Catching her had been child's play for him, she thought in disgust. "Why did you come after me, Jess?"
For the first time, some of that cold anger left his face. He looked a little surprised.
"What did you think I would do?" he asked.
"I thought you would go after Jenner. By chasing me here you may have lost track of her."
"I'll find her eventually," he replied coldly. "But I couldn't just let you go traipsing off. You have no survival skills. You'd end up dead or enslaved at this rate."
She lifted her chin defiantly.
"I don't think you're giving me enough credit,' she said. "I didn't just take off without a plan, you know. I did my research. I certainly had enough time trapped alone on the ship to do it," she added bitterly.
"And just what was this brilliant plan?" he asked, sneering. "And what about my child? How did he factor into your thinking? Or were you going to get rid of him?"
"I would never do that!" she gasped, one hand rising to cover her stomach protectively. "What kind of monster do you think I am?"
"The kind who would stab a man with a hypodermic while he's sleeping," he said.
"I did what I had to do to escape," she countered. "You of all people should understand that. You've had a bit of experience doing it yourself."
He didn't reply, instead pinning her with a dark, steady look that made her want to drop her eyes. She forced herself to meet his gaze. She wasn't ashamed of what she'd done.
"Why did you do it?" he asked finally. "I thought you were happy with me. You told me you loved me.
Was all that a lie to get me to let down my guard?"
She stood and paced across then room, filled with sudden anger. She forced herself to take several deep breaths, trying to regain her calm before replying to him.
"You are such an ass," she finally said, her voice controlled and tight with suppressed emotion. "I am pregnant. We are going to have a child. Do you understand what that means?"
"It means we're going to have a child," he said, voice smooth. "I thought you were happy about that.
You certainly seemed happy enough when you first told me about it."
"I am happy about it," she said, shaking her head in disgust. "As far as I'm concerned it's a miracle. I never thought I would be lucky enough to have a child. But you don't seen to be prepared to give us a fresh start. I don't want to go through this pregnancy as your prisoner. I don't want to go through this traipsing around looking for some old Pilgrim woman who hurt you and your sister. You have to let this go; we have a life to build together. It isn't just about us any more. It's about the baby. He or she deserves more than this! Can't you understand that?"
He stayed quiet for a moment, then spoke.
"Jenner would be dead by now if you hadn't run away," he said. "This would all be a moot point."
"Jenner is not the problem," she said coldly, infusing every bit of the anger and hurt she'd felt into her voice. "You are. You won't let me off the ship. You don't even tell me what world we're on half the time.
You have this quest that obsesses you, and it takes up all your time and energy. That is my problem. I don't care about Jenner. Don't you realize that even if you do kill her, Calla will still be dead?"
He stood, arms folded in front of him. She let her eyes feast on his beloved form, pleading with him silently to understand, to take her into his arms and tell her that he was ready to move on with his life.
That they could be a family.
Instead, he turned away and strode out the door. As he left, he spoke.
"Get yourself strapped in," he said. "We're leaving."
"Where are we going?" she asked, terrified of the answer.
"To Karos."
She shuddered and collapsed into a chair. They'd come so far, and now they were heading right back into a nest of Pilgrims. The nest of Pilgrims.
Jess was going to get all of them killed before he was finished.
* * * * *
The truce between them was ugly.
Unlike before, she was no longer willing to pretend that everything might turn out all right, to tell herself that once he found Jenner, it would be over. They had arrived at Karos, the very planet where the Celestial Pilgrim had been born and first started sharing his message more than a thousand years earlier.
The worst possible place she could imagine for her child to be born.
They had traveled a long way to get here, out of Saurellian space and half way across the Empire. All based on a rumor that Jenner had been headed this way. How many more rumors would there be? Even if this were their last stop, would it be because Jenner was dead, or because they'd been caught? She had no illusions that the Pilgrims of Karos would show them any mercy.
A wall of ice now stood between them. They still slept together at night, still had sex. Intellectually they were in such different places that they couldn't communicate, but at night their bodies spoke for them in a dance of love and frustrated concern. Sometimes he fell asleep with his hand placed wide over her belly, as if trying to send some kind of message to the tiny baby growing inside. Would that baby live to meet its father?
Now they were in orbit above Karos, and he was ready to put his carefully crafted plan into action. He would claim to be a messenger from the mining belt, a merchant who had once done business with Jenner. He was passing through on business and was bringing her some money he owed her. It was a plausible enough scheme, according to Jess. He knew the man in question, knew that Jenner had often invested in his trading expeditions. Jess insisted that the man was honorable enough to pay her if given the opportunity, so he doubted that Jenner would suspect anything.
She wanted to scream at him, to force him to give up this foolishness. It was hopeless. Instead, she sat on the couch and watched as he sent a message to the surface from the vid terminal. With any luck, the promise of money would get Jenner's attention. Then he turned to her, his face softening.
"Bethany, I know you have trouble accepting this, but this will be over soon."
She shook her head, unwilling to go through the same argument again. He sighed, then ran a hand through his hair. They both knew what would happen next. He would wait for Jenner's response, then track her down on the planet's surface. While he was risking his life in search of vengeance, Bethany would be forced to wait for him on the ship. Caged. Of course, it was probably comfortable enough in there, and she knew that he had programmed the ship's computer to release her if he didn't come back for some reason.