Some of them I already knew from the band, but there were a few new faces. After a few minutes, I excused myself and went back to rejoin the band. The night went by quickly and I loved watching my friends dance and enjoy my music.
I tried not to focus on Jack, but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t be in a room with him and not watch him.
And I caught him watching me on more than just a few occasions too.
***
The next afternoon, I laid in bed with a bit of a hangover from the tequila shots I had with Sienna after I finished working. My head dangled sideways at the foot of the bed, the covers pulled up to my neck. An hour earlier, Jack moved from his office and sat with his back against the headboard, typ-ing on the keyboard of the laptop on his lap.
“Do you really like this movie?” I turned to look at him, I loved to see him that way, wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans and his feet crossed at the ankles, his long legs splayed down the length of the bed. He looked so young and relaxed, I knew that it wasn’t a side of him that many people knew. “It’s a classic, who doesn’t love Ghost?”
“Babe, men don’t like Ghost.”
“They don’t?”
“No, they don’t.”
“And you speak for all men?” I rose an eyebrow inquisitively.
“I do.”
I crawled up the bed, straddling his legs. “What do men like then?” Jack grinned and folded down his laptop.
“You, naked and the tv off.” I pressed my pelvis down and felt his erection stabbing into my cleft. “Is that all men, or just you?” I teased as I rolled my hips.
Jack leaned up and firmly gripped my ribcage. “There will be no other men seeing you naked.”
I leaned in and bit his ear gently before I whispered, “Because I belong to you.”
***
The following Monday was Jack’s birthday and I wanted to surprise him, but what do you get a man with unlimited re-sources and a personal shopper with exquis-ite taste? I struggled for almost a week and decided on a gift with meaning instead of something from a store that I couldn’t really afford and he didn’t really want. I was sure it was a great idea, until I was on my way to his office to surprise him with it, then I thought it was a stupid gift and I would embarrass myself.
The guard greeted me at the door and recognized me from my earlier visit with Jack. I told him I wanted to surprise Jack for his birthday. He was hesitant to let me in, but did it anyway when I reassured him that it was okay. I passed a few people on the way to Jack’s office door, all of them said hello and seemed to remember me.
I was feeling confident until I stood in front his closed office door. I suddenly felt like an in-truder and wasn’t sure if I should knock or walk in. I decided to knock.
Jack yelled to come in and I opened the door. He was leaning against the front of his desk with his arms folded and Jenna sat in front of him, too close for my liking. His face showed surprise at my visit, but he made no attempt to hide anything he was doing. Jenna turned and saw me, giving me a cunning smile. “Syd, is everything okay?”
I took a few steps inside, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. “I….I….I just wanted to surprise you with a birthday present. But I see that you’re busy, I’m sorry I interrupted.” I put the wrapped package down on the couch in his office and turned for the door, desperately needing to get out of there. It was suddenly as if all the air in the building had been sucked out and I needed to make it outside for my next breath.
Jack caught me at the end of the hall, grabbing onto my arm. “Syd, what’s going on? Where are you going?” I couldn’t turn to look at him for fear I would lose it. All of the memories came flashing back from the day that I walked into Michael’s office and found him leaning against his desk, his secretary on her knees, her head bobbing as she took him in.
I struggled to free myself from Jack’s grip and ran as fast as I could to my car.
***
Jack stopped calling after the first day. I don’t know why I wouldn’t return his calls. I knew I was acting childish, but I wasn’t ready to speak to him. I couldn’t even bring myself to listen to his voicemails.
Three days later, I was still dragging myself around feeling sick and sorry for myself. I had dark circles under my eyes and my face was swollen from crying. My hair was matted from the tossing and turning the night before and I didn’t have the desire to brush it. I forced myself to undress and turned on the hot water to steam up my tiny bathroom.
The knock at the front door startled me, as I was about to step into the shower.
I threw on my robe and went to the door to find Jack on the other side.
“What do you want?” My voice was low and lackluster.
Jack stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “I don’t know what the f**k I did, but I’m going crazy Syd.” I looked up at him, seeing him for the first time in three days. He looked like I felt. The impeccably groomed man with the pale sparkling eyes was a disheveled mess. He had three days of scrub and his skin was sallow and eyes dim.
“I can’t do this Jack.” My voice was a whisper and the words began to break as I spoke. Jack took a step toward me and I put my hand up, keeping him at distance.
“What can’t you do Syd?” His tone was angry and he took another step closer.
I took another step back and spoke to his chest. “I can’t close my eyes and not see what is going on around me just because it makes life easier for me.” Jack took another step closer and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him.
“Look at me. What do you think is going on?”
I looked away and didn’t respond.
I was fighting the tears back with all my might and I couldn’t look into his eyes.
He let go of my face and raked both his hands through his hair in frustration.
Then he took a deep breath and grabbed my face with both hands, bringing himself down to my eye level. I had nowhere to look but into his eyes. “Nothing is going on and you know it. You’re scared. And so the f**k am I.” He paused and searched my eyes. “Baby, I’m not him. I’m not the ass**le that made you afraid of giving yourself to me, but I wish like hell I could take away what he did to you. Because I’m in. I’m all in baby. I’m not perfect and I don’t know what the f**k I did to deserve someone as good as you, but you have me and I’m not settling for just a part of you. I want you. I want all of you baby.” The tears flooded my eyes and poured down my face. Jack pulled me close to him and held me until there were no more tears left.