Oh my God.
My daughter had been looking for furniture for the home she shared with me.
And oh my God, my kids didn’t mind that I was dating and wanted them to meet somebody.
I felt something strange and my eyes drifted from my daughter clicking the mouse to my son.
The instant I caught his gaze, he looked away and mumbled, “I approve of everything so don’t bother asking me.”
He then strolled out.
“Look, Mom, here it is! Isn’t this the bomb?” Pippa cried.
I looked at a four-poster bed that looked made of logs.
It was absolutely “the bomb.”
I rolled forward, ordering, “Scooch, kid, let me see.”
Pippa scooched.
Fifteen minutes later, I’d ordered a log bed off the Internet.
Twenty minutes after that, I’d ordered all the linens for that bed.
And an hour after that, my girl sitting on a stool she’d dragged from the kitchen bar (I really needed more furniture in the den) and I were still online furniture shopping.
* * * * *
“Don’t stay up too late, kiddo. I’m off to bed,” I said to Auden who was lounged on the couch in front of the TV, surrounded by schoolbooks, notebooks and his tablet.
It was late. His sister had gone to bed half an hour ago. Auden was still doing homework. The TV was on, but as only kids could do, he was sitting in front of it with it blaring but most of his attention was on his work.
I put my hands to the arms of the chair I was in and started to push up when Auden’s eyes came to me.
“He fucks you over, you get rid of him.”
I froze.
“Auden,” I whispered.
“The minute he fucks you over, Mom, get rid of him,” he ordered, his voice low and there was a tremor of emotion that cut deep.
I rested my behind back to the seat and kept my focus on my son.
“First,” I said quietly, “I’m not fond of your language.”
Auden didn’t reply, he just continued staring at me.
“Second,” I went on, “is there something you want to share with me?”
“Dad screwed you over and it messed you up,” he declared instantly.
God, direct hit.
“I know, kiddo, and I’m sorry I made that so easy for you to see.”
He shook his head forcefully. “No. That’s not what I mean. Dad screwed you over and it messed you up, Mom. You’re good now. You got through it. But you know better than me that guys can be dicks. Don’t let this guy be a dick to you.”
“I learned something from what happened before, sweets,” I assured him. “And whatever’s in my future with a man, or even getting a hangnail, I’m not going to allow that to happen again. And by that I mean I’m not going to fall apart.”
He stopped lounging and leaned toward me. “No,” he repeated emphatically. “Just don’t let this guy be a dick to you.”
I stared at my boy and tried to read anything I could that he wasn’t giving to me verbally.
When I couldn’t find it, even though I sensed it was there, I started, “What happened between me and your father—”
Auden interrupted me, “I had no control over that. But I will over this. If I see this guy being a dick to you, then I’m doing something about it.”
“Auden,” I began cautiously, “is there something you aren’t telling me?”
That was when he broke my gaze, still looking toward me but now doing it beyond me. “Just that I’m not letting anyone be a dick to my mom.”
That felt nice. Incredibly nice.
I still sensed that wasn’t it.
“If you have something you need to talk about, I hope you know you can talk to me,” I told him earnestly but solemnly, hoping he didn’t also read my anxiety.
Auden didn’t say anything.
“Mickey’s a really good man, honey,” I shared. “He’s got two kids of his own and he’s a great dad.” I leaned his way and dropped my voice. “He makes me laugh and he takes care of me and he makes me happy. And I hope you know I wouldn’t put you through introducing you to somebody who I didn’t think would be around for a good long while.”
Auden again looked right at me. “I’m glad he makes you laugh and you’re happy. But if he’s a dick to you, Mom, he’s gone.”
I again tried to read my son.
I again sensed something there that I couldn’t read.
And he obviously didn’t want to share it.
So I said, “I think that’s a fair deal.”
Auden nodded and looked back at the TV.
I decided to end it there, got up and went around the back of the couch. When I was in position, I leaned deep and kissed the top of his head.
“Love you, my baby boy, forever and ever,” I whispered.
“Love you too, Mom,” he mumbled in return.
I closed my eyes, throat getting clogged, swallowed to clear it and straightened away.
“Sleep tight,” I said as I moved toward my room, snagging my phone off the kitchen counter on the way there.
“Yeah. You too,” Auden called back.
I got behind closed door and instantly called Mickey.
Within a couple of rings, just like Mickey, he picked up.
I told him the good news, that Auden and Olympia were open to meet him.
I did not tell him my ex referred to him to my children as a Neanderthal. He’d done that to Mickey’s face and Mickey didn’t like it. He didn’t need to get upset about Conrad saying it to my kids.
Then I told him the not-so-good news about the intense conversation I just had with my son.
I ended this with, “What do you think that was about?”
“Haven’t met your boy, babe, don’t know anything about him but what you’ve told me. But if my dad did my mom the way his dad did his, I may have gotten caught up in the hurricane and its aftermath, but when things settled down, I’d be thinkin’. Men look to our fathers to show us the man we should be. He’s at an age where that’s gonna be some intense scrutiny. And I’m thinkin’ he doesn’t like what he’s seein’.”
“I don’t want that for him,” I said uneasily.
“Could just be him mannin’ up,” Mickey added. “He’s of an age to do that too. His mom is dating. She got fucked over. He wants you to know he’s lookin’ out for you. I’d do that for my mom too. Any good son would look after his mother.”
I liked that idea better.