Cassie did know that, but she still resented Scarlett for the stress she was putting on her and Adam's relationship. And that resentment was transferring directly onto Adam.
"That's all I wanted to say." Adam leaned in and gave Cassie a stiff hug good-bye.
Cassie accepted his hug with limp arms. In her mind, she knew Adam hadn't done anything wrong, but her heart was proving to be more stubborn. Scarlett and the cord were all she could see when she looked at Adam now, all she could feel when he touched her. No matter how hard she tried to rationalize her jealousy away, it was there.
After Adam left, Cassie did the only thing she could think of to distract herself from her love life: She started cleaning the kitchen. Her mother would be home soon, and it would be nice for her to return to a spotless house.
As she was sweeping the kitchen floor, enjoying the trivial sense of control that came from defeating household dirt and grime, Nick climbed up from the basement.
Cassie gripped her broom handle tightly. "Going somewhere?" she asked.
Nick slipped the broom out of Cassie's hands. "Not unless you're volunteering yourself as an escort."
"I might be." Cassie laughed. "But not until this floor is clean."
"In that case, consider it done." Nick put his head down and began sweeping the floor with even strokes.
Cassie watched him, admiring the way he could lose himself so effortlessly in a physical task. Rebuilding engines, wrenching pipes, chopping wood - brute force was where Nick excelled. Fixing things that were broken, or muscling a floor clean if that was all he could get. There was a rugged simplicity to him that Cassie envied.
Nick stopped sweeping and rested both hands on the broom handle. "A penny for your thoughts," he said.
"I should be the one paying you if I start talking."
"Try me." Nick grinned. "First session is free."
Cassie leaned against the kitchen counter. "Well, for starters, I've been having terrible nightmares."
"From the book, do you think?" Nick asked.
"I guess. I've been having a lot of weird feelings since that book came into my life." Cassie paused. "And things with Adam have gotten pretty messy."
Nick usually flinched every time Cassie said Adam's name, but he didn't this time. His mahogany eyes were still and clear and his face was calm. Cassie suddenly felt like she could tell Nick anything and he wouldn't judge her. She took a step closer to him.
"You know the cord?" she asked. "The one between me and Adam?"
"The infamous silver cord. Do you even have to ask?"
"Well, there's another one just like it," Cassie said. "Between Adam and Scarlett."
"Hmm." Nick set the broom aside and crossed his thick arms over his chest.
"What do you think that means?" Cassie asked.
"The more important question is what do you think it means?" Nick's voice was caring and warm.
Cassie shook her head. "I'm not sure."
"Personally," Nick said. He looked pointedly at Cassie. "I think people pick who they love."
There was a beat of silence between them, a charged moment, and Cassie felt something tremble inside her. Something uncontrollable. A heat.
Without thinking, she took Nick's face into her hands and kissed him. It was urgent, and passionate, nothing like her soft kisses with Adam. She was hungry in a way she didn't know she was capable of. But at the same time she felt disconnected, the way she had felt in her bedroom that night with Adam, after touching the book. It was like her mind and her body had split. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't, so she kept kissing Nick until he pulled away.
He brought his fingers to his lips in shock. "What the heck was that?"
Cassie was just as stunned as he was. "I don't know," she said. "I'm sorry."
"Don't do that unless you mean it." Nick's eyes blazed at her, and the air between them still felt charged. Cassie knew if she didn't walk away now she was going to do something she might really regret. She turned and ran up the stairs to her bedroom, securing the door behind her.
Cassie wasn't sure what to make of what had just happened. She hadn't known she was going to kiss Nick until she was already kissing him. In the moment, the thrill of it had rushed through her whole body. The screaming black hunger from deep in her gut was satiated - it had gotten what it wanted - but now all Cassie felt was empty.
Chapter 15
The next morning, guilt and shame were consuming Cassie from the inside out. It was only a kiss, but it shouldn't have happened. How could she have let it happen? Before she even kicked off the covers and got out of bed she tried calling Adam. She had to set things right.
He answered right away but sounded distracted. Or was he annoyed?
"Is this a bad time?" Cassie asked.
"It's fine," Adam said abruptly. "What's up?"
"I was hoping we could talk," Cassie said. "Will you meet me out on the bluff?"
"I can't."
"It's kind of important."
Adam nervously cleared his throat. "I wish I could, but I have to study for a history test."
He was so obviously lying that it was almost insulting. "Since when are you so concerned about studying?" Cassie said.
"What are you talking about? Since always."
Cassie knew something was wrong. Adam's voice sounded agitated and higher-pitched than usual. He was hiding something.
"Can I talk to you now then, for a few minutes?" Cassie asked. "There's something I'd like to say and I don't want to put it off."
"You know, now really isn't such a good time. I'm kind of in the middle of something."
Cassie could hardly believe her ears. Adam must be angry with her or he would never behave this way. But it didn't make sense. Just last night he had told her he loved her.
"I really do want to talk," Adam said. "But it'll have to wait. I'm sorry, Cassie, but I've got to go. I'll call you later."
Cassie said good-bye and then listened to the silence on Adam's end of the line for a few seconds after he hung up. The rift between them must be bigger than she had thought. And Adam didn't even know the worst of it yet. If he was this upset with her now, what would his reaction be when he found out she had kissed Nick?
Hours passed, and Cassie still couldn't get the phone call with Adam out of her head. It wasn't only the fact that he had lied that was upsetting her. It was that she deserved it. He was right to not even want to hear her pathetic apology. If she were him, she wouldn't want to talk to her either.