And, Sebastian began, it gets better. Now theres no need for a photographer.
I followed Sebastian into a roomformerly the parlor, now a studio with desk, computer, and easel.
Its almost finished. I just have to print it out, he said.
Sebastian went to the printer tray and handed me a glossy photo. I held it in my hand.
It was a picture of Alexander!
This will be his artists headshot, Sebastian boasted.
I was amazed. For the first time in my life, I held a picture of my vampire boyfriend. I love it! It looks exactly like you!
I used one of my image-enhancement software programs, Sebastian proudly said, and played around with some photographs I found online. I used Johnny Depp and made a few tweaks to bone structure and added pale skin, and voilà! Alexander.
It looks like a real photograph. And it looks like you! Can I keep it?
We have to give it to Mr. Lunken for the article. But I can print you another one.
Print a hundred! I ordered.
I was so distracted by finally possessing a photograph of Alexander, I almost forgot that the preppy guy standing in front of me was him.
My boyfriend tugged at the collar of his shirt and fiddled with his shoes. I watched him as he uncomfortably tried to adapt to his new image. He was trying his best to fool even himself.
We returned to the living room, where he put a log in the fireplace.
You hate it, dont you, I said.
This house is beautifuldont get me wrong, he lamented. And the clothes look great on a guy in a magazine. But
What?
I dont want to let you down.
Me? I said. Ive spent my whole life not conforming. Why would I judge you if you dont feel comfortable in an image that isnt your own?
Because if I dont do itif that reporter snoops around or it slips out that I sleep in a coffinthat I drink blood for breakfast Alexanders voice rose. It is dangerous not only for me, but for you.
I understand. I, too, was afraid Mr. Lunken would find out and reveal Alexanders true identity. But mostly for Alexanders sake.
Im not sure you do. Is this the life you really want, Raven? The one youve desired all your life? Or is it just about the fantasy of it?
What do you mean? I asked. Being a vampire had always fascinated me. I knew there were drawbacks, but werent there drawbacks to being mortal?
You are all about showing the world who you truly are. What if you couldnt anymore? he asked sincerely.
It was something I hadnt thought about. Id imagined a life of darkness and mystery, but not one where Id have to hide who I was. I dont know.
Think about it. Me, Sebastian, Jagger, even Luna. Were all in a club that no mortal wants to joinexcept for you.
But
Have you even told your own mother about me? Or Becky?
Of course not. I thought you didnt
I know. I dont. He wandered back to the mantel, stoked the fire, and gazed into the crackling flames shooting from the burning logs. But sometimes I do.
I was speechless. Alexander was so much more complicated than I could ever imagine. I did feel sorry for him. I never hid from others my thoughts and tastes, no matter how outlandish, and yet he had to keep secret everything about his lifestyle.
Sometimes I want your parents to know, he continued. Just be able to be who I am. And not have them be fearful of me. Not have them run away.
I couldnt imagine my parents running from Alexander under any circumstances. Maybe this was my opportunity to let them into his world.
Do you want me to tell them? I moved toward him and drew him in to me.
It will be the end of everythingof our relationship, of my living here.
What if it isnt? I asked excitedly. What if they embrace it? Then neither one of us would have to hide it anymore.
You think your father wants you dating a vampire? A guy who drinks blood to exist?
Theyre former hippies. They might think they were having a flashback.
Im serious. They arent hippies anymore. They are parents of a teenage girl.
Well
He sat down on the sofa. Its been great having Sebastian here.
And you. Its been a long time since Ive been able to be myself, apart from being with you.
It was quite the sightAlexander, my once gothic prince, transformed into a handsome quarterback from a boarding school, living in a palatial mansion, pained with loneliness even as I sat right next to him.
This is my life, Raven, whether I have to hide out in a Mansion, live among my kind, or hide out in the Dungeon at the Coffin Club. Its all about secrecy and survival.
Id never been about hiding or not getting in peoples faces. Maybe I couldnt be a vampire after all. Could I take the solitude? Or wandering around like Sebastian, trying to find those who were like me?
I felt Alexander was pushing me awaynot from him, but from the fantasy of being a vampire. So if I was to truly be with him, Id have to show him how much I cared for him and push back.
But wed live together, I said. Like your parents do. I just want to be with youand I just want everyone to love you for who you are, just like I do. But I understandAlexander, I know Im impulsive, but I want whats best for youno matter what that means.
He turned to me, his eyes soulful and his shiny hair glistening. A gorgeous smile emerged from his serious face.
I fixed his collar so it rested flatly. Besides, it is only temporary. But dont be mad at me if I slip and call you Trevor.
Alexander didnt find my joke amusing, and he rose.
I didnt mean to I started.
He didnt speak but shook his head.
Im sorry. I was just teasing.
Noyoure right. This isnt how I live. And most important, this isnt who I am. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it, exposing a white Cure T-shirt.
I was startled and elated by his bravado. I ran to him and gave him a squeeze so hard I thought Id pushed the air out of him.
Jameson, we have some moving to do, he called.
Sebastian and Jameson entered the room.
Were returning the Mansion and me to our original state, Alexander declared.
What happened? Sebastian asked.
Its just not me. I dont have to come out and say Im a vampire, but on the other hand, I also dont have to be ashamed of being myself.
So what do you want to do now? Jameson asked.
Reschedule the interview. Were going to return the furniture. Immediately.
All of it? Sebastian asked.
Alexander nodded.
Jameson shuffled over to Alexander. Can we at least keep this rug?
Alexander smiled. Of course.
And my desk? Sebastian pleaded.
Yes.
Can we keep that outfit? I whispered, coyly tugging at his brown leather belt. Just for fun?
Fine! he reconciled. But everything else goes back. I have an interview to do!
Chapter 12 A Return to Disorder
The next day after sunset, I bounded over to the Mansion with a renewed sense of delight. I was eager to see the Mansion return to normalor what Dullsvillians called a nightmare. I was proud that Alexander made the decision to be himselfor at least be as real as he could be without putting his true identity in danger. I knew it was an extremely hard choice for him to makebut either way he was going to be in the story. It was ultimately better that he shared the macabre artist that he was rather than an untrue, khaki-clad version of what he thought the town wanted him to be.