That felt so adult, so daring. So like the movies I’d watched with Nell. That, unbuttoning his shirt, I think that was my undoing. It seemed like such a…such a seductive act. His breathing was ragged as we kissed, as I bared his torso, as I played with the now-familiar fields of his pectorals and his abs.
More. I wanted more from him.
I spread my thighs apart a little and scooted down closer to the driver’s side so the hem of my dress hiked up. It was a cowardly move, manipulative, rather than just boldly asking him to touch me. He broke apart from my lips and gazed down at me.
“You are so…so beautiful, Becca.” His breath caught, and, licked his lips. “I…I love you.”
My breath left me in a whoosh. I hadn’t expected that. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, repeated the words in my head, so they’d come out smoothly. “I l-ll-love you…t-t-t-too.” I closed my eyes in mortification, because even scripting it out hadn’t been enough. I’d never been so embarrassed. The one time in my life I wanted to not stutter, and I’d ruined the moment.
I felt something hot run down my cheek.
“Hey, why are you crying?” Jason’s voice was soft, and his weight shifted off me slightly. I felt his hand move, and the radio cut off.
I opened my eyes, and his form was blurred by tears. “I…I just wanted to be able to say that back to you without messing it up. But I couldn’t.” I breathed deeply and tried to will away the tears, but they wouldn’t cooperate. “I’m—I’m so-sss-sorry.”
I felt his lips on my cheek, kissing away my tears, literally, and my heart squeezed with emotion for him. With love for him.
“Hey, Becca, look at me.” He kissed my chin, the side of my nose, my lips. “Look at me.”
I forced my eyes open and wiped them with one hand, knowing I was smudging and smearing my makeup and not caring.
“I don’t mind. I don’t care.” His gaze was serious and compassionate and so, so tender. “Hear me? I mean it. You don’t ever have to apologize. You stutter sometimes. So what? I’ve known you since we were little kids, and it’s never bothered me. Remember when I punched Danny for making fun of you? I’ll do that to anyone else who gives you a hard time.”
I breathed hard, trying for composure and not quite succeeding. “Jason…I just…” Another deep breath, and I started again. “I just know that it was a big moment, you telling me you love me. I just—I wanted to be able to say it back without ruining it with my stupid, embarrassing sss-stutter.”
Jason brushed his fingers into my hair next to my ear and kissed me, soft and sweet. “It’s not embarrassing. Not to me. You didn’t ruin anything.” He brushed a thumb over my cheekbone. “Did you mean it less because you stuttered a little bit?”
I shook my head adamantly. “No! I mean it, so much.” I hesitated, forming the words mentally. “I love you, Jason.”
He smiled at me, and then kissed my worries away. His hand moved back to my thigh and I lifted my leg into his touch, tacitly encouraging him. Now his hand dared up more, to mid-thigh, stopping at the edge of my dress. With one hand, I pushed his face away from mine so he’d look at me. While he gazed down at me, I covered his hand with mine and guided him higher. His eyes widened, and he licked his lips. I put my hands on his arm, his nape, and watched him as he dared farther. Oh…he was nearly to my hip, inches away from my most private center. My entire body was humming, thrumming with anticipation and desire. I could communicate what I felt for him without speaking—I could tell him with my hands, with my lips, with my legs and hips.
“M-more.” I didn’t even care about the slight block in my voice. “Please.”
I pushed and tugged at his shirt sleeves until his upper body was naked, and I let my hands roam his skin, barely breathing as he familiarized himself with my thighs, my bare hips. His mouth touched mine, backed away, then dipped to kiss me again. I didn’t know how far this was going to go, but I knew I didn’t want it to stop. I was afraid, yes, I felt that in me coiled around the desire. We couldn’t take back this pushing of lines. Now that I knew how his naked skin felt beneath my hands, I’d never be able to go without it. Kissing would lead here now. It was like falling over an edge; once you lost your balance and began the tumble, you couldn’t stop your descent.
I knew this, yet still I reached up with one hand and, as Jason watched with wide eyes, slid one sleeve off my arm, and then the other. One slight tug would be all it took for me to bare my br**sts to him. He swallowed, and my eyes followed the bobbing of his adam’s apple. I caressed the hard line of his jaw with one hand, and with the other I bared myself to his gaze.
Oh god, I wanted to cover myself. My skin tightened, my heart galloped, and I blinked hard against the nerves and embarrassment. His nostrils flared and his eyes went saucer-wide, and his fingers clawed into my hipbones. I could only lie there and wait for his reaction, for what he’d do, what he’d say.