She was talking to him, and he was letting her.
My mouth went dry.
Her back arched as she spoke, her leg bent up, and I could tell she was doing her best to get him to notice her breasts as she inched closer to his face.
I couldn’t see Madoc or Jax. I couldn’t see Fallon or Juliet anymore.
I could only see him drop his eyes, looking like he was struggling with what to do.
Maybe he really wanted it.
They were together once, after all. He’d enjoyed sex with her enough to go back for more. Four years had passed, he had returned to Shelburne Falls, and I still hadn’t given him my heart. Maybe he was considering it.
I would never find out, right?
Do it.
The back of my eyes burned, and my heart raced, and I wanted him to touch her. Piper would be an unforgiveable betrayal after what she’d done to me, and the pain would be extreme. My heart would get hard, just like after he’d left, and I’d be steel again.
But his angry jaw flexed like he was pissed or something, and for a moment I thought he wouldn’t, but . . .
“Oh, my God.” Fallon looked away.
Juliet looked down.
And I breathed like the room was running out of oxygen.
We all watched as he stood up and she took his hand, leading him through a back doorway to the private VIP rooms.
I slowly shook my head, watching him disappear with her. He could get a lap dance out here. Why was she taking him somewhere private?
Taking a slow sip of my beer, I straightened my back, refusing to let them see how I felt like someone had torn out my heart and stuck a knife in it.
I wanted to go home.
I wanted to go to bed and get up and read in the morning and get ready for my race and walk away from him as if he’d never mattered.
But instead I crumbled.
I gasped, dropping my head and shaking as I started crying. The tears spilled down, and I couldn’t breathe.
Oh, God, why couldn’t I breathe?
I pushed on my chest over my heart, willing it to stop trying to beat through my skin.
“Tate,” Juliet cried, grabbing me and wrapping her arms around me. “Tate, don’t.”
She buried her head in my neck, gripping me tight, and I couldn’t stand it. The cries suddenly lodged in my throat, and I needed air.
I shrugged her off and scooted out of the other side of the booth. “Just give me a minute.” And I ran for the bathrooms, through the same doorway where Jared and Piper had disappeared.
But as soon as I entered the darkened hallway, a hand clamped over my mouth, and I tried to scream. I twisted and struggled as an arm wrapped around my waist and hauled me up, carrying me through another door.
No!
My heels dropped off my feet as my legs thrashed above the ground, and I heard the door slam shut as I tried to bite and struggle away, but he had me too tight.
The hard body at my back swung us around and walked me into the closed door, his breath at my ear.
“You kill me,” he said, and the shaky breath sounded like he was almost crying.
Jared.
I stilled, sucking in short breaths through his fingers as he set me down.
His threatening whisper was filled with pain. “You really do kill me, Tate.”
He wasn’t with Piper. I had barely seen the dimly lit room when he’d walked me in here, but I had noticed seating and a table.
But no Piper.
He’d been expecting me. He’d known I was here.
He tightened his arm around my waist, and I didn’t move except for my hands shaking. I was afraid of him. He felt enraged, and I hadn’t seen him like this since the night I shut down one of his parties senior year by turning off his electricity.
“I knew the minute you walked into the club,” he growled in my ear. “I was amused. I actually thought you were jealous.”
His mouth went to my hair as he inhaled shallow breaths, clearly angry and about to lose control.
“I loved you watching me,” he said. “But then you had to pull this shit.” His voice grew hard. “She comes over saying someone bought me a lap dance, and I knew right away it was you. You really think I’m nothing, don’t you? You thought I’d want her?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t think that—”
“Then why test me?!” he yelled, cutting me off and slamming his fist into the door ahead of me, making me jump.
He let me go, and I spun around, seeing his chest rise and fall hard—and the whole time he looked at me like I’d betrayed him.
Guilt dug at my insides, and I couldn’t even look at him. I was low, and I’d assumed the worst about him, and he was beyond hurt.
Before I’d always felt either on an even keel with Jared or that I was above him. Better in some way than the guy who had bullied me for so long.
But right now, he was too good for me.
I didn’t know where Piper was, but he wasn’t with her, and that was all that mattered.
When he looked down on me, the disdain and disappointment in his eyes closed in on me like a grave.
Veering around, he grabbed the door handle, and I shot out, wrapping my arms around his chest and burying my face in his back.
“Jared, please don’t go.” My voice shook, and his body froze. “Please?” I begged. “I didn’t think you’d do anything with her,” I whispered, keeping my forehead on his back. “I wanted you to, though. I wanted it to hurt.”
He stayed still, listening to me in the quiet room.
“It’s easier to be angry and pass judgment than it is to take a chance. It feels stronger.”
I felt his chest inflate with a breath. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
I laid the side of my face on his back, hugging him close. “Nothing feels right without you. Not school or home,” I cried. “Everything is just giving me enough air to get to the next day without you. I never stopped being yours.”
He dropped his head back, letting out a sigh.
I swallowed, taking my chance. “I love you, Jared. I’ve always loved you, and I will always love you.”
There was no one but him, and even when he wasn’t around, he was. I would never be free of him—because I didn’t want to be.
Chapter 14
Jared
I lowered my head, the stress that had built up in my nerves slowly ebbing away. I couldn’t believe she’d finally just said it.
All the nights. All the time and the phone calls and texts I’d sent . . . Every day, it had seemed as if she was moving farther away from me, and the memories of her were only dreams that had never been real.