“Rebekah?”
She needed a minute to collect herself. Putting her head between her knees would probably be her best bet. She flipped forward and banged her head on the keyboard with a discordant blam!
She was going to get married! A dream she had all but given up on. She hadn’t thought any man in the world would want to marry a woman who could never give him a family, and here she was engaged not to any man, but the most wonderful man she’d ever known. The man she loved so much she couldn’t imagine a single day without him. The man who probably thought she’d lost her mind.
“Reb?” he whispered as he tried to pry her forehead from the keyboard.
She gulped air.
“Look, if you changed your mind about getting married—”
No! She sat up abruptly and lifted her hand to cover his mouth, but managed to accidentally hit him in the nose. Her hand was shaking so hard, she was surprised it found his face at all.
She shook her head vigorously. “Of course I d-didn’t change m-my mind. I’m j-just so… so… h-happy.”
Eric hesitated and wrapped a comforting arm around her lower back. “You don’t look happy.”
She turned to face him on the bench, wrapped both arms around his neck, and sought his mouth. Good thing he had better aim than she did. He kissed her deeply, passionately, lips tugging hers with a gentle suction, tongue brushing her upper lip.
“I love you,” she whispered, trailing kisses along his stubble-rough jaw.
“Forever?”
“For the rest of my life,” she said breathlessly. And her mortality reared its ugly head again. What if she had to leave him alone before she was ready to go?
He kissed the tears off her cheeks. “Forever,” he said, holding her hair in tight fists so he could tilt her head back and kiss her lips. His kiss was hard and deep, almost punishing. “It has to be forever, Rebekah.”
“But if the cancer comes back, if I die…” She took a deep, ragged breath. She didn’t want to talk about these things, but they couldn’t hide from these real possibilities. That’s why she wanted to wait to marry him until after her MRI. “I don’t want you to be alone, Eric.”
“Forever, Rebekah.” His resolute stare told her he wasn’t backing down on this.
“Forever,” she agreed breathlessly.
He cradled her against his chest and held her for all he was worth. “Forever.”
She clung to him, sobbing. Tears drenched his shirt, but he didn’t let her go. She knew with certainty he never would. Not even if it was best for him. She let the fear find her. She’d been pretending it didn’t exist for so long that it felt good to recognize it. Confront it. And even share it with Eric. “I’m scared. So scared that I’ll get sick again.”
“It’s okay. I’m scared too. But no matter how scared I am, I won’t run.”
Isaac had given her the strength to fight when she’d been sick. To face death with her head high. Eric gave her the strength to be alive. Fully alive. And now that she had so much to live for, she wasn’t sure she could face death again.
She leaned away and wiped her tears on the hem of her T-shirt. “I’m sorry I fell apart. I really am happy you want to marry me. Even if it is selfish of me to accept.”
“I thought you’d be mad that I went out and bought your ring on my own. I woke up beside you this morning, watched you sleep for a while, and decided I couldn’t wait. Do you really like it?”
“I love it. You. I love you.”
“You’d better. I had to take out a second mortgage to afford that sucker.”
She smiled, knowing that he needed a reprieve from the emotional barrage she’d just subjected him to. “Suck?” She licked her lips and reached for his fly. “Well, if you insist.”
Chapter 32
Rebekah kissed Eric’s cheek and opened the car door. She honestly wasn’t looking forward to spending the evening pretending to be Isaac’s doting girlfriend. Especially at a party guaranteed to be boring.
Eric caught her hand before she could get out. “I’m considering becoming a jealous prick and making a scene, just so you know.”
“I might buy that if you had anything to be jealous about.”
“What time will you be home?”
“Early,” she promised.
He kissed her knuckles and released her hand. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I’ll be fine. Isaac promised he would bring me home as soon as we can get away. You and I will have plenty of fun tomorrow.” On Eric’s birthday.
“Why tomorrow?”
“No reason.” She grinned. He’d been trying to get her to reveal something for days. She’d put together over two dozen surprises for Eric’s birthday to celebrate his life and hers. Well, mostly she’d be celebrating his cock, but she didn’t think he’d mind.
She kissed him good-bye and stepped from the car, smoothing her hands over her black cocktail dress to make sure everything was in place. She closed the car door and offered Eric a wave as he drove off. When Isaac opened his apartment door to answer her knock, he didn’t look any too pleased to see her.
“Let’s get this over with,” he said.
“I’m fine, thanks, how are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
He locked the apartment door behind him and headed for the stairwell. She followed him, seconds from telling him to forget this favor if he was going to act like an ass all night.
“What’s wrong?” Rebekah asked him.
“Trey left me.” He stopped dead in his tracks and Rebekah bumped into his back.
She took his arm and turned him to face her. His brow crumpled, and he took a deep shaky breath. If he starting crying, she was totally going to join him. “What? Like permanently?”
He raked a hand through his perfectly arranged loose curls, mussing them in a most charming way. “I don’t know. He said until I get my head on straight. Whatever that means.”
“I’m sorry. I hope you can work things out.”
“It’s just an excuse. I know he sees other people. When I hinted that I wanted things to be serious between us, he… lost interest.”
Rebekah sighed. “Isaac, I probably should have warned you. Trey is wonderful, but he’s kind of hung up on someone else.”
“Brian?”
Stunned, Rebekah stared at him with her mouth hanging open. “How did you know?”