"I'm sorry." I was mortified by my behavior. Jackson hadn't done anything wrong. I was just letting my insecurities get in the way. It was hard to be in a room full of beautiful women and have half of them lusting after your boyfriend. It didn't help that the majority of these beautiful women were famous and rich. "I just can't stand the thought of you with all those other women."
"I know, sweetheart. I know, because I feel the same way when I think of you with another man."
We let the music wash over us, our bodies molded together as Jackson's lips traveled from my ear to my neck. I shivered when his lips grazed the sensitive curve of my neck, kissing me openmouthed while his tongue tasted me. It was warm on the dance floor with all the bodies, but they gave us a sense of privacy since it was hard to see anything through the mass of people. I could feel the ridge of Jackson's arousal pressing against me and warmth flooded between my legs in response.
"We need to get out of here. Otherwise we're going to have an audience while I spread your legs and fuck you."
It was hard to take in a full breath at Jackson's words, so I just nodded, feeling the same need burning inside of me. We broke apart as Jackson took my hand, guiding me through the crowd. We caught sight of Marc as we navigated through the lounge and Jackson stopped to speak to him.
"Hey, Marc. We're leaving. I'll talk to you later."
"No problem. You actually stayed longer than I thought you would." Marc turned to me with a bright smile. "It was great meeting you, Emma. Let me know if you ever need help keeping Jackson in line."
"I will," I replied with a smile. "It was nice meeting you too."
Craig appeared like magic when we stepped outside onto the sidewalk. I was wondering how he knew when to pull up with the SUV when I saw that Jackson was holding his cell phone. Craig ushered us into the SUV as the remaining press took pictures of us leaving.
Jackson immediately raised the partition when we got into the car. "Did you call Craig to tell him to pull up in front? I didn't even see you use your phone."
"I texted him. We have a few codes that we use to communicate quickly through texts. It's faster and we don't have to worry about people overhearing us."
"Oh." I didn't know what else to say as I looked at Jackson warily. Now that the haze of passion had cleared, I was wondering if we were going to get into an argument about my earlier comments. Jackson's jaw looked hard as he turned towards me, his eyes piercing.
"Do you want to repeat those questions that you asked me earlier?"
I hesitated, not liking the expression on his face. I had been hoping that he would be too turned on to talk about my earlier outburst but I wasn't so lucky. "You can't blame me for wondering. Those women were practically throwing themselves at you, but in a very familiar way."
"I can understand the feeling. I think the only way to resolve this is for both of us to be forthcoming about what we've been doing while we've been apart."
This was starting to feel dangerous. Jackson's tension was palpable and I didn't think it was a good idea to start muddling the present with the past.
"I should have never brought it up. Let's just forget about it."
"It's too late for that. Now I can't stop thinking about who you've been with."
"Does it matter? We're together now."
The determined look on Jackson's face was unsettling.
"Emma, it will exorcise some demons for me. I've spent the last five years imagining you with Sean. Now that I know you weren't together, I'm left wondering what the hell you were doing while we were apart. And my imagination isn't being kind."
I sighed, knowing that Jackson's stubbornness wouldn't let the subject drop. I cursed myself for letting my jealousy mixed with alcohol get me in this uncomfortable spot. "Let's at least wait until we get back to my apartment."
We rode the rest of the way to my place in silence. Our earlier desire had vanished, replaced with a tension that grew as we got closer to my apartment. Jackson's grim expression didn't make things any better.
The silence continued as we rode up the elevator and walked to my apartment door. I took a deep breath after I had unlocked the door and stepped inside, turning to face Jackson.
"Jackson, I'm sorry for letting my jealousy get the best of me tonight. Please, let's just forget about it and enjoy the rest of the night." I raised a hand to caress his cheek. Jackson's jaw tightened and a muscle started twitching in his cheek as if he were gritting his teeth.
"Emma, I need to know."
I dropped my hand as irritation started to rise. "Why? Why do you need to know? If I'm willing to drop whatever you did while we were apart, why can't you?" I didn't add the fact that I was also actively trying to forget what Jackson had done to me while we were together. "I don't think it's a good idea to talk about past relationships."
Jackson grasped my arms. "So there have been past relationships."
I made a sound of frustration, pushing at his shoulders so that I could put some distance between us, but it was like a fly batting against a mountain. Jackson's mouth tightened as he pinned me with his gaze. "I need to know everything about you, Emma. It's driving me crazy not knowing whether you've been with other men while we've been apart."
"When did you get this controlling?" It wasn't a rhetorical question. I genuinely wanted to know what had happened to Jackson to make him so tyrannical at times. It was as if the old sweet Jackson had been melded with a new Jackson that needed to control everything.
"I've spent a lot of years feeling out of control. I swore that if I ever got you back, I wouldn't let anything come between us. And right now, the idea of you with other men is definitely coming between us."
"What do you want me to say?" I cried out, reaching my breaking point. "That I was a nun and never let another man touch me? I guess then it's safe to say that you were celibate all these years. Admirable, considering how many pictures I saw of you with women draped all over you!"
Jackson's expression was grim as his eyes bored into me. "Fine, I'll go first. Have I fucked other women? I have. It's pretty easy when everyone is eager to spread their legs for me. I took what was offered, although not nearly as much as I could have. But the real question is, who was I thinking about when I was fucking those other women? I was imagining your face, your body, pretending that it was you. It was the only way I could get off. Do you know how many times I've had a woman slap me because I called her Emma in the middle of sex? It's even worse when the woman is so desperate to bed me that she doesn't care that I call her by the wrong name."