He nodded, mind moving quickly.
"It will only take a few more weeks to track down Jenner," he said. "I've already been thinking about where we should…" His voice trailed off as he realized she had stiffened in his arms.
"Jess, you have to give this up," she said softly.
"What do you mean?"
"You have to give up this hunt you're on," she said. Her eyes searched his anxiously. "We're going to have a child, Jess. Taking care of that child has to be our primary responsibility."
Some of the joy faded as he realized what she was saying.
"Bethany, I know where Jenner is," he said. "She's on her way to Jezra; she only left a few days ago. All we have to do is go there and get her. Then we'll be free."
"We're free already," she said, shaking her head. "If we keep chasing after her, who knows how much longer it will take."
"Two weeks," he repeated. "All we need is two more weeks."
"You thought she would be here," Bethany countered. "You swore to me that she would be here, that we'd be finished with this by now. You have no way of knowing whether she'll be there or not, do you?"
"If she's not there then she'll be on Karos."
"Karos?" Bethany exclaimed, her tone rising in distress. "That's half way across the Empire. I've been studying, you know. I know where things are. It's also the Pilgrim homeworld. You'll have no way of getting to her there. You'll stick out; they'll catch you immediately. There is no way I'll allow you to take me to Karos"
"You don't allow me to do anything," he said, his emotions twisting and turning so quickly he could hardly keep up. "I'm the one in charge. You do what I say."
She stood back from him, both hands planted on her hips.
"Are you prepared to be a father to this child?" she asked. "Because if you are, then you have no business following some damn stupid quest for revenge. You'll get yourself killed, and then where will we be? Where will your child be?"
He shook his head, forcibly restraining himself from reaching out and shaking her. She just didn't understand. He had to find Jenner. He had to make her pay for what she'd done to him, to Calla; if he didn't, she would haunt him forever.
"I see you're more interested in getting your revenge than taking care of your family," Bethany said quietly, her face bleak. She turned and walked away from him. He strode after her, grabbing her arm.
She stiffened, glaring at him until he let her go.
"I would prefer to sleep in one of the other rooms tonight," she said. "I've been feeling sick, and I think we'd both be more comfortable that way."
She was lying; she just wanted to get away from him. He opened his mouth to disagree with her, then closed it slowly. She was right. It was better to take a little time and let their emotions cool off. They could discuss things again in the morning. He had too much to think about right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was say something he'd regret.
Nodding abruptly, he turned away from her. She disappeared into one of the rooms, and he wandered over to the kitchen to grab some food. His thoughts moved at a thousand miles per second. There was a baby growing in her belly, his baby. They were going to be a family.
His frustration fled before the thought, and a silly grin came across his face. Grabbing a meat roll, he wandered into his room and flopped down on the bed.
He was going to be a daddy. Life was good.
* * * * *
Bethany sat and brushed her hair. Again and again she pulled the brush through the brown locks, the childhood ritual comforting in its familiarity. It was much shorter now, a remnant of what she'd once had.
She smiled wryly, remembering how afraid she'd been when Jess had whipped out that enormous knife and cut her free with it. She knew now he would never deliberately hurt her, at least not physically. She'd thought he was going to kill her back then, but what he'd done instead was far more devious. He'd made her fall in love with him and now he was ripping her heart out.
She had been patient with his quest. She didn't like chasing Jenner, but she liked being with Jess. She understood he had his demons to lay to rest. But it wasn't just about her anymore—it was about their baby. After the first euphoria of discovery had worn off earlier that afternoon, she'd given her situation a lot of thought. She knew how determined Jess was to find and kill Jenner. She also knew that she and her child wouldn't be safe on such a quest, especially if that quest led them to Karos. She'd given him his chance to accept the baby and give up his hatred, but he had thrown in back in her face.
She was going to have to leave him.
A traitorous part of her mind whispered at her to stay, to give him another chance. After all, he might be right. Jenner might be at the next port they visited. Or she might not be there. Then what? They would go on to Karos, the root of all Pilgrim activity. Just the thought of it made her shiver in horror. He was almost sure to be captured there, and if he were captured, she would be, too. She would probably live; they would see value in a pregnant woman. But there was no way she'd risk such a life for her child, not after she'd seen what the other options were. She was going to have her baby in freedom. Her baby wouldn't grow up to be a Pilgrim no matter what she had to do, no matter how painful it would be.
Standing, she pulled her hair back out of the way and fastened it carefully. She stood, stretched, and took a minute to breath deeply, calming herself for the task ahead. She already had what she needed hidden in one of the drawers. It only took a second to get it out and slide it into her pocket.
She opened the door and stepped into the main room. As she suspected, he had already gone to bed.
He had to be tired after his hunt; he always was. That, combined with the sedative she'd dribbled over his meat rool , would be enough to weaken him. She took another deep breath and forced a calm smile on to her face. Time to face him.
She opened the door to the suite they usually shared. A small, dim light glowed against one of the walls.
He had fixed it there for her, she remembered painfully. One night she'd tried to go to the fresher and tripped. He hadn't mentioned it beyond checking to see if she was all right, but the next night the little light had been glowing. He was so thoughtful of her needs. How was it that he could be oblivious to the fact that his woman and child needed him now?
She shook her head, pushing the thoughts away. Time to focus on her task.
He was lying in bed, apparently asleep, but as she approached his eyes cracked open.
"Bethany?" he asked. He reached out one arm for her, struggling to sit up. Her heart clenched again.