“Do you think my future’s a joke? Is all of this a joke to you?”
I met his gaze, looking unblinkingly into those gray-blue eyes. “Actually, this is anything but a joke. This is my future too. My chance to be free and make my own choices.”
He shook his head. “You don’t realize what you’ve done—what you may have cost me. I have so much depending on this, more than you can know.”
“I haven’t cost you anything. Help me with this—don’t betray me, and I’ll owe you a favor.” I caught hold of his sleeve. “Haven’t you ever known something in your heart, known you needed to do something or be somewhere? That’s how this is for me. I need to do this. Help me, and I swear, I’ll make it up to you some day.”
A fleeting smile played over his lips. “The Countess of Rothford could have done a lot more for me than a simple girl bound for Adoria.”
“You’d be surprised. The Countess of Rothford couldn’t do much for herself, let alone anyone else.” I looked up at him through my lashes. “And don’t assume I’m simple.”
He made no response and instead studied me for a long time. We were in very close quarters, which gave that scrutiny a disconcertingly intimate feel. “This will be harder than you think,” he said at last.
“I doubt it,” I said, putting my hands on my hips. “All those things you’re teaching the other girls? I already know them. I could teach classes in this place.”
“Yes. That’s exactly the problem. You know too much. Your manners, your diction—even your hair.”
“I wish everyone would stop talking about my hair,” I muttered.
“You stand out, my lady. This is a world you don’t understand—where you can’t wield the privilege you’ve known. Where your title won’t get you access or even let you be taken seriously in some places. And there are plenty of things the other girls know that you don’t. Can you start a fire in the hearth? Can you even dress yourself?”
“I put this on myself,” I told him. “I mean, the buttons took a little figuring out, but I eventually did it.”
He looked like he was on the verge of rolling his eyes. “My lady, you have no idea what—”
“Adelaide,” I corrected. “If we’re going to pull this off, you must call me that. No more titles.”
“Well, then, Adelaide, let me give you some advice. Don’t be too good at anything—you don’t want to attract extra attention. Think twice before you correct someone, even if it’s Clara.” His tone as he said her name made me think he hadn’t actually minded my putting her in her place. “And above all, watch the other girls. Watch their mannerisms. Listen to the way they talk. Every little detail. One slip, and both our lives will be ruined. You’ll give yourself away in ways you don’t even realize.”
At those words, I had a sudden flash of how I’d already messed up in the last twenty-four hours. The carriage door. The tart. The cosmetics lecture. And yes, the hair.
You’ll give yourself away in ways you don’t even realize.
“I won’t,” I said fiercely. “I’ll do this—you’ll see. I’ll do all the right things. I’ll get a dozen Adorian offers and land you the biggest commission of them all.”
“No—don’t stand out.” He paused, and a hint of that earlier flirty smile resurfaced. “Well, as much as you can help it.”
“You said you’ve got a lot depending on this. What is there? More than the commission?”
He grew sober again. “Nothing for you to worry about. Just get to Adoria without being discovered, and we both might survive this.” He glanced around. “We need to go. We’re going to be missed.”
I thought about the harsh way Jasper had spoken to him, the way he’d dismissed Cedric’s efforts. A wise part of me knew better than to comment on that. Instead I asked, “Any other words of wisdom before you leave?”
He turned back, looking me over in that way that felt oddly personal. But it didn’t unsettle me as much this time. Neither did our proximity. “Yes,” he said. He reached forward and wound one of my curls around his fingers, inadvertently brushing my cheek in the process. “Do something about this hair. Mess it up. Tie it back. Anything to make you a little more disheveled and less like you’re being presented at court.”
I lifted my chin. “First, this isn’t a court style—which you’d know, if you’d spent any time with the old nobility. And second, I can mess up as many etiquette lessons as you like . . . but disheveled? I don’t know if I can do that.”
The smile returned, warmer and wider than before. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.” He sketched me a bow, almost a caricature of the one he’d given at our first meeting. “Until next time, my—Adelaide.”
He turned and, after a quick check around the corner, walked back down the great hall. I waited an appropriate amount of time and did the same. I’d hoped to catch a glimpse of him, but he was already out of sight. It was just as well. Putting him from my mind, I climbed the staircase up to my new life in the Glittering Court.
Chapter 5
I returned to my room, not entirely sure what to expect. I was still shaking from the encounter with Cedric, how close I’d been to everything falling apart around me. Taking a deep breath, I threw my shoulders back and pushed the door open.
Calm and silence met me. My two roommates were each sitting on their respective beds. Mira’s knees were drawn up to her, creating a makeshift desk as she read a battered book. Tamsin sat cross-legged, furiously writing what looked like a letter. Seeing me, she quickly folded the paper up. I didn’t know if it was coincidence or not, but the beds they’d chosen were opposite each other in the room.