But the most sickening part was the claim that I was apparently a home wrecker and had caused Jackson Reynard and Candace Stile to break up. Since they had linked me to the picture with Jackson taken before Candace and Jackson's reported breakup, it was assumed that Jackson had been cheating on Candace with me.
My hand shook on the mouse as I scrolled through the accusatory articles until I finally had to close the browser, not able to take anymore.
"Are you okay?" Celeste said softly, all her earlier glee gone.
I shook my head, feeling defeated and bleak. "They have it all wrong. Jackson and I...it's not like that. And he told me that he wasn't dating Candace."
"So you are involved?" Celeste asked cautiously.
"No!" I exclaimed, but I didn't want to explain. As much as I liked Celeste, I was paranoid that even more details about Jackson and me would be leaked. "I-I can't talk about it, Celeste. I have to figure out how to handle this. I just hope to God that this doesn't affect my job. It can't be good for Forrester's image to have one of their employees splashed across the gossip pages. Especially since Drew has been dragged into this." I hesitated before continuing. "Is Drew in yet?"
"No, he's traveling for the rest of the week. He won't be back until Monday." Celeste looked like she wanted to barrage me with questions, but for once she restrained herself. It was probably due to me looking like I was going to faint.
I breathed in deeply, trying to erect a facade of calmness. "This is all just silly gossip. I don't know why I'm getting all worked up about it. Jackson is just an old friend and we were catching up. The pictures just seem misleading." I smiled at Celeste. "I have a ton of work to get through. Can we catch up later?"
Celeste nodded uncertainly as she rose and left my office. I followed her to talk to Marie.
"Please hold all my calls," I said brightly as Marie just stared at me. "I have a mountain of things to go through since I left early yesterday."
Marie just nodded and I stepped back into my office, closing the door softly behind me. I sat heavily in my chair, resting my elbows on my desk and leaning my forehead against my clasped hands. I stayed in that position for a while as my mind raced, wondering what, if anything, I should do.
I jumped when I heard my cell phone ring and saw that it was Trisha. We had talked regularly these past few months, but I hadn't told her anything about Jackson. It was too complicated to explain, and I was embarrassed by my weakness of giving in to him. I was sure she had seen the pictures and I figured I would have to explain it to her sooner or later, so I reluctantly answered her call.
"Hello?"
"Emma! What the hell is going on? There are pictures of you and Jackson everywhere!"
I breathed in deeply, steeling myself for her disapproval. "It's been harder to avoid him than I thought. We've...met a couple of times."
"What does that mean?" Trisha asked, sounding concerned. "Are you involved with him again?"
"It's not like that. We're not dating or anything."
"So what are you doing?" Trisha's voice turned cautious. "Have you slept with him?"
My silence was answer enough and I heard the worry in Trisha's voice when she spoke again.
"Emma, don't you think it's dangerous for you to get involved in any manner with Jackson? He broke your heart before, but now he has the ability to embarrass you in front of the whole world. Is it true that he cheated on Candace Stile with you?"
"No," I said but with little conviction. Even though Jackson had told me he was never involved with Candace, I didn't know whether to believe him. After all, he had cheated before. "He told me that they never dated. I'm not looking for a relationship with Jackson again. It was just a moment of weakness."
"Do you still love him, Emma?" Trisha sounded sad, as if she already knew the answer. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, the stress of the past few days coupled with the realization that I still loved Jackson being too much to handle.
"That doesn't matter," I replied brokenly, not wanting to admit it out loud, even though my lack of an answer made it clear. "I'm staying away from Jackson. I'm hoping this all dies down once people realize Jackson and I aren't together."
"Do you want me to come up? There are still a lot of shoes in New York with my name on it. It'll give me an excuse to spend money."
I forced a laugh, making my voice sound lighter. "It's okay, Trisha. Really. I'm just going to pretend like this never happened until everyone forgets about it." But I knew that I would never forget.
I ended the call, promising to call Trisha if I needed to talk. I sighed when my mother called me almost as soon as I disconnected with Trisha, demanding an explanation. Instead of being appalled, she seemed almost excited by my association with Jackson, conveniently forgetting that I had once been destroyed by the demise of our relationship.
I kept the door to my office closed for the rest of the day. I tried to get as much work done as possible, forcing myself to stay away from the internet. Thankfully, Marie held all my calls as requested and I heard her outside my door telling people that I was at a meeting when they tried to stop by.
It was well past lunchtime when I saw my cell phone light up. I had already gotten quite a few calls that I hadn't answered. Some were people I had lost contact with ages ago and I wasn't about to humor their questions. Others had been numbers I hadn't recognized. When I listened to the voicemail of one of the unrecognizable numbers, I cringed at the reporter asking for a comment. I couldn't believe that this was actually considered newsworthy, never mind that they had been able to get my unlisted cell phone number. After that, I didn't listen to any of the messages and put my ringer on silent.
But now Jackson's name was flashing across the screen of my phone and I debated whether to answer it. What a fatalistic sigh, I answered it right before it went to voicemail, knowing that Jackson could be relentless.
"Hello?"
"Emma, I'm so sorry." Jackson sounded tense and angry. "My publicist has been calling me but I haven't been answering so I didn't realize until just now the crap that's been happening. Are you okay?"
"It's not exactly fun having my pictures posted everywhere, especially when I'm being pegged as the other woman."
Jackson sighed heavily. "I'm so sick of this shit. The last thing I wanted to do was to drag you into this. I wasn't thinking. I was just so damn angry that all I could think about was getting you alone." Jackson was silent for a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I seem to lose control around you."