He didn’t think. He just started hitting.
He didn’t f**king care if Dalton was Casper’s kid. Dalton was his f**king brother. And the fact Dalton had been hurting for three long goddamn years, with no support from either of his brothers, with him believing they thought the worst of him, that they were no different in their opinions than their dad, just kicked his rage, sorrow and sadness to another level.
And he kept hitting the bag harder.
No wonder Dalton had left. It was a wonder he’d opted to return.
Fuck, f**k, f**k.
He punched until he couldn’t punch any more.
Once Brandt had stopped moving he felt the chill in the air. His lungs burned. His face was wet. Sweat for sure. Maybe some tears. His arms ached. As did his shoulders and his jaw. But not as much as his heart ached. The weight of it had him clinging to the heavy bag.
“Brandt?”
Her sweet voice roused him from the darkness as it always did.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely.
“Come inside and let me patch you up.”
“How long you been standing there?”
“Long enough.”
“Go back inside, Jess. I’ll be there in a sec.”
“I’ll wait.”
“The boys—”
“Are sound asleep.” He heard her footsteps on the gravel getting closer. “You gonna tell me what happened tonight?”
I don’t know if I can.
Jessie approached him slowly. The beat-the-fuck-out-of-the-heavy-bag sessions were rare these days, but he didn’t try and hide the fact he needed them. Jessie accepted everything about him. Even this.
“Brandt?”
“I didn’t know. I didn’t f**king know.”
Her arms came around him. “Come on. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
She led him into the house. In the bathroom she cleaned his hands, spreading antibiotic ointment on his bleeding and bruised knuckles. As she fixed him up, Brandt started to talk.
When he finished speaking and looked at his wife’s tear-stained face, he realized something was missing. Somehow she’d known at least part of the story.
“Jess. This doesn’t come as a shock to you?”
“The part where Casper convinces Dalton he’s not his kid? Yes. Then again, I shouldn’t be shocked by anything that twisted f**ker says or does.” Jessie met his gaze. “But yes, I knew that Casper had physically abused Dalton.”
Brandt fought a surge of anger. “How?”
“From Luke.”
“Why the f**k didn’t you tell me you knew?”
“Because I wasn’t sure if you knew about it.”
“Not until after Dalton left. Tell finally told me. Just how long have you known?” Brandt saw the guilt in her eyes. She’d known longer than he had. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“For the same reason you kept it to yourself after you learned the truth from Tell.” Jessie placed her hands on his cheeks. “Brandt. I love you. You know that. I was married to Luke and although we had issues, one thing I’d never do is break a confidence.”
“Even after he’s dead?”
“Even then.” Her eyes searched his and Brandt felt his guts twist up all over again. “Up until now. I didn’t tell you because I saw what it did to Luke; it ate at him like a damn cancer. He didn’t know about the abuse until the day Dalton finally stood up to Casper when Dalton was fourteen years old. Luke was in the machine shed that day, sleeping off a hangover, so neither Casper nor Dalton knew he was there. When he heard the voices and Casper demanded that Dalton drop his pants…” Jessie looked away.
Brandt had to clench his jaw to keep the bile from spilling out.
“Luke thought Casper might’ve been…sexually abusing Dalton. Evidently Luke grabbed a shovel and was ready to beat Casper to death. Then he heard Dalton go ballistic and tell Casper he wasn’t taking any more beatings—seven years was enough. Then Dalton punched him or something, I really don’t know the specifics. I just know that after Dalton took off, Casper was shocked to see Luke. And really shocked when Luke told him if he ever laid a hand on Dalton again, he’d kill him.
“Their relationship wasn’t great before that, but it got worse afterward. Luke had so much self-loathing for not protecting Dalton. He knew it’d further crush Dalton if he realized his older brother knew about the abuse. And since Dalton had stood up to Casper that day, in Dalton’s mind, he’d finally put a stop to it himself. Luke figured Dalton deserved to think he was strong enough to fight back, so he couldn’t ever bring it up with him or anyone else.”
“But Luke told you?”
“Yes. And he made me promise that it stayed just between us. Luke always felt it was his job to look out for you guys. To make sure Casper couldn’t destroy the love you had for each other and the solidarity Luke had tried so hard to build between the four of you.”
Brandt rested his forehead on Jessie’s shoulder and fell apart.
When he could breathe without it hurting, when he didn’t have any tears left, she kissed him, touched him and stayed strong enough for both of them.
“I’m so f**king tired of all this, Jess.”
“I know, baby. Come on. Let’s get you in bed.”
Once they were in their bedroom, Brandt pulled her into his arms and her body fit against his like it was meant to. “I love you. You’re the best thing in my world. And I’m glad that Luke didn’t have to shoulder that burden alone. I’m grateful he had you to talk to about it. Thank you.”
After a few moments, she said, “You don’t talk about Luke with me and that’s fine. I just hope you are talking about him with your brothers. He deserves to be remembered and missed.”
“Yes, he does.”
“You and Tell and Dalton…you will get through this.”
Meanwhile, just up the road, Tell sat in the driveway in front of his house for a long time before he climbed out of his truck.
Although Georgia had left the light on in the living room, he expected she’d gone to bed. Which was probably good because he planned to drink a helluva lot of whiskey. Then he could blame the sick feeling on booze.
He shucked his coat and kicked off his boots. He headed directly to the liquor cabinet, pulling out the bottle of Koltiska that Brandt had given him to celebrate Jackson’s birth. He remembered missing his baby brother that day. Dalton had been a part of damn near every milestone in Tell’s life so it’d seemed…wrong somehow for him to miss that one.