So I was setting up to tell him his ex had made the colossal step toward recovery…for her kids.
“You guys sittin’ at my bar, drinkin’ tea, think you’re right,” he agreed.
“Ash wanted her mom to know I was cool,” I kept explaining. “I think she wanted her to know that everyone was moving on and it was good and she was trying to make it so her mom moved on with the rest of us.”
Mickey didn’t say anything.
“Anyway, how was the visit with Rhiannon?” I asked, hoping he’d give me a natural lead in to share about his ex-wife.
“Get this, the woman is in AA.”
My mouth dropped open before I used it to ask, “I’m sorry?”
“Obviously had to have a word with her to tell her what was up with Ash and the shit Cillian spewed. Took her out outside to chat. Told her what went down and what was said. Thought that would be yet another fantastic conversation for this stellar Thanksgiving.”
I closed my eyes again.
I opened them when he went on, “She then tells me she’s been in AA for a while, it’s goin’ good, she hasn’t had a drink since the night of town council meeting, and if I’m good with it, we can share that with the kids.”
This was great.
“Did you?” I asked.
“Yeah. Cillian didn’t know what to do with it and neither of them did cartwheels, but Rhiannon didn’t expect that. She knows she’s got things to prove and that’s gonna be a long haul. But it was somethin’. She never admitted to having a problem. Now the woman’s in AA?” He paused before finishing, “It was definitely something.”
“I should tell you,” I began carefully. “She shared this with me at Bed Bath and Beyond.”
“Say again?”
“She told me she was in recovery. She didn’t put pressure on for me not to tell you but she did say she wanted to do it herself. Since it’s hers, I agreed.”
He was silent a second.
I fretted that second.
Then he said, “Since you and me got a future, you two gotta establish your own relationship and with that comes trust. Sucks she put you in that position but you probably made the right decision for her.”
I liked his mention about us having a future but I still asked, “Was it the right decision for you?”
“Guess if your ex came and shared somethin’ important with me that affects you and your kids that he didn’t want to share with you. Somethin’ I know might strain things between him and me when we all gotta try to keep shit loose and good. Somethin’ I know might strain things between you and me. I got no good choice. Then he shares it with you a few weeks later. If that ever happens, I’ll be able to answer if it was right or not.”
“Are things…strained?” I pushed.
“Babe, you didn’t keep her secret for eternity.” I could hear the grin in his voice. “Relax.”
“Hard to relax after this day,” I told him.
“No shit,” he replied.
“Are we okay?” I asked.
“Amy.” He said my name, said nothing for very long, terrifying moments, then he gave me what I needed. “I love you. I told you that. I meant it. I meant it in a way you needed to know so you’d know I want a part in your future, which means you definitely got your part in mine. You gave that back to me, tellin’ me you want the same thing. We had a rocky day. We’re fucked if we can’t get through the first rocky day we have together and do it whole.”
I slid down the bed and rolled to my side, curling up like I could curl his words into me.
“Amy?” he called when I didn’t say anything.
“I’m here.”
“Are you okay?”
“Your ex-wife is in recovery. My ex-husband has outed himself for the loser cheat he is and the kids want to live with me. There is no longer any mystery around all the things Aisling is coping with, which means those who care about her can focus on helping her through them in a more directed way. I know why my kids were escaping their father. And you and I survived all that because I love you and you love me. It seems I actually do give awesome holiday.”
He burst out laughing.
I stayed curled up and listened.
When he stopped laughing, he asked softly, “So you love me, Amy?”
“I so love you, Mickey.”
“Trial by fire today, baby. The extremes we waded through today proves we’ll get through anything.”
I curled deeper into myself, curling that knowledge to me, that he believed it and him doing that made me believe it, and replied, “Yeah.”
“More good, your brother is fuckin’ cool.”
Mickey liked Lawrie.
I loved that.
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“You got a good son,” he stated, surprising me. “He did what he did, gettin’ in your face, to protect his sister who took some hits from their dad before they got to you.”
I hadn’t thought of it that way but thinking it then, I knew what I already knew.
I did have a good son.
He didn’t go about it the right way but at least he tried.
“Yeah,” I repeated.
“And your girl’s got courage. You laid her out like that, no mercy, your brother backin’ you, she’s got nowhere to turn. She pulls it up to ask Ash to talk. Says a lot, Amy. She’s gonna make it.”
She would.
God, I hoped she would.
“Yeah,” I said.
“We’ll all be okay,” he promised me.
I hoped that too.
“I’d be better now with your arms around me,” I told him.
“We’ll arrange that, soon’s we can.”
I sighed.
“You in bed?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Go to sleep. I’ll call in the mornin’ to check how things are goin’. Then I want you to call me after you have your meet with your ex.”
“Okay, Mickey.”
“Right, love you, baby.”
I sighed again through my, “Love you too, Mickey.”
“’Night.”
“’Night.”
We disconnected and I reached out to put my phone to the nightstand.
I stared at it.
I did not go to sleep.
I got out of bed, put on my robe and walked to my daughter’s room.
I knocked and got no answer, so I went in.
The room was dark.
I moved to her bed, sat on it and gently slid her hair off her neck.