“It’s not you. It’s me,” she finally whispered huskily. “I became so dependent on Rick when we were together that I’m afraid to ever let myself have any kind of intimate relationship again. It hasn’t really been an issue until now because I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you, Micah. Not to mention you’re the first guy who has actually wanted me, even for a casual screw, since I lost my hearing. And I know myself. I can’t have uncomplicated sex.”
He cupped her face in his hands, his gaze glued to the vulnerable expression on her face as he growled, “Sex with you would always be complicated.”
He wanted to protect Tessa, shield her from any more disappointments in her life. Yet, he wanted to do so damn much more. If there was one thing he now knew for sure, it was that this woman was his, that he needed her to belong to him. Maybe subconsciously, he’d always known. But he wasn’t fighting it anymore.
His hard-on was pressing against the denim of his jeans, insisting on release, demanding that he claim what belonged to him.
Tessa’s fingers trembled as she reached up and put her hands over his that were still framing her face. “It would be terribly complicated. And risky, too.”
Micah grinned at her. “I happen to like a certain amount of risk in my life.” Maybe that’s why Tessa could cause more adrenaline to flow through his body than any sport he’d ever experienced.
“I don’t usually take risks,” she admitted. “But right now I think maybe I should. I want to fly, but I’m afraid of crash-landing.”
“Don’t be afraid of the fall. I’ll be there to catch you this time,” he told her in a hoarse voice that he barely recognized as his own. Micah desperately needed her to understand he wasn’t going anywhere. She said she’d never felt this way before, but then, neither had he. The only thing he knew for sure was that he’d never leave her alone again.
He didn’t just want her, he needed her. And he had never needed anybody.
She stood up so fast that her body was a blur as his hands fell to the couch, suddenly empty. She strode over to the breakfast bar that separated the small kitchen from the living room, clenching the counter tightly as she said, “I know the deal. Sex only, no strings attached. That’s the way you roll, right? But we’ll always be friends, and I think I might be able to handle that.”
Micah frowned. For him, all deals were negotiable with Tessa, and it wasn’t just about sex anymore. Hell yeah, he wanted to rip off her clothes and nail her hard and fast, but he wanted her all in. Strange . . . since he’d never been willing to do that himself.
He stood and walked over to her, pulling her petite body back against him. He wanted to groan as their bodies collided, the upper curve of her ass rubbing against his painfully erect cock. He turned her around slowly, savoring the feel of her body as she rubbed against him.
Jesus!
“I don’t know the rules anymore,” he admitted as she looked up at him. “I just know that I need to bury myself inside of you until neither one of us can think. All of this is new, different. We’d have to make up the rules as we go along.”
He pinned her against the counter as he placed his hands on the surface, pissed off at himself that he couldn’t just walk out the door until he got himself together. That option was completely off the table for him, even though he knew she’d probably be better off if he did.
Tessa didn’t need this.
Tessa deserved better.
Tessa needed a guy who didn’t live for an adrenaline rush.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Then I guess we make our own rules, because I need you right now, Micah. I can’t walk away and not experience this, experience you. It would be safer if I did, but I don’t think I can. I’d always wonder how it would have been. And I don’t want to live with regrets because I was too afraid to find out.”
He lost complete control in that moment, her own words sealing her fate. He’d make sure she never wanted to run and never regretted being with him, if it was the last thing on Earth he did.
Maybe he didn’t deserve her.
Maybe he was all wrong for her.
Maybe she did deserve someone better.
But the fact was, he couldn’t stomach thinking about another man ever touching her again.
For now, she was his, and he intended on claiming her.
The future could fucking take care of itself.
CHAPTER 9
Tessa knew she wasn’t thinking with a rational brain at the moment, but she didn’t care. As Micah swooped down to capture her mouth, she yielded completely, determined not to think about what would happen later.
She wanted this; she wanted Micah. Every cell in her body was clamoring for him to take her, and she couldn’t fight that physical and mental battle anymore. Fear of rejection had been a part of her life for so long that it was hard to let go of it, but what she’d said to him was true. If she didn’t reach out and take what she wanted, experience the things she craved, she’d be forever stuck within very limited boundaries.
I don’t always need to know what’s going to happen. I can live in the moment for once in my life without waiting for something bad to happen.
Screw contentment and safety; she wanted to live.
Her hands found their way to Micah’s hair, her breath sighing into his mouth as she raked her short nails over his scalp. When his arms snaked possessively around her body, one big hand landing possessively on her ass and the other around her back, she shivered as their bodies connected. His skin was white-hot, and all she wanted to do was let him scorch her with his fire.