I had to trust in him and in the fates that brought him to me. And I had to trust that having him, thus having happiness, the fates wouldn’t then sweep it all away.
I drew in breath and focused on my daughter.
“Okay, do we want pie? And I didn’t ask, did you guys get your schoolwork done? This was a big night for us and we were all busy preparing. But now there’s time so you can hit it without having to stay up until midnight.”
Pippa stared at me in blank surprise.
“I got stuff to do,” Auden shared.
I looked to my son. “You want to do it eating pie?”
He was examining me closely.
He stopped doing that, gave me a gentle grin and asked, “Am I Auden Moss?”
“You are,” I confirmed, grinning back. It might be forced but damn it, I did it.
“Then…totally,” Auden answered about the pie.
“Okay. I’ll get pie,” I said. “You get your books.” I turned my attention back to Pippa. “Sweets? How about you?”
She kept staring at me a moment before she snapped out of it and told me, “I have a paper to write.”
“Oh God, I hope it isn’t a long one,” I mumbled.
“It’ll go faster with pie,” she declared.
I winked at her and replied, “Gotcha. Need my laptop?”
“I have mine.”
“Okay. Let’s get on it,” I said, moving back to the pie.
I was quaking inside and I let that happen.
Outside, I was holding it together.
Maybe one day I’d be able to completely deal.
Maybe not.
It didn’t matter.
This was working.
* * * * *
The TV was playing. The kids were on the couch watching it. I was in my armchair with a full glass of wine I hadn’t touched in an hour and a half.
My eyes were to the television but my mind was on my phone, which was sitting at the base of my wineglass on the table beside me.
I was still quaking inside and now it was worse. It was lucky I was sitting down because I could give the appearance of relaxed lounging when I was not relaxed in the slightest.
It was after eleven. And it was precisely three hours and forty-two minutes since Mickey rushed out to fight a fire on the jetty.
How long did it take to fight a fire?
My phone rang and I couldn’t contain my jump, which I fancied sent me inches into the air in my chair.
I sensed my kids jumping with me.
I looked to the phone and felt a sweet release when I saw on the display that it was Mickey.
I snatched it up and leaped from the chair as I took the call and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“Hey back,” he replied as I walked the landing in front of my wall of windows.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Fire’s out,” he answered.
“Everyone’s fine?” I pushed.
“We’re all good, baby,” he said softly, but he sounded tired.
I felt my shoulders slump as I stopped, dropped my head and kept the phone to my ear.
“Good,” I whispered then suddenly lifted my head, twisted and gave a thumb’s up and a reassuring smile to my kids, both of whom were looking over the couch at me.
Pippa clapped silently and Auden gave me a relieved grin.
I turned my attention back to my feet. “Was there a lot of damage?”
“Four shops gutted, fire and smoke damage to the rest of the jetty. It wasn’t good, Amy. Had to call all the rigs in all over the county.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
“Yeah. Haven’t had anything this big in at least ten, eleven years. We’re waitin’ for the cool down so the chief and captains can go in, have a look. But this is a new build. Chief did the inspections himself. No way this shoulda gotten this out of control.”
This did not make me feel great but I was talking to Mickey who sounded tired but obviously was alive so I pushed past that and asked, “What are you saying?”
“I’m sayin’ by the time I got here, there were three rigs here and three shops were already gone. Buildings that are less than a year old made of modern materials, fire alarms and state-of-the art fire protection systems.”
“Are you saying—?”
He cut me off. “Right now I’m sayin’ we’ll finish this later. I just wanted you to know all was good. Most of the shops were closed, civilians that were around got out. No one hurt. We’re hosin’ it down, makin’ sure all the sparks are out. Gonna be a while before I get home.”
“I’ll have my phone on my nightstand.”
“What?” he sounded distracted.
“I’ll have my phone on my nightstand,” I told him. “Call me, text me, whatever before you come home. I just want to see you before you go to sleep. I’ll run over and just…see you then let you go in and crash. Would you mind doing that?”
I had his full attention when he replied, “It’s late and it’s gonna be later when I get home, Amy.”
“You know I don’t mind late when it comes to you.”
I got a soft, sweet, “Right. Then I’ll get in touch, darlin’.”
“Okay, Mickey. I’ll let you go.”
“Thanks, babe. Later.”
“’Bye, honey.”
We rang off and I turned to my kids.
“So he’s okay?” Auden asked for confirmation.
“He is,” I nodded, moving back to them. “Everyone is. It’s all good. I mean,” I positioned my behind over the chair and fell into it, “not the jetty, which sustained a lot of damage. But the important part. The people.”
“Bummed,” Pippa murmured then jerked her head and assured me, “Not about Mickey. Totes happy he’s good, Mom. Just that there are a lot of awesome shops on the jetty. I hope the good ones didn’t get toasted.”
“Olympia Moss, ground zero on new mental illness. Shopping on the brain,” Auden said, his tone having an edge of nasty but it was this in subtle rebuke, stating in his big brother way he thought she’d been insensitive.
“Auden! Shut up!” she snapped.
Auden opened his mouth but I got there before him, doing it straightening out of the chair I’d just collapsed in, taking my wine with me.
“Okay, kiddos, no fighting. I know Pip didn’t mean anything by what she said. But Mom’s had a rough night. The meeting of her beloved children with a man she cares about who is officially now in all of our lives and that man racing off to fight a fire before having his pie. I need to sip wine in a hot bath and then go to sleep. Can I do that without you two killing each other in front of the TV?”