“Might’ve been better if he had because then maybe your mom or brothers or someone at school would’ve seen ’em. Maybe one of us would’ve seen them.” Charlie fiddled with his hat, a sure sign of nerves. “We shouldn’t have let you be. None of you boys. No excuses. No matter if we couldn’t stand Casper, we should’ve done more to protect you from him.”
“My brothers didn’t need protection. And there’s no way you could’ve known. My own mother lived in the house with me for years while it was goin’ on and she didn’t know. If someone had seen the strap marks, we both know Casper would’ve said it wasn’t your business on how he disciplined his sons and that would’ve been the end of it.”
The silence that followed probably meant Charlie understood but was frustrated by the truth of the long ago situation. Dalton hadn’t told him that to alleviate Charlie’s guilt—his uncle’s guilt wasn’t his problem.
“So you’ve just accepted that your dad beat the shit outta you on a regular basis?” Charlie demanded. “Christ, Dalton, you don’t think you somehow deserved it, do you?”
“Back then? He had me convinced I did. Now? I know he was an abusive ass**le who got off on a mindfuck. One thing I’ll never do is make excuses for him for what he did to me. The past is the past. But I’ll be damned if I’ll let the memory of that consume me. Ruin me. Ruin my future. Make me into a bitter motherfucker who uses verbal and physical abuse on the people in my life. That means letting this go. I’ll never be like him. Never,” he repeated hotly. “I’ve had a lot of years to come to terms with this, Charlie. While I appreciate your concern, I’m dealing with enough shit right now without havin’ to revisit this.”
“Sorry. It might be old news to you, but it ain’t to me.”
“Did you tell Uncle Carson and Uncle Cal?”
Charlie shook his head. “Not Vi either. Ben told me in confidence. But I refused to promise him that I wouldn’t bring it up with you.” He paused. “Or with Casper. And I did talk to Casper about it.”
Not what Dalton had expected. “When?”
“Last week. I needed time to cool off too. Even now that he’s dead I don’t regret what I said to him.”
“Can I ask what you said to him?”
“Just that there’d been lots of times over the years he’d pissed me off. That he’d done shitty things, and selfish things, and stupid things. But all them paled in comparison to him abusing his son. I told him he was the worst kind of coward and I was ashamed of him, more so than I’d ever been in my life. That if I’d known what he’d done to you, I’da taken a strap to him myself. Then I’da turned him over to Carson and Cal who’d take their pound of his damn hide too. Our dad, for all his faults, never whipped us. He might’ve been a gruff man with a short fuse and had no time to bear fools, but he’d never done nothin’ like that to any of us. So what the f**k? Where had Casper picked up that abusive behavior?
“Then I warned him he couldn’t blame his actions on booze, because it wasn’t the goddamned bottle that’d been hittin’ you. I said if he thought what he was doin’ to you wasn’t wrong, then he wouldn’t have hidden it from his wife and his sons and everyone else. I asked him how he intended to explain his actions toward a child—his child—when he stood in judgment before God. That he oughta hope God had a more forgiving heart than me because I’d never forgive him.”
Charlie looked at him. “I also said he should’ve spent more time begging for forgiveness from you than sitting in church pretending to be the good Christian man decent folks would shun if they knew what he’d done. If they knew how black and cold his heart and soul really were they wouldn’t welcome him with open arms.”
Holy. Shit.
“I know there are some people who’d rip me to pieces for acting that way toward a man who couldn’t speak to defend himself, but I stand by my actions. I did it because it was time someone took him to task. So I’m hoping you ain’t upset that I was the one who done it.”
“I’m…shocked. But I’d never judge you on doin’ what you felt you needed to, Uncle Charlie.”
“Good. I understand you’d moved on from all that childhood bullshit, Dalton. I knew you’d avoided goin’ to the hospital to see him and maybe I’d chalked it up to you bein’ a selfish kid who needed to grow up. But I finally saw your avoidance for what it really is. Self-preservation. I admire the hell out of you for bein’ the bigger man. For walking away. For not letting him define you.”
Good thing Dalton was holding onto the fence or he might’ve fallen down. “Thank you.”
“I don’t deserve your thanks for doin’ what was right for a change. And even when it was the last time I spoke to my brother, I don’t have any regrets about what I said. I just thought you oughta know.”
“Thanks.”
Charlie clapped him on the back and walked away.
The chill was getting to him. He’d almost reached the house when he saw his brothers, sisters in law and their boys walking down the steps. Carson stood on the porch steps, watching them go.
When he saw Dalton, he motioned him over. “You okay? You’ve been out here a while.”
“Yeah, well wasn’t like I was hiding out here so no one would see me cry.”
“Don’t think anyone’s shedding a tear that he’s gone.” Carson scrubbed his hand over his jaw. “Sweet Jesus. And ain’t that a fine thing for me to say about my brother on the day we planted him in the ground.”
Dalton kept his eyes on his uncle. “Him bein’ dead don’t change who he was when he was alive. And I’m more than ready to put this day behind me.” I’m more than ready to put him behind me.
“Me too. Anything you need?”
His gaze moved to the front door. “Is Rory still inside?”
“I believe so. Want me to get her for you?”
“Nah. But would you tell her I went home and I’ll see her tomorrow?”
Carson frowned. “Son, you sure you don’t wanna come in and tell her yourself?”
“I’m sure. Tell Aunt Caro, Aunt Kimi and Aunt Vi I said thanks for everything.”
“You got it. Night, Dalton. Take care.”
“See ya.”