As she straightened, she forgot about the pain.
Rehvenge had gone into another room and stopped in front of a table set for two. Candles glowed amidst a shimmer of crystal and silver, the long wall of glass showing her all the trouble he had gone to for her.
"Damn it..." she whispered.
Rehvenge sat down as slowly and deliberately as he walked, looking behind himself first, as if to make sure the chair was where it should be, then bracing both hands and lowering himself down. The Baggie of what she'd given him was placed on the table, and as he seemed to stroke it, his gentle fingers were at odds with those heavy shoulders and the dark power inherent in his hard face.
Staring at him, Ehlena no longer felt the cold or the wind or the pain in her shin. Bathed in the candlelight, with his head tilted down and his profile so strong and true, Rehvenge was incalculably beautiful.
Abruptly, his head snapped up and he looked right at her, even though she was in the darkness.
Ehlena stepped back and felt the terrace wall against her hip, but she did not dematerialize. Even as he plugged his cane into the floor and rose to his full height.
Even as the door before him parted at his will.
It would have taken a better liar than she was to pretend she just was looking off into the night. And she wasn't a coward, to bolt.
Ehlena walked up to him. "You didn't take a pill."
"Is that what you're waiting for?"
Ehlena crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes."
Rehvenge glanced back at the table and the pair of empty plates. "You said they had to be taken with food."
"Yes, I did."
"Well, it looks like you're going to watch me eat, then." The elegant sweep of his arm inviting her in was a prompt she didn't want to take. "Will you sit with me? Or do you want to stay out here in the cold? Oh, wait, maybe this will help." Leaning heavily on his cane, he went over and blew out the candles.
The curling weaves of smoke above the wicks seemed to her a lament for all the extinguished possibilities that had been: He'd prepared a nice dinner for them both. Made the effort. Dressed beautifully.
She stepped inside because she'd already ruined enough of his evening.
"Seat yourself," he said. "I'll be back with my plate. Unless...?"
"I've already eaten."
He bowed slightly as she pulled out a chair. "Of course you have."
Rehvenge left his cane against the table and walked out, steadying himself on the backs of chairs and the sideboard and the jamb of the butler's door into the kitchen. When he returned a few minutes later, he repeated the pattern with his free hand and then lowered himself down into the armed chair at the head of the table with careful concentration. Picking up a sleek sterling-silver fork, he didn't say a word as he carefully sliced his meat and ate with restraint and manners.
Christ, she felt like the bitch of the week, sitting in front of an empty plate while fully buttoned up in her coat.
The sounds of silver tines on porcelain made the silence between them scream.
Stroking the napkin in front of her, she felt god-awful about so much, and though she wasn't much of a talker she found herself speaking because she simply couldn't keep everything in anymore. "The night before last..."
"Mmm?" Rehvenge didn't look at her, just stayed focused on his plate.
"I wasn't stood up. You know, on that date."
"Well, good for you."
"He was killed."
Rehvenge's head shot up. "What."
"Stephan, the guy I was supposed to meet...he was killed by lessers. The king brought his body in, but I didn't know it was him until his cousin showed up looking for him. I...ah, I spent my shift last evening wrapping his body and returning him to his family." She shook her head. "They'd beaten him... You couldn't tell who he had been."
Her voice fractured and refused to go on, so she just sat there stroking the napkin, in hopes of soothing herself.
Two subtle clinks marked Rehv's fork and knife coming to rest on his plate, and then he reached out to her, putting his solid hand on her forearm.
"I'm so goddamned sorry," he said. "No wonder you're not into all this. If I had known-"
"No, it's okay. Really. I should have handled it better when I arrived. I'm just off tonight. Not myself at all."
He gave her a squeeze and settled back into his chair as if he didn't want to crowd her. Which was normally what she liked, but tonight she found it a pity-to use a word he enjoyed. The weight of his touch through her coat had been very nice.
Speaking of which, she was getting really warm.
Ehlena unbuttoned herself and took the wool from her shoulders. "Hot in here."
"Like I said before, I can cool things down for you."
"No." She frowned, glancing over at him. "Why are you always cold? Side effects from the dopamine?"
He nodded. "It's really more why I need the cane. I can't feel my arms, legs."
She hadn't heard of many vampires reacting in that way to the drug, but then, individual reactions were legion. And also the vampire equivalent of Parkinson's was a nasty disease.
Rehvenge pushed his plate away and the two of them sat in silence for a long while. In the candlelight, he seemed dimmed somehow, his usual energy dialed down, his mood very somber.
"You're not yourself, either," she said. "Not that I know you very well, but you seem..."
"How."
"Like I feel. In a walking coma."
He chuckled in a short burst. "That is so apt."
"You want to talk about it-"
"You want something to eat-"
They both laughed and stopped.
Rehvenge shook his head. "Look, let me get you some dessert. It's the least I can do. And it's not date food. The candles are out."
"Actually, you know what?"
"You lied about having eaten before coming and now you're starving?"
She laughed again. "You got it."
As his amethyst eyes stared into hers, the air between them changed and she had the sense that he saw so much, too much. Especially as he said in a dark voice, "Will you let me feed you?"
Hypnotized, captivated, she whispered, "Yes. Please."
His smile revealed long, white fangs. "That is so the answer I was going for."
What would his blood be like in her mouth, she wondered in a rush.
Rehvenge growled deep in his throat, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. But he took it no further, rising to his great height and going into the kitchen.
By the time he returned with her plate, she'd managed to pull herself together a little bit better, although as he put the food down in front of her, the whiff of spices that drifted around her was too delicious-and had nothing to do with what he'd cooked.
Determined to keep it together, Ehlena put the napkin in her lap and tried the roast beef.
"My God, this is fabulous."
"Thanks," Rehv said as he sat down. "It's the way the doggen in our household have always done it. You get the oven up to four seventy-five and you put the roast in, blast it for a half hour, then turn everything off and let it sit in there. You're not allowed to open the door to check it. That's the rule, and you have to trust the process. Two hours later?"
"Heaven."
"Heaven."
Ehlena laughed as the same word came out of both of their mouths. "Well, it's really good. Melts in the mouth."
"In the interest of full disclosure, lest you think I'm a chef, it's the only thing I know how to cook."
"Well, you do one thing perfectly, and that's more than some people can say."
He smiled and looked down at the pills. "If I take one of these now, are you going to leave right after dinner?"
"If I say no, will you tell me why you're so quiet?"
"Tough negotiator."
"Just making it a two-way street. I told you what's weighing on me."
Darkness shadowed his face, tightening his mouth and drawing his brows together. "I can't talk about it."
"Sure you can."
His eyes, now hard, flashed up to her. "Just like you can talk about your father?"
Ehlena dropped her stare to her plate and took special care cutting a piece of meat.
"I'm sorry," Rehv said. "I...Shit."
"No, it's okay." Even though it wasn't. "I push too hard sometimes. Great for being in health care. Not so hot when it comes to the personal stuff."