Shame made heat flare in his cheeks. “Goddammit, Ben, no, I ain’t that way, you know that. I got kicked off the tour and didn’t want you guys to know because I don’t want any of you to think less of me than you already do.”
Ben stared at him. Hard. With such a mix of emotions swimming in his eyes that Chase couldn’t look away. Then he said curtly, “The truth about what went down. All of it. Right now.”
Chase relayed everything.
His brother walked to the fence. Gazed across the pasture. Walked back. “Okay. I believe you.”
That stung. Ben’s first thought was he’d been lying? Right. Ben had caught Chase in lies more times than he cared to admit.
“But you don’t get to toss off the ‘think less of you’ bullshit comment because that’s a total lie. We’re all proud of you, Chase. But the fact is, you ain’t proud of yourself. And I get sick and tired of us—your family—bein’ dead last on your list of priorities. You should’ve come to us first.”
“Really? Last time I came home, I ended up staying with Tell because Mom was having the entire inside of the house repainted, Quinn and Libby’s kids were sick, and you had ‘plans’, so don’t give me that I should’ve come to you first crap. You don’t know what it’s like not to have a home you can go to whenever you feel like it.”
Ben seemed surprised by Chase’s explanation. “Regardless. Mom is worried about you because of the injury announcement, and you weren’t forthcoming about it.” He pointed at Chase. “Then no one hears from you for two weeks? Beyond the ‘I’m fine, more later’ texts you’ve sent to all of us. That’s bogus and you know it.”
“Yeah, I suck, I’m sure that’s a big f**kin’ shocker,” he muttered. “Are they pissed?”
“Not as much as they might’ve been in the past. A whole lot changed between them after Aunt Joan left Uncle Casper.”
His aunt and uncle being Splitsville after so many years of marriage was hard to believe. “Like what?”
“I dunno, I don’t…” Ben sighed and studied his boots. “It’s like they’re in a honeymoon phase. That sounds stupid, but whenever I see Brandt and Jessie, I realize Mom and Dad are acting just like them. Maybe it has to do with Dad retiring.”
Not realizing things had changed in his family made Chase feel guiltier yet.
“As far as you sneaking into Wyoming because you thought I’d judge you? Yeah, I probably would’ve chewed your ass. Reminded you that when things go to hell you don’t run from your family, you’re supposed to run to them. Reminded you that we talked about some of this distraction shit last year. You didn’t listen to me. Or Quinn. But I figure I’m entitled to givin’ you what for now, bein’s I’m the older, wiser brother and all.”
Chase grinned. “Thought I saw some new gray hair on that stubborn head of yours.”
“Bite me.” Ben’s smile faded. “I’ve said my piece. But there’s one thing I ain’t letting you off the hook for.”
He expected Ben to bring up Ava and braced himself. “What?”
“You’re gonna make a ‘surprise’ visit to Mom and Dad before you leave.” Ben frowned. “I’d call first just to make sure they’re not goin’ at it on the living room floor.”
“Thanks for that mental picture, bro.”
“Hey, I got to see the live version, so consider yourself lucky.”
“No. Way. Mom and Dad? Doin’ the nasty on the floral rug we weren’t even allowed to walk on?”
Ben nodded. “They didn’t see me and I backed away quietly when I saw them. Then went home and drank until I passed out. Quinn wasn’t happy I was worthless the next day. So I gave him a much more graphic version of what I’d seen than what I’m telling you. And while you’re out and about, stop and see Quinn, Libby and the kids.”
“I’m never gonna get outta town tomorrow,” he grumbled.
“I’m glad you’re leaving. I hoped you had a better plan than holing up in this trailer and spending the summer sulking.”
He knew Ben was worried, and the way he showed concern was to provoke him. Weird, but it always worked.
“Where you off to?”
“Cash Big Crow is gonna help me figure out what I changed in my ridin’ style. Guess I’ll be getting on a lot of bulls to try and fix it.”
“Smart. Then what?”
Chase couldn’t tell his “don’t lie” brother about his bogus PRCA card and his intent to ride as many bulls as possible in the next month. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’m gonna try like hell to stay off the radar. Maybe the PBR will commute my sentence.”
“Be interesting to see what happens. Just don’t keep me outta the loop, okay?”
He had the sense there was more to it. Was Ben somehow…lonely? “So. You been winning at the McKay poker games?”
Ben shrugged. “Some. Dalton’s poker face is for shit. Tell’s been working on his professional face since he became a licensed rodeo judge. Truth is, the games have tapered off, despite our married cousin’s claims they wanted to join in. Hell, even Brandt can’t be away from Jessie for a night of cards.”
“Whatcha been doin’ with yourself?”
“This and that. Spending time in Gillette. Building furniture. Got a bed and breakfast joint in Jackson Hole that ordered eight complete bedroom sets. But they want eight different designs, so that’s been a challenge.”
Ben had turned his talent for building log furniture into a nice sideline. “That’s great. But I know you ain’t sawing logs all the time.”
“Ha-ha. That’s still not as funny as the first fifty times you said it.”
“You seein’ anyone?”
“I’m working with a couple of ladies. Won’t be anything long term. Speaking of short term…What’s goin’ on with you and Ava?”
“There’s nothin’ goin’ on because I swore off women.”
“Again?” Ben rolled his eyes. “How long this time?”
“A month.”
“Got any money or a share in a bull ridin’ on it?”
“No. My career is ridin’ on it.”
That gave Ben pause.
“Look, Ava is beyond beautiful. She’s got a body that don’t quit. Yet she ain’t at all the phony, snooty, rich TV star I figured she’d be. She’s funny. And smart. Curious as a damn cat. And she’s…real. I like her. We’re friends. Which is why I ain’t gonna sleep with her.”