“That sounds unpleasant,” I noted and the residual grin from his laughter turned into a smile.
“Suffice it to say, I don’t know you too well and I like you a whole lot more than I liked them,” he replied.
And one could say I liked that.
But I shouldn’t like that. I shouldn’t anything that.
Even so, I needed to make a response so I did it mumbling, “That’s good.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Bad neighbors suck.”
Considering our first meeting he had to rescue me from my infuriated, foul-mouthed ex-husband, I decided not to respond to that.
Mickey didn’t stick with that subject either.
Instead, he prompted, “Still got no idea why you’re here, Amelia.” His blue eyes twinkled and my stomach fluttered. “But if you’re a female fighter, that’d shock the shit out of me.”
“Oh, right,” I mumbled then cleared my throat and carried on, “I’m selling a few things and thought I’d donate the proceeds to the junior boxing league.”
Another smile from Mickey. “Fantastic.”
“House sale. Josie’s gonna help,” Jake put in and Mickey looked to him then to me.
“Got some shit I could put in. Tell me when you’re havin’ it. I’ll lug it over.”
This was not conducive to me steering clear of Mickey Donovan, but if the young boxers needed decent equipment, the more was definitely the merrier. So at least for that, I’d have to suck it up.
“Of course. I’ll make sure you know,” I replied.
“And you need help, I’m across the way,” he offered.
That wasn’t going to happen.
“Thanks,” I said, swiftly looked to Jake, stuck out my hand and continued, “It was nice meeting you. I’ll call your wife soon.”
He took my hand, squeezed it and returned, “Same meetin’ you. Sure I’ll see you again soon.”
“Yes.” I nodded and forced my attention back to Mickey. “Good to see you again, Mickey.”
Another grin. “You too, babe.”
I dipped my chin, averted my eyes, murmured, “Good-bye, gentlemen,” and walked to the door.
This got me a, “Later,” from Jake and a, “’Bye, darlin’,” from Mickey.
As I swiftly made my way through the gym, I sent a hesitant smile to the boxer still training, doing this now not punching a bag as he had been when I walked in, but jumping rope.
He smiled back distractedly but I got the impression he did it only because we met eyes.
I kept moving through the gym as his attention drifted away and something about this stung.
He was not unattractive, though he wasn’t gorgeous like Mickey and Jake. I couldn’t fathom his exact age but I guessed both Mickey and Jake were around mine, and although the rope-jumping boxer looked younger, he was nowhere near his twenties so he was not that far off.
What he was was not interested in me.
I was a woman in a boxing gym. I had breasts. I had a booty. I had long hair and it was thick and shiny.
But to him, a man perhaps in his mid-thirties, who, depending on a woman’s preferences, might not turn heads but was not a man you’d dismiss, I was a nonentity.
I’d been married to Conrad for sixteen years. We’d been together for three before that. And the three after, I’d had nothing on my mind but resentment and revenge. I hadn’t thought of a man looking at me because I hadn’t looked at a man.
Then came Maine.
And the day after I arrived…Mickey.
And it hit me then with that boxer paying absolutely no mind to me that I had no idea what a man would think of me. I had no idea if men looked at me.
Until then when I knew they didn’t.
Mickey disturbed me in a pleasant way I couldn’t allow myself to feel and I hoped I hid.
But either he was phenomenally good at hiding it himself or I didn’t disturb him in the slightest.
I figured it was the latter.
Jake was married but he didn’t even look past my eyes to my hair.
And I had good hair.
Further, the rope-jumping boxer barely glanced at me.
My ride, yes.
Me, no.
I got in my car and didn’t waste time pulling out of the spot, getting away from Mickey, burying the sting of these realizations, how deep they bit, how they made me feel—old and past my prime, insignificant, a body passing through a gym who was not female or male or anything.
I drove, resolutely turning my mind to heading home (which, alas, was across the street from Mickey).
And as I drove, I forced myself to think about the fact that I was happy I’d found a local organization that would put the money I made off my old life to good use.
I drove also troubled this involved Mickey.
And when I was getting out of my car in my garage, I was surprised when my phone rang.
The garage door was folding down as I dug my phone out of my purse, doing this with some trepidation.
I, not officially (but unofficially for certain), was severing ties with Robin, my best friend back in La Jolla. This was because she was much like my mother, spurring me on to random acts of bitchery in order to make Conrad’s (but mostly Martine’s) life a misery.
Along with coming to the understanding my mother and father were triggers, on my drive across country I’d also decided Robin was a bad influence.
She had called too and I’d texted her back. I’d email her when I had my computer set up. And according to my plan, if I couldn’t manage to adjust our friendship to something that was far healthier for me, we’d eventually become acquaintances. Something, if she brought it up, I’d blame on the distance.
I did not take this in stride and I didn’t take it lightly. Just the thought of losing Robin hurt and I hated it. Robin and I had been friends for years. We’d met at a party when Conrad had joined her husband’s practice. She was beautiful and funny and she loved my kids like I loved hers. We spent a lot of time together. We shared everything with each other. We trusted each other completely. In forty-seven years, she was the only woman I’d met who’d become the absent sister I’d always needed.
Over the past years, the rest of my friends had shied away as my random acts of bitchery carried on (and on), so Robin was the only one I had left.
But her husband had left her two years before mine did and not for a nurse, for a Pilates instructor. Thus Robin had random acts of bitchery down to an art as she’d been honing her skills way before I entered the game.
She’d been my mentor, a very good one, and we’d carried on with our shenanigans, doing it with a glee that I only very recently realized hid our despair.