For the first time in two days, Ainsley felt like the world wasn’t crumbling beneath her feet. On a professional level anyway.
Leslie looked at them each in turn. “So. What’s it going to be?”
Turton wouldn’t meet Ainsley’s gaze. “Make the call.”
The district manager was notoriously cranky. After listening to Leslie’s question, he let fly. Chewing out both Ainsley and Turton for overstepping their bounds and reminding them National West assigned a loan officer at that location for a reason. Then he reminded them of their responsibilities and if they were too busy doing someone else’s job, they were neglecting their own. In a totally surprising move, he insisted Ainsley and Turton attend an interpersonal management skills workshop in Denver. Over the weekend. He commended Leslie for her attention to detail. All in all, the phone call was short and to the point.
Ainsley sat in stunned silence when the dial tone echoed in the conference room. Turton didn’t say a word. He just left but he’d seemed to have lost some of the cock-of-the-walk attitude.
Leslie gathered up her papers.
“Thank you,” Ainsley said. “I expected I’d be packing up my office and turning in my pass key today.”
“You’re welcome. I didn’t do this for you, Ainsley. You and Turton were both in the wrong, professionally, and I didn’t want to get caught in the middle. I need this job and I’ve seen it happen before, where the lower level employee gets fired for a mistake the boss made.”
She knew Leslie had worked for Steve Talbot at Settler’s First for a few years before getting laid off.
“On a personal level, I hated Turton’s double standard. He expected you to get fired for a personal relationship crossing the line, when he was doing the same thing.” She shook her head. “The bizarre part of it was Turton wasn’t drawing those parallels.”
Ainsley knew trying to find common ground with Turton would be nearly impossible now.
Leslie paused at the door and looked over her shoulder. “Just so you know. Ben McKay came by yesterday to see me and formally dropped his loan request.”
Her heart jumped into her throat. “He did?”
“Yes.”
The door shut behind her.
She didn’t move for the longest time. Mostly because she wasn’t sure what her next move should be.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
As soon as Ben finished chores on Friday he drove to the Rawhide Club. After Ainsley’s stinging dismissal, he’d needed to be in a place where people looked at him with respect. Where he was liked for being exactly who he was.
But his haven didn’t offer him the usual validation. And that confused the hell out of him. So he’d found a spot in the back corner and brooded. About Ainsley. About her refusal to listen to reason and his attempt to fix his mistake. For the first time since they’d started a relationship, she’d looked at him with pity. Like he was a freak.
When Cody straddled the chair around across from him, Ben bit back a leave-me-the-fuck alone snarl. Cody would snap right back, demanding to know why Ben came to the club if he’d wanted solitude.
“Looks like you’re doing some deep thinking.”
“I am. It’s very taxing on my pea-sized brain.”
He laughed. “Bullshit. Spill the details, man. Especially since you ain’t been here in a month again. What’s going on?”
“Fuck, Cody, I don’t know where to start.”
“I see I had reason to be worried about you. Come on, Ben. It’s me. We’ve talked about everything over the years. And I mean everything.”
“I know that,” he said softly. In some ways, Ben was closer to the guys at the Rawhide Club than he was with his brothers.
“Then talk to me.”
“Remember that friend of Layla’s?” Cody nodded. “We ran into each other in Sundance after that weekend at the club. She’s just moved there, so we’ve been playin’ at my house, on a trial basis because she’s not convinced she’s cut out for a Dom/sub relationship. It’s ended up complicated. Even more than I’m letting on because I have feelings for her. Like hardcore I-think-I’m-in-fucking-love-with-her feelings.”
Cody whistled. “Did you tell her?”
“No.” Ben knocked back a swallow of beer. “Because I know she doesn’t feel the same way. I was an experiment. A failed one; she wanted me because I was a Dom, and now she doesn’t want me because I’m a Dom.”
“We came to terms with who we are a long time ago, Ben.”
“I thought I had. Now I don’t know.”
Cody clapped him on the back. “I’m gonna give you the same advice you gave me when Kristin gave me back my collar, get over it, get on with it.”
Ben snorted. “And that’s worked for you…how? You’re still f**king in love with Kristin. You’re still waiting for her to walk back through that door.”
“And hell will freeze over before that happens, so don’t be a dumb f**ker like me. There are plenty of woman who wanna get with Bennett. Line up another sub. That’ll take the sting out of it.”
But I don’t want another sub. I want Ainsley.
“I recognize that look. Listen to me. Don’t be a pathetic motherfucker. Move on. Because we both know once a sub’s made her mind up she’s not really a sub, or she’s got an excuse not to be with you as you really are, there’s no going back.” Cody squeezed his shoulder and left him to consider his advice.
What sucked? Cody was exactly right. Which was why Ben hadn’t wanted to talk to him in the first place.
Sometime later Mary Jane and Cliff braved the gloomy cloud surrounding Ben and took seats at his table. The couple had been married thirty years and recently committed to a dominant and submissive relationship.
Mary Jane liked a bite of pain. Cliff, a novice with brute strength, had gotten comfortable with a flogger and a cane, but shied away from the single tail whip. So Ben helped them out, using the whip on Mary Jane while Cliff watched. When Mary Jane reached her happy place, Ben left the scene. No hard-on, no hard feelings.
“Bennett. Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“It’s been a few. How are things with you?” He addressed his comments to Cliff, since they followed traditional protocol in the club and Mary Jane kept her eyes averted.
“Good. Is everything all right?” Cliff asked.
He sighed. “I’ve got a few things on my mind.”